yoyo_small

The motives behind male to female 'transformations' are not at all clear or even universal among those considering it. A good friend of mine had the op. (on NHS BTW) not because she wanted to be a woman, as much as wanted the ribbing to stop.

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But, speaking generally? I've met no-one where the one having the 'op became any happier for it.

There's exactly one motivation for all trans people who transition, and it's that we can't feel comfortable and OK in ourselves if we don't. You hear a lot of cissexual (ie. not trans) people flapping their jaws about how we Shouldn't Be Allowed to transition because it's obviously Bad For Us and will make us Lonely And Miserable Forever - well, that's just another form of prejudice really. Denying us the right to make our own choices, or painting us as irresponsible/crazy/naive if we choose to get the help we need.

There's no magic wand that solves all of anybody's problems at one fell swoop, and transition's no different in that respect. Can it create more problems for a person? Yes, absolutely. Are more of the people who have a lot of trouble after transition MtF than FtM? Also yes. But does it take away a huge, overwhelming, inarticulable source of pain from your everyday life?

Also yes.

Besides which, how many trans people have you met who passed perfectly, and who therefore you didn't have any idea were trans? Or to put it another way - how many of the perfectly normal people you've met might have been trans? I find it very funny the way cis folk think they can always spot a transsexual.

Yes, FTMs do exist, I am one

What you're fantastising about is a pre-op MTF though. Like a lot of people have said most of us trans guys don't have lower surgery because the results are so bad. (Here in the UK you can get it funded by the NHS so cost is less of a problem, but all the guys I know just don't fancy the results).

Interesting comment about FTMs flying under the radar more because it's more stigmatised - I don't know if it's a UK/US thing but over here I think we're less known purely because we're less visible. There are fewer of us to start with (apparently FTMs make up about a third of the patients at Charing Cross, the UK's oldest and biggest gender identity clinic) and people don't seem to find us as scary or threatening as MTFs. Most people over here who find out a guy is FTM are surprised, but take it in their stride; there doesn't seem to be any huge culture of "MEN must be MEN and WOMEN must be WOMEN" over here. I guess things must be different in the States.

I have sexual feelings about guys like i do about girls but dont like the idea of being in a relationship with guys , this is why i thought i was bi not gay, but recently i got drunk and kissed a guy nothing more but it felt really great. Tipical of me i was so drunk i lost his number, and havent been able to find him again, i am very nervous about meeting guys and girls.

I'm bi but I'm the other way round to you. Women look great and I find them really sexy; and yes, I do think they're more naturally nurturing than a lot of men. But there's a big downside to that because the more nurturing a woman is the less she seems to have a sense of humour; what you gain on the swings you lose on the roundabouts, and I really can't stand being told how to feel by anyone so I tend to stay away from the very typically feminine/maternal girls.

I also find women are unbelievably complicated in relationships, and most of all I really, really cannot stand the bitchiness that seems to be part and parcel of the average straight girl's life; I hate the way women undermine each other all the time. So I pretty much can't stomach the idea of having a woman as a partner, and I kind of ended up gay by default as a result. I'm lucky because my partner (like me) is a trans guy and he learnt a lot about life from his mum; he can look after me when I need it and he loves to do it, but he's still a guy so he manages to do it without being controlling.

Guess I should be looking for a daddy not a mommy then XD

It's not something I tell people about, but that's because most people outside the fetish community confuse it with paedophilia; I don't fancy the explanations and people thinking I'm a freak. I know it's not anything I need to be ashamed of, just something other people find it very hard to understand. I've got enough other issues in my life that the AB stuff is not really my biggest priority when it comes to educating folks, so most of the time it just gets swept under the carpet for the sake of a quiet life.

I did tell my partner because I didn't want to be dishonest with him, but then it's a gay relationship so it's easy for us to be open about fetishy things

Well I'm 5'3" so the womens' ones fit me fine, but they were doing some mens' specific ones when I last loked before Christmas that came in better sizes for someone tall. I think there were tiger print, camouflage and a space invaders one that sold out instantly and could only be got hold of through ebay. Check on Ebay, there were loads of people selling them on.