mike indiapers

Great addition

Great new chapter and I enjoyed the dynamic about Sam's last time touching himself.  Jess is establishing her dominance and expectations and Sam is following her lead.  I look forward to Sam's next day in diapers and what will unfold as he continues to regress into his inner little personality.  Keep them coming NewGuy!

I have had my poopy diapers changed numerous times by my mommy and it is simply amazing.  The intimancy that comes from it is incredible.  Each time, I felt so embarrassed, yet completely submissive to what was happening.

First, thank you Sir Stinkypants for the posting and provocation to delve into a very controversial topic within mainstream society - infantilism and the attraction to diapers.  A much more healthy way to seek understanding than the media portrayal of our lifestyle.

What a great topic and I really enjoyed reading the primer describing the psychology of infantilism from the defunct DPF website.  As a lifelong ABDL, I could relate to the a few key drivers of what triggers infantilism and the attraction to wearing diapers as an adult.  I try very hard to keep my ABDL needs in balance with the other very important non-ABDL things in my life and have found that this balance is healthy and allows my ABDL feelings to be a positive influence to my overall personality - i.e. it provides me with happiness that permeates my entire perspective on life and relationships with others.  What follows is a brief synopsis of my journey into the ABDL world.

My earliest memories were when I was 3 years old and my mom just brought home my baby brother.  I grew up in a military family where my father was never home and we moved every year or two to a new location.  The disruption of constant change, a new sibling, and a mother that was very harsh and non-nurturing had a lasting and permanent impact on me and caused issues with potty training.

With a new baby in the home, my mom took me out of diapers and forced the potty on me immediately.  I vaguely remember trying hard to please her and be the big kid of the home now that I had a baby brother.  I recall that the attention shifted away from me and that I was now relegated to a supporting role.  About this time, we moved to a new location and I struggled with using the potty, having many accidents.  My mom and dad grew frustrated with me and my mom started to diaper me after accidents and threaten to return me to diapers on a permanent basis if I continued to go in my pants.  Little did I know at the time that I had a physical condition called irritable bowel syndrome, which made control difficult.

My accidents continued and I remember very clearly the incident that got me back in diapers on a permanent basis just after I turned 4 years old.  We were at the store shopping when the urge to go hit me very sudden and before I knew it I had pooped my pants.  My mom was very upset and we went home immediately to clean me up.  She told me she had enough and proceeded to diaper me in my brother's diapers, which were very snug.  She took me to the local Sears and bought bigger diapers and plastic pants for me and I stayed in diapers for the next two years until I was finally potty trained again so I could start school - I started school a year late due to my IBS and need to wear diapers.  During this time, I was very self conscious and embarrassed about being in diapers and using them.

I remember I was thrilled to finally be out of diapers once in school, but I continued to have accidents as I tried to learned to understand my body signals better having IBS.  During the next few years, my mom would continue to use diapers as a form of punishment if I had an accident to remind me that I was acting babyish.  Because of my extended time in diapers I continued to wet the bed, so I wore diapers at night.  It was very humiliating for me to be in diapers during the daytime.  At the same time, I started to notice how other mom's treated their toddlers during diaper changes in a loving and nurturing manner and the connection to diapers started to form in my head.

I remember starting to fantasize about being diapered by a loving mommy and living a new life away from my family and cold, nonsense real mom.  These feelings continued into my teenage years and I started to experiment with diapers by buying pampers and trying them on.  All sorts of feelings rushed into my head.  

Fast forward to college, where I discovered adult diapers and started to experiment with them.  My ABDL side started to form, but i thought i was alone.  It wasn't until I found the ABDL community on the Internet, Diaper Pail Friends, etc.  that I knew there were others with similar interests and feelings.  I remember feeling elated that I was among friends and met ABDLs like myself.

I am a practicing ABDL today, yet live a very vanilla life outside my baby and diaper time.  I like to be the age of 2 or 3 when I age play and have a very strong attraction to being put in diapers and nurtured.  That is my story and I would love to share more.

I am definitely one of those toddlers described above when I poop my diapers.  I really like to get into the scene with mommy and make it as realistic as possible.  My mommy is very much into the nurturing side of our age play and likes me to act just like a 2 year that is in self discovery with his poopies and the fact that I must be in diapers since I am unfamiliar with the potty at this stage.  Mommy likes to tease me in a loving way when I am in the process of making poopy in my diapers and after the fact.  For me, when I feel the pressure of an impending poop, I allow it to come naturally and usually just fill my diapers wherever I am at the time.  I am often sitting back on the couch drinking my bottle watching TV when the feeling hits me, so I just let go.  My mommy usually knows when I am going, because I get that concentrating look and she will say something cute to me about loading my diapers and being a good boy.  

Just like a toddler, I don't say anything and try to go about my activities without a care in the world with the mess in my pants.  I can smell my deed soon thereafter and start to get excited about the anticipation of when my mommy will smell it too and say something about her stinky boy - by this time she knows anyway, but it adds to the build up and makes me feel incredibly babyish and ashamed about what I did in my pants.  I never ask to be changed when messy and will always deny it when asked by mommy.  I love when my mommy asks me if I am stinky or messy and enjoy the back and forth play between us as she continues her interrogation of what I have done.  I love when I am playing in a room by myself, poop my diapers, my mommy walks in and the smell is obvious to us both.  Her look is priceless and is always followed by "is someone stinky again?"  

I follow her lead regarding my diaper change.  Most of the time I am changed soon after, but sometimes she will keep me in my poopy pants for awhile if she is preoccupied when another activity or just to remind whom is in control.  The anticipation of my diaper change is very exciting too and I try to allow our scene to play out without any influence from me about the uncomfortable aspects of my messy diapers.  I really like it when mommy will leave the room and return later with a diaper and wipes in her hand and tell me it is time to get cleaned up.  She will sit down beside me and make me lay on my back with my legs up in the air to ensure a thorough cleanup.  Getting diaper cream around my pooper is the ultimate closer to our mommy/baby dynamic involving messy diapers.

In summary, the more realistic it is to how a mommy treats her toddler, the better for us.  I love being caught mid-poop and finishing up as my mommy watches me.

I remember being about 6 years old and coming into the living room in my night diapers and pjs to open presents.  We have pictures of me in my puffy pants too opening gifts without a care in the world.  I remember after presents we had family friends over to the house to continue with Christmas celebrations and I was still in my wet night diapers until my mom finally changed me into a dry diaper for the rest of the day.  What a great memory.

I have always wondered about peer pressure vis a vis potty training.  I would have thought that the self awareness you experienced at 4.5 would have happened earlier.  Did the other kids point out that they didn't wear diapers?  At 4.5 I knew I didn't want to wear the diaper thing my Mom brought home for my bedwetting problem but I didn't know why.
I don't remember any peer pressure but in my situation it wasn't a public issue.
Anondl

It is hard to pinpoint exactly when I started to get sensitive to the fact that I was still in diapers while other kids my age were potty trained, but I do remember being at a birthday party for one of them in the summer when I was 4 1/2 and it was obvious that I was the only one there wearing diapers.  I remember being at the party and wearing shorts over my diapers that didn't hide them very well and the other kids pointing out that I was in diapers - it was so embarrassing for me.  I probably knew that I was unique for being still being in diapers before that age, but that event was a pretty big memory for me and I got ulta-sensitive to being in diapers from that point on.

I remember trying to hide the fact that I was wearing diapers numerous times while out in public and being very aware of the looks I got from other people because they noticed I was still in diapers at my age.  Other moms seemed to be the most interested in why I was still wearing diapers past the normal potty training age and they were the ones that would ask my mom.  I desperately wanted to be a normal child during those days and not draw negative attention to myself.  I remember pleading with my mom on more than one occassion to let me wear training pants and a few times she did allow it.

I was a late potty trainer as a child and can remember having to wear diapers well beyond the age of all the other kids I knew at the time.  It wasn't until I was about 4 and 1/2 that I started to get self conscious about the fact that I was still in diapers while my friends were all potty trained.  I remember feeling more like a toddler than a big kid because I was still wearing and using diapers and having very mixed emotions about my situation.  On one hand, I remember enjoying the extra attention and security that being in diapers brought to me.  Over time I started to feel more embarrassed about having to wear diapers and not being potty trained.  

By the time I was 5, my mom had tried to potty train me a few times without success.  I had trouble controlling my bowels due to having irritable bowel syndrom (IBS) and was put back in diapers soon after each attempt. I remember feeling defeated once I was back in diapers again and was upset with my body.  I also felt mad at my mom for making me stay in diapers - I still have some of these feelings today.  In retrospect, it was probably the only option she had at the time since I was the one with the control issue, but it was still very hard for me to accept.

I remember feeling a lot of pressure and different because I was not potty trained. Our society seems to place a lot of weight and focus on potty training, and for those of us still struggling with this milestone, there is an underlying sense of failure.  I remember feeling this way anytime the topic of my lack of potty training came up with my mom and I overheard the conversation.

I finally was potty trained just before starting kindergarten and remember feeling so proud of myself for getting to wear underpants during the day (I still wore diapers at night).  Something strange started to happen to the way I felt soon thereafter however, because I started to miss my diapers and wanted to go back in them.  Fortunately, my mom obliged a few times when I had a flare up of IBS and she would keep me in diapers until I gained back control.  Eventually I outgrew this and stopped bedwetting and my diapers were gone for good.

I missed being in diapers and started to have strong feelings about wearing them again as I got older.  As a teenager I really wanted to wear diapers and go back to my pre-potty training days.  I discovered diapers again as a young adult and as soon as I started wearing them again I felt at peace.  I struggled for many years about feeling ashamed about my late potty training and wearing diapers so late into childhood, but you can't change the past.  

It is great to have a community here that embraces wearing diapers and I feel safe sharing my past experiences and strong feelings about wanting to wear diapers as an adult.

Both daytime accidents and bedwetting were the reasons why my mom insisted on keeping me in diapers.  I wore diapers during the day and night until I was 6 years old and continued wearing them at night for another couple of years until my bedwetting stopped.  I remember wearing both cloth and plastic pants as well as disposable diapers for trips and when in daycare/nursery school.  My mom used to double diaper me for bed and sometimes even during the day and I remember how thick double cloth diapers were with plastic pants.  I would wake up soaked but my sheets would be dry and the plastic pants were very good at keeping both the wettness and smell contained within. I was a child of the early 70s and it seemed common for parents to still be using diapers on their kids that wet the bed.  By the time I reached 6 yrs old, I felt like I was the only kid my age still wearing diapers and potty trained so late in childhood.  I am sure it is the reason I am an AB/DL today.

I am in San Diego and often travel to LA.  I have been an AB/DL as long as I remember and am interested in meeting others like me.

It is so refreshing to see so many well-adjusted, successful, good-hearted people among us in the AB/DL community, many living in California.  Until finding this community on the web and knowing that others existed just like myself, I always thought my AB/DL side as something I alone had inside of me.  It is great that there are so many of us out there.  Daily life is hard enough, and I am finding that having having others to talk to and share experiences in the AB/DL community is really opening up this side of me and helping feel better about who I am.  I hope to return the favor and make new friends.  Happy Valentines Day!