Jump to content
LL Medico Diapers and More Bambino Diapers - ABDL Diaper Store

I'm unsure of myself


Recommended Posts

Hello everybody. New user here just wanting to possibly get some advice. I've had a fascination, and kink for diapers for around 10 years or so now. I have tried wearing them in secret when I'm home alone a few times, but being afraid of being found out by my family or friends leads me to get rid of them very quickly after getting them. I find them very comfortable, and while I know there is nothing actually wrong with enjoying them, I am also afraid of when I'm found out that I will lose friendships that I've had for most of my life, and that my family will not understand or accept me. For at least a year now I've been having dreams about letting my secret out or being found out in some other way, and they usually end in suicide. I got caught shoplifting diapers a few years ago, and since that time, the dreams have been worse. I feel like a failure as a person for having this interest, but not really understanding why I do. Yesterday before going to work, I got the lowest I've ever gotten, and tried to cut myself. It didn't work all that well, since my knives were pretty dull, but i scared some of my friends at work greatly when they saw my arm. I just don't know what to do about this, and would like some clarity.

Link to comment

If anyone does find out, it's not the end of the world. If you lose them as a friend, they probably weren't a true friend to begin with. Diapers are certainly not worth cutting yourself or contemplating other bad ideas. Just be yourself, enjoy them when you can. Your not hurting anyone by wearing, and if others can't deal with it...it's their problem. They can accept you for being who you are...are go on their merry way.

Link to comment

Wearing diapers may not hurt anyone else, but apparently not wearing them is hurting you. It seems like a simple choice from my end, wear your diapers in happiness. You don't need to tell your friends about them if you don't want to either. If they find out then be honest about it. You need to wear them. You don't owe them an explanation beyond that, even if your need is emotional, not physical.

Link to comment

I am going bowling this weekend with my sister and mom, who are on a league with me. I'm sure they will see my arm, and will question me about it. This is going to be a long 2 day weekend I think. I still don't know how I'm going to tell them, or even worse, my dad about this. When I got caught shoplifting, I used the partial-truth of almost bedwetting, but being embarrassed about buying them. I told this to my mom, sister, and a close friend. My dad still doesn't know about even that part. I am clueless right now as to how to even start the conversation with my family and friends, and don't want to break ties with the people I love most. My arm seems to be healing fine, since it was barely a scratch to begin with, but now I will have this conversation looming over me all weekend, and I'm lost on how to go about it. Sorry if I'm rambling, but I needed to vent a little.

Link to comment

You should seek out professional help as soon as possible! There are hotlines you can call for depression or suicidal thoughts, if you don't feel you can get the support or help you need from friends or family. Most times we under estimate the ability of our friends and family to accept and understand us, and maybe yours won't. I would start with some professional guidance at the very least!

  • Like 1
Link to comment

First, I created this forum for just this type of thing, so no you're quite welcome here. Second you're not alone, there are many on this site who either share your feelings or have been there, myself included. I'm not going to tell you to seek help with all the mentioned things, as most are covered already. I know calling the suicide hotline isn't a easy thing, trust me I know. I would use that as a last resort and I know you have to use the last bit of will left inside you to do it. I would however ask you to seriously consider talking to your family doctor first. He is a trusted professional and will help you in the way you and he feel is going to overcome this period. You owe nobody a explanation for anything in your personal life, nor should you have to live with such feelings. You need to find your inner peace, and how you do it is your choice. I would caution you on who you tell, but once again it is your choice.

Link to comment

All that anyone else needs to know is that you've been having problems with depression- you don't have to say why you think it's happening. You might be surprised in finding someone you know has been through similar times, perhaps even knowing a therapist they can recommend. Accept the support around you for it's given out of caring about you. But get to a Therapist regardless. The chills in my spine aren't from it being cold here- they're from seeing in you a lot of what I experienced myself :o It's gone past the point where you can deal with this alone but that simply means that you need help to sort it all out- there is a solution! Everyone can benefit from that kind of help sometimes and it's always easier with the burden shared ;)

Link to comment

I've made up my mind that I will be telling my family later today. I am running on 2 hours of sleep, and my stomach has been doing flips all day long. I'm scared of what the reaction(s) will be, but at the same time I know I need to talk before this eats away at me even more. The person I'm most afraid of telling is my dad, since he knows nothing of this at all as far as I know. He will also be coming home from work tonight, so he could be in a bad mood to begin with, but I can't take the thoughts swirling around inside anymore. As I said before, I'll keep this topic updated.

Link to comment

Guess I'm kinda late, but I had suicidal thoughts before, but I kept them in check by thinking about my family

I'm now fairly "normal" as I got the help I needed, like I guess you have too now ;)

Link to comment

I was going to post this in the Shopping forum, but figured since it's my topic, i'll just post it here. After I told my family, I ordered myself a 40 pack of Tena Ultra briefs from HDIS.com using my prepaid walmart card. I still haven't received an email confirming the purchase, nor is it showing when I check the balance of the card. I did the transaction as a guest, so I can't go back and check on the status of it, which is a little annoying. I've thought about just ordering from somewhere else in the meantime, but haven't decided on that yet. Does anyone know about how long it might take to receive the order, assuming it actually has gone through? It's supposed to be shipping through Fed Ex, if that makes any difference.

Link to comment

TADA!!! But you could have got them a lot cheaper and with less grief (They send alot of Junk mail, both snail and internet. ). But hope you enjoy them, I would have upped for the plastic back ones from Bambino, can't stand cloth backing but to each their own. Glad things worked out in your favor. I like the good out comes :)

  • Like 2
Link to comment

TADA!!! But you could have got them a lot cheaper and with less grief (They send alot of Junk mail, both snail and internet. ). But hope you enjoy them, I would have upped for the plastic back ones from Bambino, can't stand cloth backing but to each their own. Glad things worked out in your favor. I like the good out comes :)

I might upgrade next time I go to order some. I didn't really research them enough, since I didn't realize they were the cloth backed, but oh well.

Link to comment

I just checked the mail, and my diapers were on the front porch. Thanks for listening to my instructions Fed Ex to deliver to the side entrance, but whatever. I opened them up, and apparently I was wrong about ordering the Ultras. I guess I ordered the Supers instead, but that's fine with me for now at least. I looked through some of the stuff that came with them, and saw something for a CPAP pillow that I might ask my dad about, since he uses one of those when he sleeps. Planning to maybe try these out after I get home from work Friday.

Link to comment

I changed my mind, and decided to wear one last night. It looks like I will need to get the large size from now on, but it still fit decently. I released my whole bladder into it, although slowly since I was sitting at my computer, and no leaks. I then slept in it, and again nothing bad. after waking up, and needing to pee again, I went into the bathroom actually intending to take it off first, but instead stood in the shower to let nature take its course. This time I flooded it without holding back, and filled it to capacity and a little more. I decided to get cleaned up after that, since I still needed to eat breakfast before going to work today anyway. Long story short, I'm very glad I got these, since last night was some of the most restful sleep I've had since revealing my secret.

Link to comment

I'm beginning to wonder if telling my family was a good idea in the first place. I haven't had many restful nights of sleep since then, and I am totally unsure as to why. At least before I told them I was getting sound sleep, even if the dreams were suicidal. I almost fell asleep driving to work today, and that's scarier to me than the dreams were.

Link to comment

Since you can't undo that part, just accept it. Since it went OK accept the good of beiung free to wear diaopers now. It seems you're worrying about the future, yet you've seen the present and everything is OK so why worry about that? If you're wearing to bed you may be worried about leaks or not feeling comfortable in diapers. Since it's interfering with your RL consider some OTC sleep-aid pills to get on the right track. Or force yourself to stay up all night, then the next night yoyu will sleep soundly. If there's a 'sexual' issue with wearing in bed you know how to solve that :blush: Keep things in perspective, even as 'big' as this is to you rememnber that diaopers are only a part of your life, not all of it, so don't let them take over your mind or your life B)

Link to comment

The staying up all night part will not be a problem. I stayed up until around 5am last night, and woke up today closer to 1pm. I don't need to be waking up that late, but I obviously needed the sleep. I have a 3 day weekend coming up, with not a whole lot to do over it, so that will probably help too. I've been working a lot more overtime at work than I normally do lately, so I think I'll cut back on that for a week or so, and see if that helps any.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...