Singles Scene

[DailyDi]

thanks to Wetvnyl for this great question!

[Codymoogle]

Personally, I think the second option is best out of the two. But you know, as far as AB/DL, I think people should stop searching so hard - your right one may just come along when you least expect her/him. Just a thought.

- C.J.

[thekid1]

i would defiantly go with option # 2

[PPBear]

Consider the numbers, there is a far greater chance you will get along with another abdl well enough to form a viable relationship than it is someone you get along with will be an abdl. Be up front about who & what you are right from the start, it wont go away. oh... another thing, figure out what you really want and seek that out, don't try and dress it up in a daddies camoflage when it's your butt that wants to be diapered. My advice is to wear diapers on every date & resist trying to explain it at all. Be open to trying different ways of dealing with it. It seems we mostly end up on our own and seem quite content to be that way, maybe friends is all you really seek anyway.

Be yourself so that your true love can find you.

[belinda_sue_fox]

Who cares as long as they groovey a lot.

[Pull-ups man]

definatelly num. 2. it really is impotant for me to have similar interests on a non DL basis... i dont plan to reveal this to her just yet, I have a transitional period right now... great idea fro the poll btw

[Pipsqueak]

Well if you're in the search phase, why not try both directions at the same time? Mr. or Ms. Right can turn up in the unlikeliest of places. Why limit your opportunities by going in only one direction?

[diaperwearntigger]

For myself, I chose to keep within the ABDL scene. I felt that finding someone into the scene was much easier than trying to make someone accept the AB side of me. Maybe its because I personally tried doing that first before deciding to find someone into the scene... seemed to work for me... my DL daddy and I have been together for 4 yrs and married for 5 months....

However, everyone needs to do what they feel is best for themselves. I have talked to so many ABDL friends who have SO others who are not into the scene and are still trying years later to get them to either accept or participate or both in their lives... it just makes me believe I chose the best way for me.

Also, what worked for us is that we got to know each other on a personal level first. We were friends first before even trying the daddy/baby thing. I think we didn't start the daddy/baby side of things until about 3 months later. We have and still do, say that the diapers are just a bonus to our relationship. It defenitely not the focus of your relationship. Our relationship is not based on diaper or the daddy/baby thing, but on the things we like and enjoy doing together and as adults.

[nitrous]

Personally, I think the second option is best out of the two. But you know, as far as AB/DL, I think people should stop searching so hard - your right one may just come along when you least expect her/him. Just a thought.

- C.J.

I completely agree with you. I personally would rather be with someone who I can hang out with, have fun with, talk with, and laugh with. I think a relationship is more important than one's life style or fetish.

[master jon]

I completely agree with you. I personally would rather be with someone who I can hang out with, have fun with, talk with, and laugh with. I think a relationship is more important than one's life style or fetish.

I htink that if u love someone u can live without certain things even this

[wetvinyl]

....oh, another thing-- figure out what you really want and seek that out, don't try and dress it up in a daddies camoflage when it's your butt that wants to be diapered.

Good advice, Bear... I'll admit that as a 40-year DL and 10-year diaper-net surfer, I've (almost) come to the point of giving up finding a lady to privately diaper-play with... My survey suggestion was just to seek consensus on the question.

Yes-- at MY most basic level, I've always wanted to be with a lady that meshed with my RL interests, and also be willing to put me into a diaper whenever I wanted. (I'm not a 24/7 guy, and have no desire to be.)

Looking for that lady within the subset of the ABDL comm would eliminate that most difficult issue to be addressed... just an easy way out. Intant (and low-risk) gratification.

But then, OMG-- what if she turns out to be staunchly Repubulican and I'm staunchly Democratic... or she's a Yankees fan and I'm Red Sox... uh-oh!

But on the psuedo-Daddy thing-- Hey... It's NO comprimise of my CURRENT wishes to look for a lady that wants to be babied and Daddied, as well as addressing my own wants.

After 40+ DL years, my solitary DL-play has become somewhat uninspired, and I've become curious about other tangents of the ABDL world. Altho I haven't ever had the opp to be a RL Daddy, I'm genuinely curious about it. Even without prior RL Daddy experence, I am nevertheless genuinly curious about being a Daddy for a babygirl.

It's NOT a compromise of my DL values. It's a genuine personal wish to explore the larger ABDL world in a way that keeps my own DL side fresh and relevent for my own enjoyment... and possibly introduce me to a LTR with a ABDL-aware gal.

If I could be a Daddy for her... and if she could occasionally diaper me as well... of course hell yeah, that WOULD be my ideal.

But if she only wants to be Daddied, no diapering me? Hey, that's fine too. (I figure she'd be ok with me diapering myself, if/whenever I wanted.)

In either case, I'd be sharing my diaper-love in RL with an ABDL lady of my choosing; the start of something ultimate for me. The awkward confession would be unnessessary; cut straight to everything else.

But yes, Bear-- I agree that your point is entirely valid: At the end of the day, no one can (or should) try to diminish their OWN personal fantasies, in search of a mate.

Summary: Diaper-play is just a SMALL part of ANY relationship, no matter how important diapers are to us.

After the initial meeting glow wears off, are you still gonna wanna stay with that person you've found-- even though their snoring keeps you awake at night?

wv

[Guest diapered469]

I picked the first choice, even tho I know I likely will (or already have) found my lifemate via route #2. Right now, my gf and I have been together almost 4 years, yet she still has yet to fully indulge me in my diaper/baby side. She wants to hitch, but I'm reluctant because she refuses to change a wet diap or even acknowledge that I like to wear them and would like her to take part with me. My communication skills aren't the best, but I don't really know what else to say beyond "I want to be treated like a baby and/or treat you like one." I love her in (most) every other way, but I won't spend the rest of my life with someone who refuses to roleplay with me. I also know, however, that finding a girl into this and building a relationship from there would be mighty difficult.

[Guest diaperdz]

I am a DL and I like to wet and mess my diapers. I would like to find a partner that likes to wear, wet, and mess also or possibly be incontinent. I don't think I am going to find a girl like that at the local hang out. So I am stuck looking for somebody into the scene and hopefully fits in with my non DL interests also.

[langtab]

I actually don't want an AB/DL partner at all... It would be too weird for me. The thought of a Mommy figure etc fits into my AB side but I honestly don't think I ever actually "Want" that situation either.

For me AB/DL is personal. Something I do under times of stress. And by do, I mean sit around with a blanky watching tv, reading a book, or on the computer. I think AB/DL is a mental thing for me. I just need to regress mentally by myself for an hour or so and then I go back to being 'normal'.

With this being said it would be an obvious choice for me to pick #2 but probably not even mention the AB/DL thing to my partner.

[boy ricky]

I say number 1. If that doesnt work after awhile then go to number 2.

Number 2 can get pretty stinky after you tell them or if you are discovered and you did not tell them about that part of your life or if you have to spend so much time hiding. Ask some of the people on here that wish their current partner would take part. Most would say they want it. Either their partner knows and wont take part, doesnt know and you have to hide everything,. Its easier to start with number 1 where you start with some interests that are important to you. It worked for me!

[diapers aeternus]

I may only be 33 - but from my 23 years of wearing diapers, option #2 simply does not work. All of my relationships have ended because of my diapers & wetting problems. I don't consider myself AB or DL - but notwithstanding, I am starting to look for a woman who wears diapers herself, or who at the very least is familiar enough and can accept without problem that diapers are a permanent part of my life (and therefore hers).

[DiaperBoyKR]

Honestly, I have to say that I picked option 2, mostly because I think that ultimately any relationship has to be based in interests above and beyond a fetish. Any relationship that is based in sex or sexual interests alone will not last.

That being said though, I would probably be the first to admit that if I found someone who was interested in similar things to me AND was into the ABDL scene.....I dont think I would complain too loudly.

[pctrasher]

Too bad there isn't a secret option in between both options, I'd choose that. It's really important (for me) to have someone who is compatable with my personality, and it's equally important for that person to accept me as an ab/dl. I could not have a relationship that doesn't have both qualities.

The main reason for that is because this fetish/lifestyle is intertwined throught me more so than any other feature of my personality. So the way to my heart is acceptance or participation with my ab/dl side. But a relationship based entirely on that has no body to it, we can sit around and stare at eachother in our diapers and that's about it. I do have a rather adaptive personality, but I still have those few things that define me for me and for a relationship to work I need her to be compatable with me as a person.

So the way I have done things in the past was to get to know the person in the past and get into a real relationship with them and when things start to get somewhat serious I tell them and if they accept we continue the relationship and if not I'd probably end it and keep it to a friendship.

But luckily I don't have to worry about any of this anymore since I've already found someone I want to have a future with. And we've been together for a little over 2 years.

[phogendpf]

I picked Number one. Everyone here who picked number 2 said they wanted to have the same interests. Well I got "news" for everyone who picked number 2. Diapers are an interest! Its the biggest interest for most if not everyone in here. Getting an outsider to accept you wearing diapers is one thing, but getting them to wear diapers is even harder. It would be alot easier to find someone who is an abdl or incontinent and then see if you have other similar interests. I think number one just makes for a Longer Lasting relationship. Number two is likely to end in divorce down the line. If only meeting another abdl or incontinent person was easier. Ive tried this site, diapermates, diaperspace, still no luck but Im not giving up hope. Any abdl girls out there? Hit me up!

[Eric D]

I picked Number one. Everyone here who picked number 2 said they wanted to have the same interests. Well I got "news" for everyone who picked number 2. Diapers are an interest! Its the biggest interest for most if not everyone in here. Getting an outsider to accept you wearing diapers is one thing, but getting them to wear diapers is even harder. It would be alot easier to find someone who is an abdl or incontinent and then see if you have other similar interests. I think number one just makes for a Longer Lasting relationship. Number two is likely to end in divorce down the line. If only meeting another abdl or incontinent person was easier. Ive tried this site, diapermates, diaperspace, still no luck but Im not giving up hope. Any abdl girls out there? Hit me up!

phogendpf, you do not cease to amaze me on a multitude of levels - albeit in an a slightly amusing way.

Diapers are an interest, true, but the biggest? at least I can only speak for myself and not for others, but for me diapers are a MINOR INTEREST... it is something I like to do OCCASIONALLY not daily, not every day... sometimes not at all.

The list of things in my life being FAR MORE IMPORTANT than diapers ever could be is LONG. Long indeed ... and if I'd to rate diapers for their importance in my life on a scale of 1 to 100 - where 1 is the most important and 100 is not important at all I'd rate them at 98.5 .... I have been wearing and wanting to wear since I was 5 ... now I'm close to 28... that's let me say roughly 23 years... that's longer than you have been alive. I have had times where I willingly did put my diaper stuff aside for almost 5 years - and I didn't have the slightest problem with this. (That was when I spent time with the military...).

It's a fun thing for me, something that feels good, and something which brings me pleasure - but so do many other things in my life.

it's not all diapers.

so if tomorrow I'd have to put diapers aside or even give it up for a good reason, I'd do just that.

so for me it is far more important to have a gf whom I can trust, who is understanding and first and foremost and independent grown up person. We (me and my GF) share many interests, but not all... I like rock climbing and mountaineering, she doesn't... so that's something I do either alone or with friends...

if the only single thing of importance to you is diapers and a "girlfriend" in diapers then that's quite sad - there's so much more to life and love than just a fetish for diapers... diapers are fun and for some they're much more - but most will agree that there's more to life and more to a partner than just the sharing in one simple fetish.

get the point?

[Baby Bethany]

I picked Number one. Everyone here who picked number 2 said they wanted to have the same interests. Well I got "news" for everyone who picked number 2. Diapers are an interest! Its the biggest interest for most if not everyone in here. Getting an outsider to accept you wearing diapers is one thing, but getting them to wear diapers is even harder. It would be alot easier to find someone who is an abdl or incontinent and then see if you have other similar interests. I think number one just makes for a Longer Lasting relationship. Number two is likely to end in divorce down the line. If only meeting another abdl or incontinent person was easier. Ive tried this site, diapermates, diaperspace, still no luck but Im not giving up hope. Any abdl girls out there? Hit me up!

Why is number 2 "likely to end in divorce"? I've been with my wife for 17 years and she accepts my AB side. I know lots of guys that are AB and have great marriages. Yeah, some girls will dump you when they find out, but many don't mind/like it/or don't, but can live with it because they love you!

When I was your age, I also thought I would never find a girl that would accept it (this was before the net). I thought that only guys do this, and girls will be repulsed. I told one and she was, and another and she just said "fine, if that's what you like." You stand a better chance if you are honest with them, if you lie and your wife finds out (which she will sooner or later) then that would stand a better chance of ending your marriage.

You could just look around for someone who is AB/DL or incontinent, but that really narrows the field my friend. Up to you, but I would just be honest.

Just one bit of advice, try not to see this fetish as a problem in your life. I see lots of guys on here who are making it a demon.

Relax, it's only a bloody kink. Most people have a little something they like, how many guys like stockings or high heels? If you see it as a sordid little secret to be hidden away and ashamed of, then why will your gf see it different? Have fun with it, if you can have a good laugh about it and see it as harmless fun the girl probably will too.

Be bold and go for it!

Beth

[FretaBWet]

I picked door #1. I know from my lifetime that diapers are always going to be a pert of my life regardless of how I feel about them at any given time. There's no way I'm going to go through the rest of my life hiding this from a significant other. It would make me feel like our relationship was a lie. I do know however that I'm an adventurous and open minded person so whatever interests this person wanted me to try would be great. As for my other interests besides diapers, I would not have any problem participating alone or even giving some up. I can easily see telling my so I'm going skiing on Saturday but can see the problems saying I'm going to put on a diaper and go to the mall without you. As a realist I can also see me spending the rest of my life without an so and consider that the more likely possibility.

Hugs,

Freta

[sarah_ab]

So i picked number one. Seem twice as many people (so far) have picked number two. I agree with the points made by both people.

Being an AB is a sexual fetish for me, which makes a difference i think in the motivations for which to chose. I think in a relationship what is going to involve intimacy it is important for there to be a high level of compatibility and of course open mindedness in regards to the other persons interests and needs. Because AB/DL while growing in popularity is not as mainstream as say light bondage or role play, it seemed it would be easier for me to fnd someone who already had an interest and then go from there.

Its like going to a sports bar to meet someone, usually if you are both there, you know you have an interest in sports, but that doesn't mean you will be compatible anywhere else in life. The trick is to meet as many people as you can until you find the one you click with. Its like that in any scenario, bar, at your favourite coffee shop, at a house party, on an ab/dl website. Sure most people there have some interest in the same sorts of things, but that doesn't mean you are going to be compatible everywhere else.

It seems like people who answered both one and two are arguing this same point. The reason i chose number one was because it worked for me. Being AB is certainly not the most important thing to me, not even in the top ten, however it is something i greatly enjoy participating in with another person. And i felt it was a quality i would want someone i dated to have. I went on dates with people who did not have this interest and things went well, we had similar interests but we just never clicked. I put an ad up on the old diapermates personal site and talked with lots of people, some we had similar interests others we didn't, but i kept at it until i found someone i clicked with.

It was nice, because i never had that worry in the back of my mind, how was i going to tell thsi person i wanted them to put me in diapers. He already knew i wanted that based on my profile, and so we could both devote all our time to getting to know each other on other levels, but without this nagging question in the back of our minds holding us back.

I've been with my boyfriend and daddy for a year a half now. We have loads of interests outside being baby and Daddy, and do all sorts of regular couple activities, but its nice to know, when i want him to put me in a diapie and cuddle with me, he's open and willing and excited for the idea.

[spoonchicken]

Personally,I consider the question moot. I stopped dating / hoping / trying / caring almost 15 years ago. It's been even longer since I got lucky without going downtown and "paying for it" . What's the point ? IRL, people are just mean and mean-spirited . Nice guys really do finish last . At least women on this site don't have to "worry" about me in particular.

[upseydaisy]

I don't mind either way. With me I wear for need anyways so they will need to cope with me in diapers 24/7. Having said that it would be easier if they knew about AB/DL.