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Critiques and Writer's Discussion
For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.
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Posts
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By Padded_Princess · Posted
Variant 21950 also known as the shrinking virus had shocked the world 10 years ago. A mutation in growth hormones of certain individuals even now scientist couldn't predict who or why. Those who were infected gradually shrank some over a long period over 1-2 years while many had a rapid shrinking process between 1-2 weeks. The government didn't know what to do. Suddenly labor forces were losing employees to small to do the task. Mega corporations spent millions to stop bills requiring them to accommodate the shrunken as that would require specialized equipment, expensive time consuming equipment. Psychological test were done on many shrunken and research showed some had diminished in their cognitive ability to be independent where they were before. It took 4 years but eventually worldwide a law was passed. The shrunken were now required to be in the care of fully sized people. Many rights afforded to most citizens were no longer those of the shrunken. They were now seen more as pets. This law led to the newest business well the product was new though pet stores had always existed. These new specialty pet shops were paid by the government to collect any shrunken not registered/adopted by the time they reached a height under 18 inches. Not only were they paid for collecting the shrunken they doubled that income as they were also paid by individuals who came to adopt the stray shrunken. Today was a busy day for the tall man driving a yellow van slowly down the street. He had collected 4 shrunken this morning already. There came a point where after collecting enough you could tell those at the collectable height on site. This was one of those such moments. He watched the shrunken walking down the street trying to blend in. It seemed he would be collecting number 5 of the day. Parking the van he grabbed his tool bag which held necessary equipment to collect a little one. He quickly got in the street and kept a minimal distance following the little one ahead of him. His company was about gentle and quiet collection so he would follow the shrunken male until they were off the busy street. -
By Ishigreensa · Posted
Larry didn't know Sarah that well yet, and she did get a little upset earlier when he'd told her to stay under a ten dollar limit stating that it wasn't enough, and he told her to get what she wanted, so it wouldn't be until he saw just how much of the sandwich and cookie she was about to waste that he would start to realize how wasteful she could be, something she'd have to learn under his roof, that wasn't okay. Larry apologized to the customer after them. "I'm sorry. She's just kind of being picky. I think it's the first time she's ever gotten to pick food out for herself. Strange as that sounds, she doesn't seem to have been well taken care of before she came to me, so please, bear with us just this once." He saw they had two little kids. "How about I pay for their dessert for your patience with us?" "Oh, no, that's not necessary," the father said. "We have little kids out selves, and we let them pick things out for themselves all the time, and honestly, we could have been in front of you, and you'd be waiting not for one, but two excited young kids. We can wait. You just use your money to make your own kid happy." Larry smiled at him, a gratitude of respect in his eyes for the empathetic man. Their kids were definitely smaller than Sarah though, and Larry didn't know it, but one of them was ten and the other eight, and had he known their ages, he would have easily seen that Sarah was nowhere close to eleven years old, but would have had to be at least sixteen or seventeen, but he had rose colored glasses right now, and she never denied being thirteen and then younger than thirteen, always making him guess her age for some reason. Most kids would just tell you their age, but then she was hiding, as assumed, from abusers, so the less she told him about herself the less likely her old foster parents could be found. For all he knew, Sarah wasn't even her real name. -
By littleben238 · Posted
"thank you" He says as he takes the box. He tries to be polite to everyone as he just doesn't know what they'll say to Madam -
By littleben238 · Posted
Benny runs to Daddy "I hold Daddy hand" He smiles, not caring that he's just wearing his shirt, shoes and diaper -
By Electrically · Posted
I completely agree with BP on his very accurate quote, I understand how much work goes into writing stories/books and I don’t think that you should not be paid if the story is worth paying for, but a teaser or basically a advertisement for free is in bad taste, I actually have no idea how much money this type of thing would generate but I think at bare minimum you should consider a contribution to the site. Or the occasional free complete short story.
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