I think its the fear of rejection that makes people wait to tell. i told my wife before me were married that at one time i wore diapers she was not happy about it so i said i don't do it any more even though i had all along and it took me 4 years of being married to tell her that i still did and she is ok with it now to some extent.But if i would have told her i did while dating i don't think we would be together today an ab's biggest fear is rejection I still have problems letting my true fealings show.