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    • 63. My Unexpected Bonus Once Tess was out of the door, I turned my mind back to our plans for Christmas. I had the dates that my little would be away now, and I doubted there was anything I could do to change her plans at this stage. So we would need to reschedule the day of regression play to before she went. That gave us less than a week, which would certainly make the process harder. However, I was confident in my ability to organise any event quickly and efficiently; that was one of the things that made me sure I was destined to be a little’s Mommy, even before I remembered Tess and knew she was the one I would be nurturing. The big one in that kind of relationship needed to be confident, assertive, playful, and organised; four areas I excelled in. Once Tess was gone, I quickly finished getting myself ready, and jumped in the truck. I had things to sort out this morning, especially now I needed to make Christmas come early. I didn’t need to worry about work; especially now that Reznor owed me for taking on some of his work last Saturday. He would cover for me if Jessop was in before I arrived. I drove down to Pine Ridge, and parked at the side of Brock Street. I had stopped here so many times, to ambush Ffrances for a quick fumble when she was on the way to work. This time it was different; I walked over to the hedges I’d seen her emerge from so many times. It was strange, but in all the time we’d been together, I hadn’t actually visited her at home. She lived in Pine Ridge somewhere, but I didn’t know if her apartment would be somewhere in sight of work or not. I could only hope. “Hoping to follow me home?” her voice surprised me as I peered out through the gap in the hedge. As expected, it was a residential cul-de-sac. I guessed that the lack of Ffrances’s car anywhere in sight meant that she had walked here, while there was plenty of space to park a car at the end of the little road. So she probably lived a few hundred yards away, where walking would be quicker than starting up the car. Unless she had a garage, of course. “No, how about I bundle you in the back of my car, and take you back to my place?” I joked. And then the serious thought: “Tess is being weird again. You know I said she didn’t want to talk about the details for plane tickets and all that?” “Yeah. It was only last night. So she admitted she wants to stay? Is she asking if Spike can crash for Christmas?” “No! No, what world does that even make sense in? A guy like that, she knows we’re not going to be so…” I paused, and took a deep breath. That wasn’t the issue. “She’d know better than something like that. But anyway, she’s tried to do it herself. Doesn’t want me to check the details or anything. Some of those forms can be a real pain, but she’s sure. Like she feels she’d be letting me down if she asked for help, she has to do it all herself, you know? Well, she told me now she’s sent it off. But if she’s made even a small mistake on the visa, or the declarations, they won’t let her board the flight. She’d be so broken up. So I hope it’s right. But…” “But refusing help is a problem, right?” Ffrances always knew where I was coming from, it was like she was reading the words off the back of my head. “She feels like she has to be an adult even if she doesn’t want to. You think that she’s finding it harder to find her littlespace?” “Yeah. She… she acted like the hypnosis helped. And after we treated her like a little one for a day, she was smiling and grateful for the next few days, even if she felt obliged to deny it. But maybe that only lasts so long. I’ve given her a pacifier, and she said that helps, but I don’t know if it’s enough. I think she feels like she can’t be little, because she has too many responsibilities. She needs another chance to play, I think. To remind her there’s nothing wrong with being a little.” “I know someone else like that,” she said. I heard a faint sound while she was talking, her phone vibrating, but she pulled it out of her pocket with one hand and didn’t look at it yet. “Definitely interested in being little, but can’t imagine abandoning their adult responsibilities. Responsibilities they shouldn’t even have. I want to help them both, if I have to move heaven and earth to do it. But the Christmas plan runs into a logistical problem. When’s she going?” “Thursday. In the evening. I can get the tree, the decorations, and everything. Maybe we offer her a chance for a ‘proper family Christmas’ before she goes? Regression, presents, proper feast. You know the kind of thing. There should be time later in the day. I mean, I know there’s some old-fashioned families who have a full roast dinner at lunchtime on Christmas day, so if we did that we’d be leaving the evening free for her flight.” “Okay. I don’t know how much you’re willing to cook. And remember I’ll be little too, so I won’t be able to help you.” “You don’t need to–” “I told you, it’s not a problem. It’s my choice, right? Not yours.” “Okay,” I conceded. “If Tess really wants to have a little sister, and if there’s nobody else you can find. How about your colleague?” “Hmm?” “You said you know another little. Someone we’ve both met, you said. But our neighbours aren’t the type, and we’ve barely spoken to them. It has to be somebody from your work, right? Someone I met at that charity picnic.” “You know the people at work aren’t the only people I know, right?” She said it like she was being sarcastic, but those words could only make me worry. Not just because she was evading my question, when having another volunteer would have been so helpful. But because she’d said it was someone I’d met, and the only time I’d spoken to her friends at all was meeting a gaming group in an old comic shop. Not the kind of people I wanted my little associating with. And perhaps she sensed my nervousness, because she added: “Someone you met first.” Then I could be a little calmer. I’d been thinking back to that picnic, but if I’d actually been paying attention, I realised that I’d brought my girlfriend along to my office party last Christmas, where she had attracted a lot of compliments on her outfit and her wit. But I was sure nobody had mentioned anything like littlespace there; it was a professional event, and we hadn’t drunk enough to bring up embarrassing personal preferences. But perhaps she had exchanged numbers with someone when I didn’t notice? Or someone needed therapy, that was possible. I did work in an industry that was somewhat famous for leading to breakdowns among those who cared too much about the company. If they’d been referred to a shrink at PRMCT, it was quite possible Ffrances would have recognised them; and that would give them a reason to be talking about ways to relieve stress. But…  there was another little on the Upper Ashfields site, and I hadn’t noticed? I found that even harder to believe. I had a natural gift for recognising people with a dominant or submissive streak; I know know within a few minutes of talking to someone new whether they would enjoy that kind of thing. That was how I’d found Ffrances so easily; maybe I’d been the first person to approach her already knowing what would turn her on. And it was just the same for littles; it was obvious in the way they walked, the way they talked. I’d known Tess would be a perfect little as soon as I saw her face, even before she realised it herself. So how could one have been working on the same site as me without me noticing? Maybe Ffrances was wrong, that was possible, even if it would be so disappointing at this stage. Or it was one of my neighbours; but who? They were mostly older people, too old to have any thoughts of childhood. One other option popped into my mind. The fourth ex-Mrs Heeling was a young woman, way younger than her then-husband, and dressed even younger. I’d put it down as him trying to prove how young and virile he still was, but perhaps she could have been expressing another side of her personality. I was sure she’d tagged along to a bunch of company events with him. Had Ffrances gotten talking to her at last year’s Christmas party, fellow spouses, while I talked Ken’s ear off about progress on a report he was supposed to be delivering to management the following week? I could see that being possible. “Was it Barb–” I started, but Ffrances held up a finger for quiet, quickly reading a message on her phone. “Anyway!” she said. That was a line in the sand; she didn’t want to tell me what someone else had said in confidence. But I was sure if it was true, I would be able to find out by careful interrogation of Ken the next time he happened to be in the office. “Enough about other people’s secrets. Tess sent a message. She’s asking if she can have something extra special for a Christmas present. And with so little time, she’s found the courage to come right out and ask if I can hypnotise her again. So I think any more planning will have to revolve around what she’s going to ask for. She might already have ideas in mind. But I’ll do my best to merge our plans, after you already put so much effort into it.” “That’s great,” I smiled. “So we didn’t need to worry about finding her a little friend after all.” “You never know, she could want something that takes two. Maybe that’s why she left it until a special occasion before bringing it up; she knows it’s a big ask for you after last time, and doesn’t realise there’s another option.” “I’m not being regressed,” I told her again. “Not unless there’s no other way she will do it. And you’re not either.” “Why don’t we leave that decision until she actually says what she wants? I’ll text her back, see if she’s more comfortable talking to me, or to both of us together. But there’s not much else for us to talk about now.” The conversation had taken quite some time, but she still found time to bite my neck and push me backwards into the hedge before she completed her walk to work. By the time we were done I was sure she would be late; and I felt like it would have been disrespectful if I didn’t at least stop for a shower before work and work the pieces of orange leaves out of my hair.       I wonder if you can guess any better than Gabby can 😛 Who do you think Ffrances is talking about?
    • I am paranoid about not having a change of nappies with me. So much so that I always carry two spares. I travel to NZ every year from the UK and my carry on bag has about six nappies to change into. My bags have been opened on several occasions displaying my (slightly ABDL) nappies for all to see and I don’t care, I would rather be dry!!!
    • 71. The Careless Child Tess and Tami chatted about their plans for the holidays on the way to school. It was probably the same conversation she could have had with anyone; but it passed the time. His family didn’t do much, but he was happy to exchange gifts with all his friends at school. Tess reached into her bag, and offered a cigar-shaped parcel that proved to be a plastic tie clip. It had been one of the cheapest she got for anyone, but she knew that Tami’s girlfriend had made a couple of unflattering comments about the way his tie flapped around in the wind, so she thought he would appreciate it. Even if they’d only spoken once a day over the last few months, they were starting to be good friends now. The gift she got in return was a weird rubber thing that turned out to be phone holder with a wrist strap; to guard against dropping it on the floor of the bus again. They were coming up to the edge of Raybridge by then, and Tess shifted position in her seat. She’d just finished her coffee, so she stowed the travel mug in the top of her bag and pulled it closed. She had left it pretty late to sort out gifts for all of her friends, but she felt good to know that it was the last day now, and everything was going according to plan. Her only worry was that Spike would be alone with his parents for a week, and she didn’t know if any of his other friends had parents understanding enough to let him crash. But now she couldn’t help him either, so her presence made little difference. After Christmas, she decided, would be different. If he was out of home and afraid, he could stay with her. The spare room opposite hers was much less full of boxes than it had been, presumably because Ffrances had been helping to sort out the junk now. Gabby might object to having a boy stay over, but there wasn’t anything practical she could do to stop him. She certainly wouldn’t be able to physically extract him from the house, and Tess was going to make it very clear that giving one of her closest friends a place to stay was not negotiable. If all else failed she could appeal to Ffrances, but that was still a last resort. While Gabby made a point of doing whatever her girlfriend said, Tess could see that making every decision wasn’t really something that Ffrances particularly wanted. She needed a break from responsibility too. Letting Spike visit would risk him finding out about Tess’s problem. But she was prepared to do that, and she told herself that she had the courage. If she hadn’t got over the problem by then. It didn’t seem likely now, no matter how much she wanted it to. But she could still hope. She had packed a couple of the overnight diapers in the bottom of her clothes bag, just to be safe while she was visiting her parents, and she would be able to get more from any pharmacy once she arrived. But her bedwetting had started after her parents left; so if stress had any part in it, she might find that she was back to normal when she got back there. If so, that would be a valuable clue in working out how to stop this once and for all. And if not, she knew that she would need to see a doctor. She already had already looked up a number to call; a clinic where she didn’t know the siblings of any of the nurses or admin staff, so there was no chance anyone else would find out what she was in for. She needed discretion. But that was all a plan for the future. Everything neatly planned, just in case, but she was quietly confident that she would be back to normal once her surroundings changed again. “So what do you think about Jackson?” Tami asked, and Tess realised she had briefly tuned him out while lost in her own thoughts. That was something that didn’t used to happen so much, as well. She really needed to regain her focus, and her confidence, if she was going to prove she was living comfortably in the absence of her family. “Sorry, I didn’t catch– oh, crap!” Tess almost yelled as a realisation hit her. “I just remembered… somebody I need a gift for. I’ll go to the supermarket before school, catch you later.” She grabbed her bag and ran awkwardly to the front of the bus, hoping that she wasn’t too late. The bus would take at least five minutes getting around the one way system once it reached the other side of Raybridge, so she wasn’t delaying her journey too much. If she ran, she could reach the back gate just in time to not be late. If she was lucky. There were a couple of younger boys waiting to get on the bus at the corner of Serena Lane, and she dashed out to the confusion of the driver while they were getting on. Then she darted across the corner of the playing field to reach the back of ShopQuik, a tacky local supermarket. There was a sparse gift selection there, barely enough to convince someone that you hadn’t forgotten them completely, but that wasn’t really what Tess was after. Beyond a half dozen aisles of mixed groceries, most of them budget brands, she was running as fast as possible towards the tiny café where many local traders stopped to get cheap mass-produced sandwiches on the way to work. There was a fridge full of sandwiches and pastries, a selection of cakes under a class cover, and the counter where a bored-looking barista would stand between a coffee machine and a microwave. And at the far end of the counter, a door where a sign bearing a couple of instantly recognisable stick figures. Tess glared at the coffee machine as she passed. It wasn’t to blame; it was her who had unthinkingly downed at least three cups before leaving the house this morning. She had been so focused on the dull throbbing behind her eyes that she didn’t give a thought to the pressure in her bladder. She reached the toilet door and hit it with a thud. Not a second too soon, she thought, before she realised that the door wasn’t moving. Somewhere behind her, she could hear a member of staff clearing their throat. They were about to tell her that the restroom was only for customer use, and wouldn’t be opened until the café started serving; half past nine on Fridays. She’d completely forgotten the odd irregularity here, despite there being separate signs outside the building listing opening times for the shop and café. Almost crying in desperation, knowing that she had to find somewhere closer than the school, she turned around and headed back across the park. There were other shops close by, and it was quicker to cut across the park than to walk around the outside on the street. There were one or two little cafés, but they mostly did food to take out with one or two tables on the pavement for anybody who wasn’t on their way somewhere else. Raybridge wasn’t a big town; nobody would be here for longer than it took to do whatever they came for. Would any of those places let her use the bathroom? It wasn’t likely; she would have to stop and ask, and after so much coffee she knew that she couldn’t hold it that long. There was no way she would have been able to make it to school at this rate. Tess wasted precious seconds thinking about where to go, but still running across the grass in the hope that she’d chosen the right direction. When she realised, she couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of that first. There was a little brick building on the corner of the park; a tiny outhouse that they had to have in order to satisfy some dumb law before the local under-13 hockey team could play there. It was the only building on a park that was otherwise just two grassy fields separated by a sad clump of trees, so it was hard to believe she’d not thought of it. But then, she’d never spent time in Raybridge unless she was with someone who lived nearby. And she’d never left it so late to realise that she needed to go before. Had relying on diapers at night somehow weakened her bladder, or was this just another sign of the same stress? The worries flashed across her mind as she ran along the wooded area. She could see the tiny brick building now, about the same size as the burger van that sometimes parked beside it, but there had never been a more welcome sight. As long as it hadn’t been trashed again, she would be fine. And if she could actually make it. But as she felt the pressure inside her release, she knew that it was already too late.
    • The one I'm using is a free app called Bed Wetting Calendar. I use it on Android, but it looks like they also have it on iOS. I like that it's very customisable in terms of templates, icons, and backgrounds. Would highly recommend it! I've shown below what I've customised my app to look like on the base screen.  There's another app that I haven't experimented with much which also seems really good called DiapStash. This one is more for day-to-day wearing rather than specifically at night, but it can also be used for bedwetting tracking.   
    • Where about are you? One rule I have is that when you refer to my poop, you refer to it as gurr, which is what I have always thought of it since I was two years old and made up the word.
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