28 replies to this topic

[rosalie.bent]

This was an interesting thread and intersects a lot on what I offer in advice about children discovering an AB parent. You assume they CARE! They probably dont and if they do they most certainly DONT want to know more. In all scenarios the result is the same: status quo.

Did you ever accidentaly catch your parents making love? Did that make you do anything other than wise your brain could be erased? it is similar here. Very few will take any notice and even less will say anything about it.

[curiositykilledthecat]

You owe no explanations.

[Bettypooh]

You may not "owe" anyone anything, but remaining silent = an admission of guilt in most people's eyes. My philosophy is to say enough to clear things up but no more. They wouldn't be the first to use AB as a means of better coping with incontinence, and while it needn't go that far at least it would explain everything enough to stop further questions

"If you don't have a reason then you'd better have a good excuse!"-author unknown.

Bettypooh

[bedwetter bobby]

I believe it is your own business. If your neighbors found out you were a mass murderer perhaps you would expect them to change the way they treat you.But your laundry. Unless they are AB aware or into the scene they most likely could care less.
I have seen or heard many weird things in my life time, but it's their business.If they are worthy neighbors or friends it should change nothing. As a child I wore night diapers, a few times some friends caught a glimpse of of the laundry in the basement but said nothing, on the other hand I was always looking for a telltale sign that I had company.

[missyD]

Well. more and more, the way I look at is that if they don't like me because of that, they aren't the people I thought they were. It is much more than laundry, mind you these days. If you come into our place just about any time, you will see the stuff that you would normally see in a house with a baby. Here a paci there a paci, everywhere a........wait a minute, that is "Old MacDonald !" Okay, you might see a paci, a baby bottle or two around the sink, my blankie, my little waterproof changing pad on my computer chair ( so I don't wet my chair when I come here first thing in the morning) diaper pail, and, well one glance into my room ?
Someone will quietly ask me sooner or later, and , well, one couple who are our friends? If you want to get a message out to the whole world- just whisper to them and it will be on the national news that evening.... I'm not saying they are blabbermouths or anything....... hey wait a minute, that is exactly what I am saying.

But my friends and neighbours know me as a gentle, different sort of person, and I think they see me as the little girl in my relationship with my partner who is 9 years older than me - people who don't know us actually often ask if she is my mother. I think that is not just from the fact that I look young for my age, and vise versa, but they see the dynamic.

I'm not trying to push my lifestyle out there or anything, I am just fed up with hiding it.

One of my partner ( mummy) 's friends said they didn't think it appropriate for me to not hide it as it would make people uncomfortable. My partner was just about to agree, then all of a sudden said, "hey wait! if t tohe gay lesbian community had stayed home so as not not make people uncomfortable, we would all still be in the closet". So, I almost feel a responsibility to be an "out" AB - a representative of our community ,someone who is a nice person, who just happens to like being a baby!

[BigKidNKY]

You may not "owe" anyone anything, but remaining silent = an admission of guilt in most people's eyes.

And those same people would be regarded as "judgmental" if they leaped to the conclusion of guilt. Do we have statistics that "most people" are "judgmental"? I'm unsure on that one, but anyone judgmental would not be a good friend to keep regardless of wether you have skeletons in your closet or not.

I'm late to this thread, but think that most others have said what I would say - If they don't bring it up and continue to come around, then the likelihood is very high that they were not offended or concerned about your play things and require no explanation. If either brings up the topic then feel free to give them whatever details you feel comfortable sharing, but mostly how the lifestyle has been positive in your life. Be sure to focus on yourself and not others since that might be construed as a way to bring them into the lifestyle. By all means, let them make that decision all on their own.

[Diapers4Me]

Yup....I'd keep it quiet.

I was at my MILs cabin in the middle of nowhere in western ontario (on a bay with no road access and only 4 other houses), and was out in the screened in porch in only a diaper eating my cereal enjoying being free to wear whatever I wanted. I figured that I'd hear any boats approaching and would have TONS of time to pull on some pants if need be, or just sit down and no one would be able to see my diaper. I didn't notice one of the neighbors come around the point in a kayak! I have no idea if she saw me or not, but it scared the crap out of me. And Yes....I never said a word!

[missyD]

OOOPS Some other friends were out for the weekend and dropped in this morning (Sunday). As is often the case I was wearing my Winne the Pooh overalls over my diapers and plastic pants, with a cute, but not AB top. Now, I have never really hidden things, as I have noted before, but I do try to be discreet. I figured I was okay, the overalls don't tend to show diapers too much, and I figure they kind of know I am sort of AB in some way - I mean, they see some of my baby stuff from time to time. But this morning, I was standing there talking to them, WITH MY PACI HANGING FROM MY SHOULDER STRAP ! My partner was looking at me, making faces and pointing to her chest, and then I realized,,,,, OH NO. I was kind of moving around a lot anyway, was doing a bit of housework when they arrived, so I picked up something, left the room and came back,,,,,without my paci. They couldn't have missed it, but ,,,,, not a word was spoken. They seemed quite okay when they were visiting, I guess they know, and don't really care. How bout that................

[duckling]

i say you have very cool, friends, being an adult baby can be very loney for some off us, and wanting to be accepected in our circile off friends is very inportant too us, it's soo hard having to hide all the time. being ur self show's in soo many ways, ie, being happy and contented in the presence off others, saying this is who i am, this is how i relax, and saying i do not wish too offend anyone, putting a cute and new face on ur scene, can be very helpfull, but more importly ur happness n the end off the day. we have only one life here, maybe came back again in a new life, as a baby. hehehe.
don't worry just be urself and above all be happy.

yours sincerely,
ducklng xxx