Daddy Fred

Baby Smokey, your experience is classic, just as classic as her reaction to you interfering between them. The people you describe in your story do not think or emote in the usual vanilla way. They are "conflict orientated" people, to be found anywhere and everywhere. These kind of people have been conflict orientated since infancy, as is the 2y/o you mention being so orientated right now. History repeats itself.

Is it sad? YES! Can the likes of us do anything about it? NO! Do we get involved? NO!
Do we get someone else involved, like police? YES! -- but keep quiet about it if you're living next door, you need to protect yourself against such people.

I've often though that humankind, once the thin veneer of civilization is brushed away (like by alcohol) reveals what's underneath. And that's sobering. Underneath there is the chimpanzee/ape/primate we came from not very long ago.

Daddy Fred.

I've been trying to put myself 'in your shoes' PaddedHusky, trying to see things as you do. It's a dilemma isn't it?
On the one hand you have to live in the real world and all its difficulties (like slim paycheques), and on the other it's so nice to just ignore it all, forget it all and go back to the warmth and comfort of a nappy/diaper.
So you look for "something" from another person, but you don't quite know what, maybe someone who can 'save' you from the kind of problems you're facing and maybe help you to be in that state that seems to relieve the anxieties that keep coming over you.

So just what can you do to make things easier?

Not a lot it's true, but there are a few attitudes you can change, gradually, with time.
What do I mean exactly by attitudes? I mean that some of the ways you're reacting to circumstance are the result of attitudes that are redundant and don't fit the way you are right now, but maybe fitted ok when you were little. As you have found out, the real world of "other people" can be pretty uncaring, and from what you say, you've not found a caring person to look after you in the ways you need.

If I said to you that you have two personalities, one who deals with the world and all its warts, and a second, partially hidden personality that comes from way back when you were an infant, would you disagree? Do take a little time to consider that way of looking at yourself (not easy!).

Once you can see things from a different direction, new possibilities open up for you, just because you are AWARE of them by changing your attitude/approach. By seeing your two personalities, one who deals with the real world, and a virtual one who is attached but by no means the same, you could find the anxiety states coming over you might start to subside, and the fear of being found out by your friends/colleagues can be felt for what it is - not that important. You can work out reasonable excuses for your private life such as being a touch incontinent or whatever suits. You might even discover someone who likes you BECAUSE you are seen as vulnerable by them. Not all those people would be hostile to your condition -- right?

Daddy Fred.

Question for U, Bettypoo -- what do you feel has made this current change?
Daddy Fred.

The motives behind male to female 'transformations' are not at all clear or even universal among those considering it. A good friend of mine had the op. (on NHS BTW) not because she wanted to be a woman, as much as wanted the ribbing to stop. She had a naturally high voice, so much so that on telephone she was ALWAYS mistaken for a girl. As a boy, he had wide hips and a narrow waist and hardly needed to shave. At work there was constant taunting and some pretty nasty behavior, (nasty in the british sense of ugly/bullying).
But, speaking generally? I've met no-one where the one having the 'op became any happier for it. Sex life virtually disappears after she goes through all the 'men-on-the-make' as I call them, straight men of course. None of them take a trans-op. seriously, it's just a rocks-off exercise for them, no personal involvement. Like an unpaid prostitute.
A post-op. gurl eventually lives in a kind of "no-man's land" (no pun intended) of not being a man, and not really being a woman in the full sense, meaning can't have kids, can't get conventionally married, can't fool the other girls, and in some cases still being too tall, having big feet, an adam's apple, deep voice or a contrived falsetto -- you know, the usual suspects.
If YOU are thinking of the 'op., I would urge you to think very hard indeed about just what you're contemplating here. It's a big, irreversible event to go through.
Daddy Fred.

Andromeda, how about contacting the proprietors of "Dulcolax" and asking if there is a suitable product from them which delays effectiveness -- you never know 'til you ask!
Daddy Fred
xx.

Unrealisic expectations. So you want a Mummy/Daddy. Of course you do! You want someone to feed you, house you, and wipe your arse. Often you are wanting this from an almost complete stranger. Time after time I meet this same kind of thing from abys. on websites like this. It's not going to happen! Ok, maybe around one in 10,000 cases, but don't bet on it being you. You're no longer talking fantasyland internet, you're talking reality. And what does that reality amount to? It amounts, for instance, to paying something like £150 to professional Mummy/Daddies who have got themselves geared up for it. You get about two to four hours of babyland, then it's back to 'as was'. Not what you want? You want private and personal as a lifestyle...with a significant other.
Now, I'm not blaming you for wanting to be babied -- nothing wrong with that. An old friend of mine from Birmingham called Stewie tried and tried, then finally gave up. There must be thousands like him. So have I any advices for someone wanting a Mummy/Daddy? Yes!
Be patient.
Let your grownup self handle things.
If you find someone who is a possible, you've just gotta work out the practical stuff like paying the rent etc.
You are gonna have to move and live somewhere else if you're successful.
You'll be tearing yourself up by the roots, home, job, friends.
Ask yourself, "is this what I want, full-time, all day every day?
Quite possibly, you might realize IT ISN'T!
Daddy Fred.

You know, reading all this, and especially that last posting, it wouln't surprize me if in ten years or so the number of adults wearing nappy/diapers goes up by leaps and bounds. Plus another little problem these days of there being very few public toilets/restrooms left in case you need to go. And have you ever been in a pub. where the conversation has come around to a particularly interesting piece of gossip about someone, when, to your horror, you just have to go to the loo? Wearing a pullup etc., you can just sit there and piss yourself quietly all the while 'picking up the dirt' on so-and-so. Then there might be the unexpected thrill of accidentally finding out someone else wears a pullup the same as you.
Interesting conversations should follow...
Daddy Fred xx.

I think the contributor Creepymouse has the right handle on bladder and bowel control; it is something learned in infancy because the adult responsible partly wants the nuisance of dirty diaper/nappies to end, and partly the conviction that 'it is the right thing to do'.
However my experience in practical psychology and counselling indicates that no learning ever completely goes away -- it simply gets overlaid with new learning. An unconscious process then comes in, and there is a very rapid 'switch' from original to new, completely unknown to the person concerned. Ordinary hypnosis reveals this clearly, e.g. when a punter is hypnotized and told he is a toddler and playing with his/her toys, not only does he/she do this with no hesitation, other little things are noticeable, like change of speech, accent etc.
So the strong motivation to be incontinent by a feeling of well-being or reward is stronger than the 'resident-program retention of pee and poo from early learning' and can be gradually given up. BTW, I have read that a hypnotized person can be told to forget how to hold his/her pee and poo, and it actually works; but with hypnotism, it gradually wears off. With continual 'self-hypnosis' this wearing off won't happen I reckon. Becoming incontinent during sleep seems to prove this, and that it's gone beyond the ordinary unconscious.
The conclusion is -- once you've become incontinent by your own efforts when asleep, it's very likely to be permanent. No way back. Live with it.
Daddy Fred.

For Pammywhacks, I've kept statistics on this one. I guess about half are fakes and closets. They will never meet you. Of all the people you pm., you are likely to meet around 2% of them. Therefore you'll have to put a lot of work into it. How can you save some work, disappointments?
If they won't speak with you on the 'phone, forget them. They're fake. There's no excuse that holds water. You can't believe texts and pictures. Such a lot are lies, and pix. of someone else.
If you arrange to meet, do it somewhere very convenient to you so you're not put out. Have a plan B for a no-show. Expect a 1 in 4 no-show. I don't mind reimbursing for travel costs, AFTER I've met them. Never send money to anyone before.
If you have them in at your place, hide any money and any sensitive material, esp. gold. At night make sure everything is locked up and keep the key under your pillow. No nocturnal 'flits' with your valuables.
Am I cynical -- yes. Why? I've been robbed. It's not nice. Not nice at all. But to be even-handed, very few people turn out to be villains. Be wise before the event though.
Daddy Fred