Spanking As Therapy

[oddlynappied]

For a long time I have wanted to be spanked by my wife. It was something I kept deep down inside me because it was acutely embarrassing, even more than wearing diapers. It wasn’t about sex play nor was it some masochistic weirdness that I wanted pain. I’m the same as everyone else in that I really don’t want to be hurt or feel pain but still deep inside me was this chronic need to be spanked. But even as I imagined it I thought of it as a child-like experience not as some sexy adult time.

I imagined having my diaper pulled down as I stood embarrassed and silent as mom used her hand to spank me. Or I thought of going over her knee and the humiliation of that. I often imagined being lent over the edge of the bed, diaper down as my wife paddled me long and hard until I began to cry or at least felt like doing so.

When I imagine being spanked I feel a real sense of relief wash over me. For years now I’ve not really understood it nor have I sought to be spanked. It was always something I could just never have. But the need continued to burn and frustrate me immensely.

My wife was a little bit involved in my diapers and baby ways until recently when she increased her involvement considerably. Then it came up about 2 months ago about spanking. I was beyond mortified about it because she had just read an article on it. I was hopelessly transparent about this feeling of mine and I’d not felt such shame in a long time even when discussing being an adult baby with her which as you all know is like surgery without painkillers. Somehow that experience was mainstream compared to this.

She understood far more than I did and a few days later when I was just in my diaper and a baby top she took me to the spare room and pulled down my diaper and wordlessly spanked my bottom about 10 times. After it was over I looked at her and nearly cried. The emotion was overwhelming for us both and as if she could read my mind she smacked me again about the same number but a lot harder. This time the tears flowed freely for us both and for a brief moment in time I felt a release I didn’t know I was hiding.

One morning a few days later I awoke in a wet diaper since I wore one to bed and made good use of it. My wife feigned anger at my wet diaper and ‘ordered’ me to bend over the bed. She pulled down my wet diaper and fortunately dried me off and then she used a paddle on my ass for what seemed like a long time but was probably only a minute or two. It hurt a lot and by the end of it I was blubbering and even some real tears. But the tears weren’t from the pain but from the emotional release.

Since that time I’ve come to understand why I want the spankings - at least in part. My mom didn’t spank me much which at the time seemed good but as I got older made me wonder if she didn’t care quite as much as she should. When I was caught wearing diapers as a young teen there was just discussion, no spanking. When at 16 I stole diapers and underwear I was grounded, not spanked. When I’ve messed up during my life I’ve been lectured and little more.

I know that like so many of us I think like a child in some of my inner emotions and I can recall as a little boy breaking something precious and I expected a spanking but there was none. I was sent to my room and for the next few days I felt very unloved because they obviously didn’t care enough to spank me. I felt like a nobody in that house. When my older sister was spanked for something I thought less serious a week later I knew it. I was unloved. When my wife spanked me that second time all these memories flooded back.

And in my marriage I’ve screwed up and of course wasn’t spanked. It’s just not the adult thing to do. But as life goes on I realise I view a great deal of my feelings just as a child does. When I cheated on my wife once some years back she forgave me and we moved on, but I felt guilty about it and remained so. I felt guilty for things I’d said and done all throughout my life and they never really left me in part because I never paid the price for it. It’s the thinking of a child, but hey... that’s me!

Over the last year we have begun to belatedly accept that I am a child in more ways than either of us realised. Its more than diapers and baby clothes. It is how I think and react and is a big part of my emotions. When my wife spanked me that second time I felt like I genuinely deserved it - because I did.

I am getting spanked from time to time now. As I let more of my inner baby out for her to see she is feeling easier with spanking me for misbehaviour. But we both discovered something about our pasts. One night we were talking and the incident of the one-time cheating came up and it was obvious she still carried hurt from it. We’d both believed it was in the past and buried but it became obvious that it was still there in us both. To make a long story short, she spanked me. It was very, very hard and she let it all out on my ass bigtime. We are very close and we trust each other and as I laid there face down on the bed as she continued to spank me I felt loved and I felt as if I could trust her. I’m glad it was bedtime as I would not be able to sit down but even as it throbbed I felt a sense of peace.

Since then we have used spanking to help me over some things in the past. Things I did wrong and still feel shame over.

I don’t know if this helps anyone but just in case I am not alone, that is what happened to me and still is.

[DailyDi]

You should join our sister site: http://www.spankingneeds.com/board/

Lots of people there that feel they NEED spankings and Domestic Discipline.

[LILJIM]

With your age (mine too) we were raised about the time Dr.Spock came out with his book on raising kids. It said basily SPANKING was a bad way to raise kids. Dad & Mom didnot agree with it at all. You seem to have come out better than some of the kids from that time. Some got into more police trouble.(unless you just didnot say???) With your thought of spankings = love; Dad & Mom loved me alot LOL. They were from the "spare the rod spoil the child" part of that time. I find a great deal of truth in what you said about putting things behind you; but not feeling you paid for it fully. Things "said or done" still being in the back of our heads. Maybe with the way you two dealt with it now; you two can truely put it behind you.

[Bettypooh]

It is something I always wanted to explore too and just like you it is something I can hardly figure a way to bring out of myself My dream mate would see these things in me and go there without my needing to verbalize it but in reality I know I may have to at least give some hints to get what I want. That first takes someone else, and that is the biggest problem I have ATM

I didn't just get spanked as a child, we kids got the belt on a regular basis, and I am positive I don't want to go there again And I don't like pain either, but spanking and paddling has an appeal similar to how diapers did to me when I started this, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to go there someday And like diapers, I've almost completely given up in spending a lot of time trying to figure out why I want this- I just do, it's OK, and that's all that matters

Bettypooh

[erevu]

By the way oddlynappied, thank you for sharing your experience. My fiancee and I found it very fascinating.

[oddlynappied]

By the way oddlynappied, thank you for sharing your experience. My fiancee and I found it very fascinating.

thanks. I just wanted to let people know how it worked out for me. its been a surprise all the way along but im glad some found it useful. Im not a psychologist liek seemingly everyone else but if this hasnt been therapy then i certainly dont want the real thing! frankly only the wooden spoon has brought the release and freedom ive wanted. therapy never acheived anything!

bring on psychobabble!!!!!

[DailyDi]

So called talk therapy has never been helpful to me. The emotional release of a true non-erotic spanking can do wonders. I wish more professionals would accept alternative forms of therapy. We're all different, no one way to treat stress or depression works for all.

[oddlynappied]

So called talk therapy has never been helpful to me. The emotional release of a true non-erotic spanking can do wonders. I wish more professionals would accept alternative forms of therapy. We're all different, no one way to treat stress or depression works for all.

I was blown away by the power of spanking. as long as it hurt and i was in my baby clothes i felt the internal pain evaporate. we are still working on it but it has been awesome. talking has never really helped me. mutual understanding is nice but it aint a solution. paying for my 'sins' via the paddle or hand helps enormously

[Guest diaperboykcmo]

I like being spanked with my diaper on!

[oddlynappied]

When I said that spanking was therapy I meant that it was 'therapeutic' in that it helped me. Now some dunderhead wants to tell me differently. I've been to therapists who were useless but I now get my therapy on the end of a paddle bent over a bed. And it works - which means it is therapeutic, ergo it is therapy. End of discussion.

I would have thought people would be interested and relieved that someone found a release that works butinstead there is argument over a stupid word! If that is what a Arts degree does for you then I will stick with my PhD in a mathematical discipline thank you very much. At least in that field, 'partial dimensional mechanics' isnt subject to redefinition on a whim.

[Jen Harris]

I dont' know about the argument but I agree with the sentiment. I got spanked by my fiancee once and it was rather magical. Until at one point I mentioned wetting and she got upset because of it (In a way that led the spanking to stop).

One thing I do struggle with is having my fiancee be my "mommy". She doesn't want to be mother, and I really don't want to associate her with my mother - it'd be weird to have sex with "mommy". When it comes to spanking and diapers there's both a sexual and non-sexual aspect to it.

It is a great release. I wish it worked for her as well. I'd much rather her spank me soundly rather than brood and complain about something I did for days.

[DailyDi]

Conducted some wodnerful "Delete post" therapy removing the "babble" posts not related to the OP's original post, or the helpful spanking therapy convo that has followed.

Don't like it? Well... spank me!

[missyD]

Conducted some wodnerful "Delete post" therapy removing the "babble" posts not related to the OP's original post, or the helpful spanking therapy convo that has followed.

Don't like it? Well... spank me!

OOOOOH sounds like fun !

[missyD]

I will try again. I agree wholeheartedly that spanking is wonderful therapy. It lets the guilt flow away, it is sublimely erotic, and it allows a complete transfer of power to the spanker. If I have been naughty, mummy ( my partner) sends me to the corner of the kitchen, has me pull down my diapers and plastic pants. She then takes this big flat spatula and spanks me,, not too hard at first. She tells me to admit to my naughtiness, and apologize. Of course I defiantly refuse, and the intensity of the spanking increases until I totally submit, admit to my bad behaviour, and apologize. It is so cathartic, what a wonderful release! It might not be for everybody, nor qualify as "legitimate" psychological therapy, but hey, it sure is nice !. Let's face it, there are lots of things we find therapeutic - in my case fishing, gardening, or even going for a walk with my doggies is therapeutic, each in it's own way. Yes, spanking is a delicious therapy, and again in my case, I think it nicely augments the formal psychological therapy that I receive on a regular basis, cuz, well, you know, I sure don't claim to be the mental health poster child, or um baby........

[diaperpt]

oddlynappied, it sounds like you understand at least much of the 'why' when it comes to being spanked. My curiosity is why you relate being loved to being spanked. Do you have any sense of how that came to be? Just curiosity. If you don't like that question maybe we can find someone to spank us both...

[curiositykilledthecat]

meh I got my fill of beatings in already, though an occasional spanking might be fun.

[missyD]

@ curiosity, I am so sorry to hear of your beatings. It is a credit to for you to say an occasional spanking might be fun. NO child deserves to be beaten. Please accept my warm, gentle electronic hug

missy

[Guest littlerabbit]

I am also interested in using spanking as a form of therapy. I'm very stuborn with my feelings and I often bottle everything up inside. It is very difficult for me to share my worries, guilt and pain with others. I feel that if I were put over a comforting but firm lap and spanked till I was sobbing mess it would help me somehow. I have never been spanked before but I'm eager to give it a try for erotic and comfort reasons.

[rosalie.bent]

We use spanking as both a baby discipline and an aduilt therapy and motivational tool it works very very well. I am surprised by how well it works.

[kitty45]

I like to spank myself too...I usually pee in my diaper before I spank myself...or I spank myself and then force myself to pee..I need to be spanked right now but am being lazy.

[kitty45]

I need to spank myself right now... I am bad for peeing in my diapers

[rosalie.bent]

This is an intersting thread. I think many people see or experience the power of spanking yet so many are ashamed or intimidated by it. I do 'maintenance spanking' and have found it particularly powerful and effective over the last year - almost transformational.

[kitty45]

^^I do the same..

[Joanne_chan]

So called talk therapy has never been helpful to me. The emotional release of a true non-erotic spanking can do wonders. I wish more professionals would accept alternative forms of therapy. We're all different, no one way to treat stress or depression works for all.

From a personal point of view, the problem with talk based therapies wasn't the talk as at an intellectual level it made sense but it was that it stayed as just that a discourse that didn't result in either a change in thoughts or behaviour nor the sense in which one was being held to account.For me the few occasions spanking was used, it was more effective in confronting and changing behaviour.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

That is why they invented Behavior Modification aka behavior therapies, especially Cognitive Therapy and Rational-Emotive Therapy. Talk therapy gets the insight but for it to mean something in the real world things, either good or bad, or a mixture of both contingent on behaviors, have to happen to give the results of the talk therapy meaning, Contrary to what you see on television most forms of B-Mod are quite pleasant since the scientifically recognized First Principle of Behavior is "Re-inforcement increases the probability that the re-inforced behavior will occur again". Things like low-level electro-shock or loud buzzers are used only to dislodge a strongly held undesired behavior so that something else can be put in its place by the process of re-inforcement. all of this is spelled out and how it works and the whoole program is constructed by both the therapist and the client. Anyone who has been through a properly done B-mod therapy can explain to you "small steps", "successive approximation", "reinforcement schedules" and the principles of behavior as well as any therapist

In the Army, the first thing you do is make your bed. this means that you start your day with an accomplished mission so you are already one to the good

If you listen to Dave Ramsey, even discarding the religios stuff, notice that his Total Money Makover is broken into steps that have a beginning and an end. Especially significant is the "Debt Snowball": You arrange your debsts from smallest to largest, regardless of interest and pay them off in that order according to a pre-arranged realistic income-based schedule, while making the minimum payments on the others. each time you get one paid off and out of the way, that is a milestone and an accomplishment with the implication that you will get the next one done

These both reflect solid principles of behavior and would be part of a behavior modification program. In fact all education is behavior modification. My second/third grade teacher took my strong interest in space travel and turned the class into a space cadet club to encourage interest in learning and science. I knew what she was up to but I want along with it and said nothing: I agreed with her goals and it put me in the catbird seat so why buck a tailwind?