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Need some advice on Breastfeeding....


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Hi Jilly Poo,

What you are referring to is known as ANR or Adult Nursing Relationship. There's another term ABF (adult breast feeding) but this tends not to create a lasting intimate bond. There are lots of resources regarding this topic.

To kind of give you the spark notes version, you will need a regimen that is consistent. Milk production is based off supply and demand, which is what will cause the re-lactation to occur. Depending on you and your spouses schedule will factor your nursing/pumping schedule. I've heard that every four hours is the most ideal. Just don't miss a session, regardless of your spouse being able to assist or not. If you're unable to pump, look up the marmet massage (aka hand massage).

I've read that it's possible to re-induce within a month, however three months is most realistic. Having nursed children, you'll notice a difference in the type of milk produced and the amounts. Firstly, you won't have colostrum(the really heavy and thick milk) but rather it will start out as clear drops. The amount of milk tends to be significantly less compared to when producing after childbirth. It's a slower process, but once you get a good amount of production, it's easier to maintain.

You can help 'move things along' with supplements and certain types of foods. The two most common supplements is domperidone and fenugreek. There are mixed reviews with these amongst the ANR community. I suggest doing some research before trying this because some people did have uncomfortable effects as well as a funky milk flavor. In addition, there's foods you can eat that help. Oatmeal and flax seed are the best. There is a recipe called 'lactation cookies' that have been made for years to help mothers with lactation. You can also find a tea called 'mother's milk tea' that contains ingredients known to assist in lactation as well.

You probably have experienced clogged ducts before. Sadly, you are still susceptible to them, especially in the beginning. A common practice I've heard women do is use lanolin or coconut oil (only on the aereola and NOT the actual nipple since that will cause it to clog), but use this to massage the area (or have your spouse help). This helps keep things loose. If you have a pump, see which is safe for it because some pumps don't work well with lanolin. Once you have milk, you can use this to massage into your breast. Breast milk will naturally prevent chapped nipples.

Also, have your spouse really look in to learning proper latch. If he's unable to achieve the correct latch then his nursing sessions won't help advance your re-lactation. Because our mouths are different from infants (teeth more specifically), I've found researching extended breastfeeding helpful in learning the latch since this pertains to toddlers with teeth. I saw one woman have her child practice gaining the correct latch by having her child stick out his tongue and her placing her breast far back on his tongue to get his mouth latched correctly.

I've never lactated nor am I interested. I'm more interested in being a suckler. In the community there's not a lot of those who are approving of the ABDL aspect. There are some, but more often those interest are just wanting the bond and intimacy created from it.

All in all, it's a lot of commitment and work but once you get what you are looking to achieve, the results are very rewarding on both parties. I hope this has been helpful! Feel free to ask me anything. I'll do my best to answer. Enjoy the process and best of luck to you!

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  • 2 months later...

Thank you for the advice, I have been wanting to breastfeed my husband (who is an AB) as practice for when I have a real baby. I have a question though, will my breasts increase in size like when one is pregnant?

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Thank you for the advice, I have been wanting to breastfeed my husband (who is an AB) as practice for when I have a real baby. I have a question though, will my breasts increase in size like when one is pregnant?

Well one would know they get bigger because they fill with milk for breastfeeding a baby, so hmmmmmm (Insert Jeopardy music). :P

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  • 1 month later...

I successfully induced lactation with a breast pump. It can be done but you have to be dedicated. I'm happy to answer any questions. I agree about boob size. I had to get bigger bras.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Eventually yes, Daisy. You can.

Demand = Supply. It just might take longer. I also recently read about domperidone. Some are more sensitive. But oatmeal, flax seed, fiber, staying hydrated, and having a really good routine will help induce.

People use domperidone to speed things up. There's lots of natural supplants mothers have taken for thousands of years. A good one is the lactation cookie. Recipes vary bc some like fenugreek or domperidone, but it's not required. It's mostly oatmeal with flax seed, brown sugar, etc.

I'm not sure if you're on fetlife or not, but there's a girl who is in ther under the name BainnesMilkyLife, and she's a wealth of information. She logged her results for inducing and did a ton of research.

Best of luck! I hope that helps. :)

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  • 3 months later...
On 12/27/2019 at 9:08 AM, Pamperbum_uk said:

Would a trans women also be able to start lactation with a breast pump???

Ask your doctor about that one. It will depend on a LOT of different factors. My guess would be no, but I'm extremely unqualified to answer that question.

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If there are sufficient levels of prolactin in the body combined with other factors then certainly it can be possible. I'd recommend consulting an endocrinologist versus a GP as they would have more expertise in the subject.

I say this based on my experiences as a genderfluid person and based on explanations provided to me by my endocrinologist about past experiences with my varied hormone levels. Individual experiences will almost certainly vary.

 

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  • 1 month later...

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