Freedom

[RMS401]

I wish I could tell you that the story below is true. Sadly, it is not. I wrote this back in 2004, as a fantasy. I actually did show it to my wife, but even though she liked the story, she told me that it could never happen and that she could never accept my desire to wear diapers. Still, I thought I'd share.

-RMS

Could it be Christmas again already? I thought to myself on that cold, snowy day. So much had changed that I couldn’t believe a year had passed--a new job, a new house in a new city. The changes had definitely been for the better. For the most part.

It was just a few months ago that Linda and I had that big blowout and I vowed to give up diapers forever. She said she couldn’t take the secrecy anymore and it was either her or my diapers. See, she had found a stash of my diapers during our move, in a box labeled “Roger’s Stuff.” She went ballistic and the ensuing weeks were not pleasant in our home. I promised to give them up and I was committed to doing just that.

I emailed my newfound diaper discussion-group friends to explain what had happened and say a fond farewell. They understood and promised to stay together, but secretly I hoped they would miss me terribly. For the coming months I resolved to stay away from all things diaper-related: medical supply stores and certain aisles in pharmacies, certain sites on the Internet—the usual suspects. I would like to say that it was a total success, but I can admit to myself now that I felt like an alcoholic promising to never drink again but who was secretly unsure if he could ever really change.

I have learned that for people like me, diapers aren’t something you wear, they’re the best part of any day you have a chance to snuggle into one. They’re the barrier between you and the world that mistreats you. They’re the only things that make the world stop for just a minute so you can catch your breath and get your courage back. Maybe I didn’t “need” diapers, but the world would be a colder place without them and I was not looking forward to that. But my marriage was more important. Linda has been my heart and soul for over 18 years and I would never let anything get in the way of that relationship. Never.

That morning, we did all the things we do on Christmas morning. We made some coffee, said Merry Christmas and that we loved each other and excitedly got down to opening our presents. It’s funny how as you get older you really do feel it’s more blessed to give than to receive and I could hardly wait for her to open her gifts. I had been secretly buying things for her for months and felt I had gotten her the perfect gifts this year. She always says I do, but this year would be special, I could feel it.

As we opened each lovingly wrapped gift, we thanked each other with a kiss. She seemed to really love her gifts and I loved mine, but I could tell something was up. She had a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eyes as she told me which gifts to open and the order in which to open them.

Finally, we came to my last gift. It was a sweater box, but the contents felt light—far lighter than a sweater. I read the obligatory clue that had been a tradition in my family for as long as I can remember: Because I love you just the way you are. It seems so obvious now, but at the time I couldn’t imagine in a million years what could be inside.

I tore off the silver and white paper, dying to know what was inside, but when the box was open I struggled to make sense of what I was seeing and couldn’t.

“Oh my God,” I heard myself utter in a voice barely above a whisper.

In the box was a single disposable diaper. Because I love you just the way you are. The words were still ringing in my ears as I continued to absorb the meaning of the gift.

I looked at Linda and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “I love you just the way you are,” she said. “If wearing these things makes you happy, I want you to wear them.”

I could barely speak, but it hardly mattered because for once I had no words. With one gift, my wife had given me something more valuable than all the things in the world: acceptance. For the first time in years, I could feel all barriers melt away as she embraced me. It seemed like hours that she held me as I wept. The years of pain caused by self-doubt, secrecy, shame and fear suddenly poured out of me, leaving me feeling as if I had been rescued from a life of silent suffering with one simple yet profound act of kindness.

Trying to regaining at least a morsel of composure, but with the tears still streaming down my face, I asked, “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Completely,” she said. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this and I’ve come to see that these don’t change who you are. You’re still the man I married and I love you, and nothing you wear will ever change that. I don’t claim to understand it, but it would be wrong of me to ask you to be less than yourself.”

That very morning, in front of the Christmas tree in our new home, we made love with a tenderness that could only come with a lifetime of shared experiences.

“I love you more than words could ever say,” she said. “Quirks and all.”

I finally understood that here, in this new house, in this new city, I was home.

[mouilleur]

RMS, you brought tears to my eyes. I wish you all the best and remember, Christmas is just around the corner...

Take care.

[junyour]

Beautiful story. I wish other spouses or significant others could be as accepting.

[RMS401]

Thank you both. The story is an expression of my deepest desire to be accepted completely and unconditionally, and I know I'm not alone in that. Thank you for letting me share.

-RMS

[Fulldiaper]

Very touching, thank you. Please keep up the good work.

[Bonsai]

Good.

I have to make a knot somewhere to remember to bump this up for Christmas

[TheMagicDragon]

This strikes a Basic Chord in the heartstrings of DLs everywhere.

Its wierd for me - I do not like to brag since I've been through the marriage mill a few times (divorced twice) and I certainly do not wish anything remotely like that for you. I will tell you, the first two women did not every know about my fetishes. These were dissapointing relationships anyway and did not fall apart due to my fetish for "diapers". Had my heart broken twice but came through it with time. I am very very very very very (ad infinitum) very LUCKY to be able to enjoy my diaper fetish and little desires in my third marriage - basically reading this still hit me and made me teary. I really feel your plight but, being the good husband you must certainly be you are doing the right things - you didn't hide the truth, you let her read the letter.

Keep on truckin Bro!

[diaperpt]

The first part of this story seems like it had been written by me - the discovery, the rejection, the promise to set it all aside, and the failure of those attempts. I only wish the second part could be true for me as well.

Thanks for writing.

[RMS401]

The first part of this story seems like it had been written by me - the discovery, the rejection, the promise to set it all aside, and the failure of those attempts. I only wish the second part could be true for me as well.

Thanks for writing.

I'll assume you mean that my experience mirrors yours, and not that you believe I plagiarized the story. But thank you for the compliment. ;-)

-RMS

[RMS401]

This strikes a Basic Chord in the heartstrings of DLs everywhere.

Its wierd for me - I do not like to brag since I've been through the marriage mill a few times (divorced twice) and I certainly do not wish anything remotely like that for you. I will tell you, the first two women did not every know about my fetishes. These were dissapointing relationships anyway and did not fall apart due to my fetish for "diapers". Had my heart broken twice but came through it with time. I am very very very very very (ad infinitum) very LUCKY to be able to enjoy my diaper fetish and little desires in my third marriage - basically reading this still hit me and made me teary. I really feel your plight but, being the good husband you must certainly be you are doing the right things - you didn't hide the truth, you let her read the letter.

Keep on truckin Bro!

Well, I do have a problem in that I love my wife with all my heart and soul and she loves me equally, but there are worse problems to have. We have made a peace of sorts with this issue; she simply wants nothing to do with it. It's a side of me I have to hide from my partner in life, and that bothers me. But it really, really beats the alternative.

-RMS

[adot]

Really, truly gorgeous... poignant and as intense as the most extreme pornography, but for the emotions, not the loins. Kudos.

best,

A.

[RMS401]

Really, truly gorgeous... poignant and as intense as the most extreme pornography, but for the emotions, not the loins. Kudos.

best,

A.

Wow, I can think of no higher praise. Thank you, Adot.

And funny you should mention pornography, since I wrote an erotic story just yesterday. I'm not sure what the rules are about posting that kind of thing here, but I'll think about posting it soon.

-RMS

[diaperpt]

I'll assume you mean that my experience mirrors yours, and not that you believe I plagiarized the story. But thank you for the compliment. ;-)

-RMS

No plagiarism at all - just great writing that captures my own experience and feelings. I wonder how many of us on this site - or some who've left because of being found out - have experienced this sort of situation. Please do take it as a compliment - it was meant sincerely.

[dldad]

During my last marriage, my wife allowed me to wear and use diapers, even at night if I wanted. She wasn't into changing or using but wasn't against me using. But then the divorce was for other reasons and now my wife doesn't know about this side of me, but I am content to let it be a memory, and will still use this site for moral support and to allow me some sense of participation. I just hope that before I pass on that I can once again use diapers and enjoy them rather than being force to wear and not know what is happening.

[RMS401]

No plagiarism at all - just great writing that captures my own experience and feelings. I wonder how many of us on this site - or some who've left because of being found out - have experienced this sort of situation. Please do take it as a compliment - it was meant sincerely.

I knew what you meant, DiaperPT, I just thought your phrasing was funny, that's all. And I did take it as a compliment, and it is much appreciated. Stay diapered, my friend.

-RMS

[RMS401]

During my last marriage, my wife allowed me to wear and use diapers, even at night if I wanted. She wasn't into changing or using but wasn't against me using. But then the divorce was for other reasons and now my wife doesn't know about this side of me, but I am content to let it be a memory, and will still use this site for moral support and to allow me some sense of participation. I just hope that before I pass on that I can once again use diapers and enjoy them rather than being force to wear and not know what is happening.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, DL. I know what it is to not be allowed to be yourself and it's hard. But I know this about myself: you can deny your true nature for long. I'm just sayin'.

-RMS

[Eagle0769]

I don't know why I didn't read this before. Your writing of the story of how you would have had it brought tears to my eyes. Making love in front of the tree. Knowing that your wife loved you. If only from your lips to Gods ears this should go. How I wish with all my heart that this story should come true for you.

My wife did a long time ago make me her baby. But this too didn't last and it wasn't because of what I wanted but stupid reasons why we divorced. (like dldad)

Your writing was so good. I felt as if I was there. Watching you and feeling so happy for you. I know its only a story and maybe it will continue. But what a wonderful story for you to share with us. Thanks Baby Jay NY

[RMS401]

I don't know why I didn't read this before. Your writing of the story of how you would have had it brought tears to my eyes. Making love in front of the tree. Knowing that your wife loved you. If only from your lips to Gods ears this should go. How I wish with all my heart that this story should come true for you.

My wife did a long time ago make me her baby. But this too didn't last and it wasn't because of what I wanted but stupid reasons why we divorced. (like dldad)

Your writing was so good. I felt as if I was there. Watching you and feeling so happy for you. I know its only a story and maybe it will continue. But what a wonderful story for you to share with us. Thanks Baby Jay NY

Thank you so much, Jay. I hoped this would find an audience. It's not this forum's typical fare, but I'm glad that it has resonated with at least a few people. I write for a living, but in my free time I get to write things that mean something--to me, anyway. It's wonderful to know that others like it too.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.

-RMS

[oliver d]

I wish this story was true for all of us still in hidding and for us whose partners dont want to accept or tolerate that being AB/DL is a part of who we are

[Guest diaperboykcmo]

Very nice story!

[Eagle0769]

I wish this story was true for all of us still in hidding and for us whose partners dont want to accept or tolerate that being AB/DL is a part of who we are

I totally agree.

Eagle/Baby Jay

[RMS401]

I totally agree.

Eagle/Baby Jay

I just can't express how much better my life would be if this were true. It would truly be a life-altering event. But, alas . . .

-RMS

[oliver d]

thank you ,youre story inspired and helped me to come out to my wife of 17yrs she accepts and tollerates it but wont take part

[RMS401]

thank you ,youre story inspired and helped me to come out to my wife of 17yrs she accepts and tollerates it but wont take part

Oh, the irony of it all. I'm so glad to hear that this story has helped you, Oliver. It may not be the level of acceptance that we all dream of, but it's a start and more than many of us will ever get. Wear one for me!

-RMS

[bobbiesueram]

I loved your story so much it was very moving. Rms I'm sorry your wife will not let you at least wear diapers to bed or around the house. My wife is the total the other way. I have been in diapers my whole life and I really lucked out with my wife. She takes very good care of Bobbie Sue and I take very good care of her needs. She loves oral sex and I love giving it to her and we do this just about every night.. She gets me ready for bed every night with a hot tub of bubble bath. May hair washed with J&J shampoo then I stand and my wife shaves my legs pubic area and my bum. Then comes the rinse off and she starts to rub my stiffy to get my motor running. Then comes my baby doll nighty satin with matching crotch less panties. Then it's off to bed in our over large California king size bed. I get into the satin sheets and my wife climbs on top of me. I start off on her strapped on 8" boner taking her deep into my throat. After a while she pulls it out and I move to her beautiful hairless kitten she is soaking wet and so very slick. I move my mouth to her kitten and I take her for a ride that last close to an hour and she has cum at least 3 or 4 times. I then get onto all 4's and she enters my rear and humps me till I cum. I'm so spent I can hardly get out of bed to the changing table. She cleans me and I clean her. She removes my nighty and she puts a clean fresh night time pre-folded diaper under me and then pink plastic panties then my Minnie Mouse nighty and its off to my canopy bed all in pink.

I wish you could have just one night like mine. I'm so in love with my snooks I don't know how to act. I do has she wishes and give her what she wants and she treats me the same. My wife knows all about my transgendered side and demands that big girl clothes are on so are panties and when I'm in diapers then I'm in my little girl state and must sleep in my little girls room. I never ever call her mommy because she's not my mommy, but she calls me Bobbie sue because I wear my diapers 24-7. She has done this out in public many times and she dose correct me also when where out. I have lived in heaven this whole life of mine.