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How Do I Tell My Spouse Of 34 Years I Like To Wear Diapers?


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8 replies to this topic

#1 Molly Deer

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 12:14 PM

Molly Here!

Hello, as I mentioned in my introduction I have a big problem that I would like to discuss with those of you who have been through a similar situation, and that is:

"Telling my husband of 34 years that I love to wear diapers and plastic pants". Yup, he doesn't know!!! He and I have a very good relationship, but, the following are the reasons I have decided to not tell him:

1) I feel that these types of desires are very personal, what is pleasant to me, he may find distasteful and
2) for me diaper wearing is not the be-all, end-all. I enjoy it when I ‘m wearing, but it doesn’t matter when I don't. This is something I love to do, so I have chosen to keep it to myself.

I don't have any doubt that even if I tell my husband he will keep on loving me, but I fear it could change our relationship in ways I might not want to change, so I have kept this part of my life from him.

Just so you know, I feel I have put him through what I call, a Medical Hell since we have gotten married, things such as: problems having children (we have none, female problems,) broken bones, severe arthritis and Breast Cancer. I tell myself the man has been through enough NO MORE!!!!

Am I using that as just an excuse?????

This is were having a group of people like all of you, who have been through this, is important and your knowledge is needed, to help me change my mind or confirm, that I say nothing.

I know this is allot to ask as a NEWbie but your help is needed. I would appreciated it if only serious replies were made.

Molly Deer

#2 babybrian1973

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 01:31 PM

well hello there molly deer,
first off let me say that i do think that you should tell
your husband. yes like you said it's a personal thing,
and that's part of marriage (sharing personal feelings,
thoughts, your hopes dreams and fears). i think that
it may be unfair to your huusband to not tell him these
feelings that you have. plus you never know, he may be
holding something back himself for fear of rejection on
your part.
also, i was wondering, do you have a plan on how to
tell him if and when you do? and also, if you do tell him
and he is more than alright with it, would you like it if he
participated in diaper play?
I've been knocking this around in my head trying to think
of possible drawbacks to not telling him. the only ones that
I can come up with is that you aren't being honest with him,
and that you could lose out on some explosive intimacy.
feasable drawbacks to telling him???
-he doesn't want to participate in diaper play
-raises his eyebrow as if to say "you like to what?"
-he likes it so much that you two don't get out of bed
for a month (wait, is that a drawback?).

well thats my two cents worth.

#3 Pipsqueak

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 02:42 PM

I think telling him is a good idea, Molly. In your case, because you say it's not the be-all and end-all, it's not like you're hung up on having him act like a daddy for you, which might freak him out a bit. You're just letting him in on something that relaxes you and gives you pleasure. I also think it might be a huge weight off your shoulders because you don't have to hide the evidence anymore. If he has no idea, then you must be sneaking opportunities when he's out of the house, which can be extremely stressful. If you let him know that the reason you didn't tell him for all these years is that you were embarrassed, he won't be as hurt to find out you've been keeping secrets.

Obviously, you're the only one who can decide for certain whether to tell him or not, but you may find that he thinks it's cute or sexy. I tend to think that men respond better to a spouse who wears diapers than most of us women do. As long as he knows that you don't expect him to participate in any "scenarios" with you if he's uncomfortable with it, there's not a whole lot to object to. From the sounds of things, you're very discreet, so it's not like anything else will change other then him knowing you a little better.

#4 Saladin1976

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 03:24 PM

I always cringe when some folks on here always advise people to 'come out' to their S.O. just because everything went alright when they did it. It doesn't always go that way.

I think that by this point you probably really know your hubby and how he'll react; if your gut instinct is that he may react badly, I think you may be making the right choice.

#5 CDLover

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 03:46 PM

Hi Molly...

It is very difficult to tell another what to do. You have been married for 34 years. You know your husband better than anyone.

The reason why I think would be a good reason to tell, if indeed you do, is because wearing diapers is as you wrote, "I feel that these types of desires are very personal, what is pleasant to me".

When I wear diapers and can share that with my wife, I am sharing something very deep within me. I wear most every night, and we don't "share" this most nights, but when we do, there is something very special about being able to connect with my life partner in some of the most deep, private places of myself.

If you decide to tell, I hope your husband accepts it well and that whether you share or not, that your marriage may flourish.

CDL

#6 lilstevie

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 03:46 PM

Molly , wow , you`ve got some great advice so far and look at me ,,, two post on DD from me in two days !!!
I agree with the above post , being honest is the best way to be . There`s certainly a postive side for you and possibly him for telling him about your diapers .
This is just a thought for you . It may be easier for you and him if you do it this way . Firstly , go to some AB/DL sites and get some information for him to read as to why people enjoy wearing .This might help him understand . If you feel like it`s difficult for you to just come right out and say it face to face , then just write a note or email to him and tell him you have something you`d like to tell him . He will ask you now because you`ve aroused his curiosity. Make sure both you and he are relaxed and not stressed about anything. Maybe tell him in your note that you`d like to tell your secret over dinner ? If you dont feel like you can tell him face to face ,,, just ease into it in your note to him .
You both have apparently been thru alot in the past and weathered some storms together. He may welcome the opportunity to nurture you .
Wish you the best!!!
lilstevie & lilshy (wifey helped write this)

#7 Mr. Sea Otter

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 08:42 PM

I have said this before, so sorry to be repetative... but telling someone will be as big of a deal as you make it (or at least it has been in my experience). Since you mentioned that wearing a diaper is not the end all and be all of your life, you might not want to make it out to be anything bigger than it is. Granted it is hard to talk about! I know how hard it is for me to tell people still, and I am pretty open about the whole thing. Telling the first person is the hardest.

I completely agree with what a few folks have said..... you probably know better than anyone how your husband is going to react. But some of that reaction is going to be based on how you tell him. If you make it sounds like this: "Honey I have this terribly deep and dark secret I have kept from you my whole life and I have been too scared to tell you and I am embarrsed to mention it, please dont think bad of me..." he is probably going to be really nervous and worried you are talking about an affair or something really bad. He might become defensive and there is certainly going to be a lot more tension in the air which isn't going to help you any! On the other hand if you make it something like this" "Honey, you know there is this thing I do by myself sometimes, and its kind of funny actually, but it is something that I want to share with you cause I have always wanted to, but I have been too afraid that you might not accept me. I know it might sound wierd, but I have found that I really like wearing diapers...." Then, depending on his reaction give him as much or as little of info on the subject as you want. You can always send him to my site too.

Its up to you to decide if you want to tell him or not. I suggest making a date with yourself, and deciding what you want to do. If you decide that you do want to tell him, then know that you have already done the hardest part! If you do make that decision there are a couple of things you can do that can help you actually go through with it. Here is one I have used a couple of time.

Send him an e-mail or a note (something written) that says something like, "honey, remind me to tell you something tonight" or "honey, there is something we need to talk about tonight". Writing it down is easier than actually just telling him, and I found it easier to tell somebody if they asked about it (even though they didn't know what they were asking).

Best of luck to you!

Mr. Otter

#8 Danni

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Posted 30 May 2006 - 09:56 PM

Hi Molly,
Welcome to DD.
Being together for 34 yrs is enough to make me believe that whatever you decide, it will not end your relationship.
Both of you have stood the test of time. Been there/done that together.
So maybe he'll accept it or maybe he'll think its distastefull.turn off, ect...
You got that little devil on one shoulder telling you to" tell all , take a chance he''ll love it"
and the angel on the other saying " keep him out of your kinky fetish", he don't need that"
OR
Is it the angel saying "be honest with him, tell him how you feel"
and the little devil saying " keep our dirty little secret between you and me! LOL!

Just a few things to consider-
Pro's-
He is kinky in bed
He is very open minded
He likes to try different and new things ( not just sexual )
He handles adversity well
He is understanding of alternate lifestyles

Con's-
Likes only the missionary position
Is not very responsive to unordinary things
Is set in his ways
shy with talking about sex
prejudice against gay's alternate lifestyles etc...

But

I'm certainly not qualified to give you or anyone advice.
Your decision will come from your heart smile.gif

Thanks for your post.
Let us know how this goes,
Danni

#9 DIAPERPHANTOM

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Posted 31 May 2006 - 01:29 AM

It's an interesting dilemma... Normally I would suggest telling your spouse as I strongly believe they have a genuine need to know, but in your situation I'm reluctant to advise either way. 34 years is a long time to be with someone and not know this about the other person. On the other hand, disclosing this very personal desire could bring you two closer than ever before.

You have shared with us a couple of reason why you haven't told your husband. I'm curious, what's your motivation for telling him now, after 34 years? Have you always wanted to share this with him? Most everything I've read advises NOT to tell anyone EXCEPT your spouse because they don't have a need-to-know something that personal. The main reason for telling your spouse is so that it doesn't become an obstacle in the relationship years down the road, but you've made it work for 34 years and kept it a secret, hence the dilemma...

Personally, I just don't see it as a big problem, but I can certainly understand a 44 year old secret, as discussed in your intro, and a strong desire to finally share it with your husband.
TO BE or NOT TO BE? (in a diaper) - THAT IS THE QUESTION!

Seldom seen and never been caught in my diaper, Phantom...




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