kruserky
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From the technical aspect, very well written. From the content aspect, disturbing. I think I've read enough torture for one story.
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I concur with CS, as far as being used over and over again, but I also agree that it has been well written thus far. A well written story can follow a familiar premise and still be entertaining as long as you give it character. I look forward to see some additions.
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I find the premise interesting enough, but the story, in it's present format, is less than easy to read. A bit of dialogue inserted into a vague story is tough to read. A little suggestion, choose a tense like past tense and write it from a perspective of a character. Not trying to criticize, just a suggestion.
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Pretty strong story, thus far, just make sure you start taking a bit of time to do a once over and check the spelling errors and I also noticed a few punctuation errors, as well... Not a big deal. Good job.
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Lol, take pity. I'll tell you what, if I get "A Change for Naomi" finished I'll take a look at it, and maybe try writing an addition. I wouldn't expect any time soon based on the fact I don't get much time to write anymore, but I'll take a look at the possibility.
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Don't worry about it, butI wouldn't expect anyone to start writing an addition to it.
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Please god no. Lonewolf writing a story would be be like trying to translate aramaic...
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I concur, spectrumshade. Lonewolf, no one asked you to JUST write it. So stop being a spaz. For all you know cmc could be the next great writer on this board.
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Cnc, try writing it yourself. Don't be afraid. You'll be fine, and you can't be any worse than some others... Just kidding, but give it a try.
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Is it just me or is this a DL post, not AB? Stay in those threads for comments of sub posts
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Wow this an, unnecessarily hostile post. Good lord. Who cares whether its true and who cares whether he believes it or not. Get the hell over it
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I think this story is a goner... Hope I'm wrong, but it seems to be a safe bet.
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Not the most original, with the drugged regression, but interesting none the less. Good job
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I've really enjoyed this story so and hope you keep it going. Nice pace as well.
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I am inpressed with how well you structure your story, but I admit they are a bit on the distressing side. I understand that the story is based on physical regression of an adult but it still verges on a pedaphilia based story, based on 10 month old children being sexually pleasured. I doubt that is your intention, but it is the way I see it. I'm sure I'll get angry replies, but its pretty obvious.