Mr Uncertain Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 So I have been wearing diapers 24/7 since April and I love it!! I also have really strong desires to have my diaper checked/changed by my wife (who knows about those desires). Ive talked to her about it and she has changed me before and does not really mind it but says she doesnt really enjoy doing it either. My dilemma is do I keep asking her to do it or just not bring it up again? The desires are incredibly strong and I think about it all the time but I dont want to overbear her with it so I dont know what to do...any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!! Link to comment
dlmike35 Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Respect her boundries. 1 Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted September 18, 2014 Share Posted September 18, 2014 Seconded. It's great your wife is ok with you wearing diapers, and even participates every now and again. I'm sure you wouldn't want to loose that so don't do anything that would turn her off to them. 1 Link to comment
drynot Posted September 19, 2014 Share Posted September 19, 2014 It has been my experience that if you never ask for something again...the person who you want to ask....just won't do it for you again. Link to comment
Diaper_Angel Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 AGREED WITH EVERYONE ABOVE! DON'T ask her any more! My Fiance has decided to take on the "Daddy" role for me, he is currently "in training" and while I would LOVE for him to do more then what he currently is. I refuse t push him (Even though he has told me multiple times he is wanting to take things a step further) Link to comment
drynot Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 LOL....come back and talk to me after 20 years of marriage. 1 Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Yes, relationships have to have give and take and you do things for each other. 1 Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 For a relationship to be successful both parties have to be pretty evenly matched in their willingness to 'give and take' regardless of their own feelings. And both parties have to be understanding enough to accept that "no" is sometimes going to be the final answer they give or get It's what happens then that's going to become the predictor of the future of the relationship. There are three ways to get somebody to do what you want when they aren't willing to cooperate; you push them, pull them, or force them. With enough effort you can get your way but it will have a price to you when you do any of these things. So your only real option is to try to find a way to gtet them on your side somehow, and get them to be willing. Which doesn't always work, but if done well it also has no cost to you. The trick in life is learning how to do that 1 Link to comment
Diaper_Angel Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 LOL....come back and talk to me after 20 years of marriage. Link to comment
Dill_Pickle Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Children, Children!! Stop reading so much into each other's posts that isn't actually there! 1 Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Just a thought from the 80's.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaXZ8GrOH5E ....and "Lady gaga" is a fake Link to comment
Repaid1 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Just a thought from the 80's.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaXZ8GrOH5E ....and "Lady gaga" is a fake Link to comment
drynot Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 It seems to be a common theme these days. Link to comment
kevindhca Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 26 years of marriage here and still counting. Drynot has good advice, you have to accept who your partner is, all of them. No one will be happy if you try to change them.( pun intended) My wife doesn't like to change my diaper either, but she does it sometimes, because I like it. She is becoming incontinent though, so in the future it will probably be me changing her. Lol Since women are in one of the higher risk categories for developing incontinence, having a DL husband could prove useful. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 It seems to be a common theme these days. Link to comment
drynot Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Rusty...are you fecking NUTS? Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Stated my point, sticking by it, enough said on my part. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Kind of funny but there's no one way to make a relationship work. I know a couple who were married 50+ years till death intruded, with most of their years having almost no verbal communication between them. Words were limited to simple questions which could be answered "yes" or "no"- any more than that and an argument grew out of it which neither wanted. Anything more complex was handled by leaving notes for each other or making a simple statement, no reply needed. They were madly in love; they just couldn't talk with each other. I doubt that most coupled could live like this, but for them it worked and that's what matters most I'm sure some couples 'keep score' like "Hey, I did that for you so now do this for me". If it works for them, fine But most people (couples included) need a more open and flexible way to keep going, and open honest communication is the key to those situations Link to comment
Jackiewope Posted September 24, 2014 Share Posted September 24, 2014 Don't be pushy. Ask every once and a while. Maybe she'll warm up to it. But definitely don't badger her about it. I change my boyf much more than I used to because I know it'll make him happy, and not because he asked me to a million times. Link to comment
happyindprs Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Rusty, I agree with you. Let's say two people fall in love and get married and remembering the words of their vows of for better or worse and then one day the husband says I want a sex change. Yes it's a worse case scenario but people fall in love based on facts they believe to be true of the other. When that turns out to be untrue, some feel violated or short changed or screwed and most importantly the bond of trust is broken. I am one of the lucky ones. I told my wife before we were married. I bared my soul to her and as I showed my true self, I also knew she could possibly walk right out of my life with my admission. But I told her before the "I do's" just in case it was too much of a shock. In my opinion, waiting until after you are married to spring this on your spouse is chicken shit! You based your relationship on a lie when we all know our diapers are woven into our very fabric of our being you cheated by not baring your soul as to the real you. With this said it sounds like you have found the one in less than one tenth of a percent that goes against the norms and truly loves you and believes in the sanctity of marriage. Consider yourself blessed. I only hope for the best life can bring you Link to comment
kevindhca Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Whether or not you told your SO about diapers before marriage is irrelevant. When you have kept something a complete secret for more than 15 years, it's very difficult to reveal that, even to someone you love. I didn't tell my wife till after we were married for over two years. She knew something was up. It's impossible to hide that you're being secretive. She suspected an affair, and was right, it just wasn't with another person. In that respect, she was relieved, and understood why I would hide that. Knowledge of what I like doesn't change who I am. If a small piece of info is enough to cancel a marriage, I would suspect it wasn't going to last anyways. I do things that are not pleasant and I would prefer not to. It's not exactly fun going over every piece of a vehicle to ensure it will never break down on the side of the road, but that's what you do when you care for another person. Did I miss something? KevinAA is on call 24/7, and she knows that. She would like stuff, I try my best to fulfill those needs. I would like some stuff too, as much as she is comfortable with. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Your potential life-partner deserves to know everything about you before comitting to a life with you, and the reverse is true just as well If you think something in your past is small, irrelevant, and done with then perhaps there's nio need to mentuion it, but when it becomes apparent that you were wrong in that assessment it's your obligation to speak up and allow them the choice of whether they want to continue with you or not. Much of a relationship's success is based on how you deal with things, not what you're dealing with; yet still there are some things which some people just cannot deal with and this can be one of those things If you intentionally witheld it knowing it was active, then it's your fault if it kills the relationship If you didn't know it begs the question of why you thought that way- are there other things which you decided about similarly? This is why I am an advocate for self-acceptance, oddities and all. If you can accept it then you can also understand it and how it may affect your life with someone else. If you deny it and it comes back to life latwer on, it's likely going to bite you in the butt badly If you're a good enough person (and your partner is too) then maybe you can work it out when it returns, but lack that and there's a good chance of failure ahead Accept yourself and deal with yourself well then you won't have this kind of problem to deal with later! Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 A point I made earlier was about someone being upfront about everything before marrage, but then some time after they have been married the husband or wife discover something new and different they suddenly become interested in. Link to comment
kevindhca Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 You can never know everything about someone else before marriage. I know alot about my wife. I have known her for 30 years. Do I know everything about her and her life especially before me, hell no. We in this community put a disportionate amount of attention on diapers, but to many other people, it's no big deal. When I was younger, I didn't realize that many people wear for need. In your mind, your the only person who is strange, and there is really very few places you would be comfortable revealing that secret. In time, a person begins to realize diapers really aren't the big deal they seemed to be when young. If a person had exposure to something their entire life, that's normal to them, not something you go out of your way to tell someone else. If you think you are going to know everything about someone before marriage, you are going to be very disappointed. It's just not realistic. Marriage is a journey for two people, you will be learning stuff about the other person for life. Link to comment
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