Friendship and devotion

[square_duck]

I just finished watching "The Deer Hunter" a bit ago, and it's been rambling around in my head....like I knew it would. Yeah it's an 'old' film, but I never saw it when it came out way back when Just not to much into those Viet Nam type flicks... That was a nasty war and the films aren't much better....but thats just me.

Anyways...it got me thinking about the main theme of the film, Friendship, devotion and bravery.

Now, personally I am a VERY devoted friend, and I have been for a long time. I didn't have friends (a friend) until high school, since I was picked on in school and at home and didn't really trust anyone or have anyone to relate to. But high school was different and the few friends I made I was very devoted to and would do most anything for, including risk my life and safety (did that)

But, over time...friends drift away, leave or pass away ( all of the above happened) and it got me thinking about my level of devotion and 'friendship". Much has happened over time and I find I have 'mellowed' I guess would be the word. If you like me and we get along....great, if not, thats ok too...but I find my level of devotion has drop[ed as well.....more of a 'take it or leave it' type thing.

maybe I was needy at the time (which I detest to even consider) but, not ever having had a 'friend" before much less know what one was....or worse yet, how to 'be' one, put me in a kind of vacuum I guess.

The characters in the film are all very close and end up in Viet Nam and their devotion and friendship are tested deeply....and for me that raises a question..

Whats your level of devotion to your friends and how supportive are you and what would you be willing to do for them??

Or not do..

All answers are valid as this is something that is deeply personal, so like religion, there can be no 'judging' of individuals...we are all what we are and we work internally as such.

Given my pool of friends has dwindled down to less then a handful (these are people 'I' consider friends....not people who call me their friend or wish they were my friend etc..

What would I do for them?? long ago I would have done most anything, but today...not so much, but it also depends on the situation and circumstances. Risk my life?? Nah...done that already and it's not really all that it's qwacked up to be

Personally, I don't know anymore.....this I must ponder and reflect on, maybe bring up for discussion with my shrink....

anyone else??

[Bettypooh]

Being my best friend isn't recommended, these have a tendency to die But with these there are no limits, it's anything and everything, just ask and it's yours no questions asked, and

[Repaid1]

As far as friends now, I guess I have less than a handful I consider "true" friends... like this guy above me. I can't tell you the struggles I had in my life and I found out that the "Friends" I thought I had, were not so much when I ran out of money. Then I was all alone, riddled with depression and subsequently went into a hiding and in my own shell as it were. I found it very difficult to even let anyone around me know the truth and put on the charade that I was above water, even though I was drowning. Not too long ago I was at about rock bottom and let it slip unintentionally of some problems. It was funny that the people of this site were among the first to respond...sending me a bit of money, gifts and most importantly food! It gave me a glimmer of hope, and with that I continued on, fought the fight and eventually I got what I had been waiting for. Money, well yes, but more importantly, peace and a safety which I hadn't know in a LONG time. I hope none of you ever find out what it means to eat once every other day, and live in a stinky dumpster, been there done that!

[Baby Brian]

I must be really pathetic. I have a number of acquaintances, but I only have one person I can consider my friend. I've know him for over a decade. We seldom hang out any more, but were both still there if the other needs help. We've both had to crash on each other's couch, get pulled out of more than just the mud, and so much more. The best thing of all is that we met through DPF so he likes diapers too!

[Hookedondiapers]

I have had many friends and acquaintances, but since most of them were military, one of us always moved away.

[Bettypooh]

I must be really pathetic. I have a number of acquaintances, but I only have one person I can consider my friend. I've know him for over a decade....

[Rani]

I'm a loner and don't have any friends. Online friends yes, but none that I spend any more than five physical minutes with.

I think my expectations of friendship must be too high. Whenever a friend has said they'll call in for coffee, then I think they'll do just that and I'm daft enough to sit waiting for them. But experience has proven that they rarely do. I don't say things if I don't mean them so if I say let's meet up for coffee then I arrange it and am there at the set time. I've never been late (I was even early for my own wedding!) and hate putting people out so if I say I'm going to do something, I do. I never get the same from those I've made friends with though, and I just end up disappointed and go back to life on my own where I'm happy anyway.

[Baby Brian]

Thanks Bettypooh, I absolutely agree.

[Rani]

Thank you Baby Brian xx

We've moved on now and whenever we do cross paths and I hear "I'll call in for coffee." I whisper a "yeah right!" and smile now

I'm not bothered. I have far too many hobbies for friends any way. Maybe that's me being selfish.

The quacky one asked how devoted we were to our friends and I was just saying that I give my everything, but feel I get little in return. Perhaps I will make a friend one day that'll meet up for coffee when they say they will. Until then, I'm content

[Bettypooh]

Rani, friends often come along in life when you don't expect them, and they often come from places where you never thought they would. Just keep the faith and somewhere along they way you'll find a true friend who cares equally in return

[Repaid1]

Thank you Baby Brian xx

We've moved on now and whenever we do cross paths and I hear "I'll call in for coffee." I whisper a "yeah right!" and smile now

I'm not bothered. I have far too many hobbies for friends any way. Maybe that's me being selfish.

The quacky one asked how devoted we were to our friends and I was just saying that I give my everything, but feel I get little in return. Perhaps I will make a friend one day that'll meet up for coffee when they say they will. Until then, I'm content

Well we have two issues, one your WAY!!!!!! over there, and two I don't drink coffee But I have sampled a pint or three when over there, so If I say I am coming, I'll be there, your choice to show..and if you get me back to the hotel..I would consider you my true friend!

[WakkoWannaBe]

You know, when I was first preparing to go to college my sister would always bug me and say stuff like "ARE YOU GONNA BE BESTIES WITH YOUR ROOMIE!?!?!?@!/3$?#" And I would be like "I'm going to study not to make friends."

[Rani]

Well we have two issues, one your WAY!!!!!! over there, and two I don't drink coffee But I have sampled a pint or three when over there, so If I say I am coming, I'll be there, your choice to show..and if you get me back to the hotel..I would consider you my true friend!

You're on. Just pick the hotel down the road and I'll escort you back after a few pints (you are talking about pints of whiskey? )