I've not really had problems with either, strangely enough. But most of my life is private. My ex outed me as abdl to my entire family after we broke up. And some of my family have seen size 12 pink flip flops in our closet (women notice EVERYTHING). I'm a mechanic and have helped them all out of tough spots on multiple occasions, so to treat me rudely based on something I keep privately would bring on a shame-on-you session that would make them feel about 2 inches tall, except for my daughter in law, she has no conscience and treats all wait staff like they're personal assistants in "the devil wears prada".