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just been feeling blah


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Over the past the 6 months to year, I've just been feeling more and more depressed. Part of it has to do with finding "the one." Almost every possible prospect I end up talking to just stops communicating all together. She doesn't even say why. I know being shy to begin with doesn't help. The more I'm around and talk to somebody, the more open I become. They don't even seem to give me a chance which doesn't help me at all. It would even be helpful if they explained why they stopped talking to me. There's days I just feel like going off the deep end even though I probably won't. There's days I just wish something random out of my control would take me away.

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Your troubles hit me very close to home...A lot of what your going through I went through a lot during highschool and college (and slightly recently too...), though with a slight variation. with me it's not that they just stopped talking to me, but the moment I wanted to start a relationship with them they would hit me with the preemptive "friendzone" speech ("You're a great friend, and I just hope we can remain friends" kind of things...). It's scary how much it happened (every girl I ever had a crush on aside from one...that one I was just too afraid to talk to >.> ). But the problem came not with them not wanting to talk to me anymore...but me having problems talking to them again. I became afraid that I would say something that would make them feel awkward being friends with me...so I would start avoiding them or giving lame excuses to avoid a small conversation because I still had feeling for them and it became a problem to even see their face without knowing I could never be with them. Eventually I completely isolated myself from these girls and we haven't talked since then...and that's what I regret was letting my feelings overpower my judgement...

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I don't know. As each day comes and goes, I care less and less. There's times I just feel like taking what money I have and leaving this country without telling anybody. I know, what about your family? While I do love them, I probably wouldn't care. I feel like the oddball. I was never really into sports. Other than working on cars and a few outdoor activities, I wouldn't say we have much in common. Part of that might be because other than visiting my dad a couple months out of the year, I never saw him much. Living 650 miles away didn't help. Living with him or being closer might have changed the outcome of my life. It almost seems like my step-dad didn't view me as a family as much as he should have. It probably doesn't help that he still doesn't know who his father is. My half-brother played all kinds of sports. My mom usually gets on my nerves after a few days of living in the same house while visiting one or the other. At one point I even stopped talking to her. I know my brother feels the same way about her at times. She gives us stuff we don't want even after telling her no. One example being bar stools that I now have sitting in my attic... My brother always had friends around. There's weren't many other kids my age where I lived. My mom would always be like "I want to see what they're like before you can visit them" when I wanted to visit a friend from school. I feel like she was too protective. I'd always find things to do on my own. Sometimes it would get me in trouble. Other times it wouldn't.

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A therapist or social counsellor might help you with this. Life can be a tough nut to crack and all that anyone can do is try B) Don't give up on yourself, stay focused on the best parts of you and let them show because those are the parts that somebody else out there is looking for. With a little luck you'll find them!

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Finding a group for things I enjoy doing is easier said than done where I live. Some of the things I enjoy doing aren't exactly easy on the wallet either. Or really something many women enjoy doing. The ones that do usually show up are either out of my age range or not exactly the type I'm looking for due to other reasons. It's hard finding somebody where I live that I might be possibly interested in. I have no desire to stay here. Most that live here like the

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The mountains, coolness, bass-filled lakes and trout-filled rivers are just a few hours north of you up here where I'm at. It's an easy all-interstate drive to here, but for snow you've got to go a couple hours further :P The RE market is growing in the state so you should do OK when you decide to sell but it won't make you rich. At least you won't lose anything and that's better than most folks have done over the last decade or so!

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  • 5 months later...

I feel like this is getting worse over time. Sometimes I wonder why I even exist anymore. There's days I don't even know what I want to do with my life anymore. Seems like everything I try going for fails for some reason. If I find something I like, someone or something gives me the big FU finger and says no. I've been chatting with someone for almost 2 months now. I've never felt the way I do about someone before. She's halfway around the world though. Both of us always wonder why one of us can't be closer to the other. She even knows about me liking footed PJs and stuffed animals. She doesn't know about the diaper part though. She'll even call me baby or say

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