Another person traveling towards Incontinence

[Spargano]

Hello,

[Creepymouse]

What you're experiencing sounds like one of several possibilities.

[Spargano]

Thanks for your response, I appreciate the insight.

You're right, of course. And the guilt of that lie hurts. But it is the only lie I have ever told her and will ever tell her. ...if anything I am too honest with her sometimes.

I am curious from a medical standpoint if I was to bring it up to a urologist what he/she would say.

In my profession it can be very hard to use the restroom so having a diaper has helped me tremendously. Would it be believable to say I have worn for years as a just in case and now I feel like I am unable to not not have them unless I am willing to travel every two minutes to the restroom?

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[Dill_Pickle]

Spargano,

[Spargano]

Thank you for the response Dillpickle!

I definitely want to be incontinent. I just also want my wife to be happy. I didn't want to go to the doctor unless I had something psychical to show. That when when the medications were offered I could say I do not like the side affects...

At this point I guess I need to super hydrate myself and maybe set an alarm to drink. When I am working I will not stop to eat or drink and therefore there are days when I have very little intake.

I appreciate your advice and any other advice might come my way.

Incidentally, my wife has been super understanding and would be fine with my diapered state if I told the doctor and there was nothing for it. I routinely go to sleep with her in just a diaper.

Our sex life is me taking off the diaper after trying to expel anything in my bladder and then putting a fresh diaper on afterwards. The downside is it takes forever for me to climax and I worry if the training will make me impotent and also if the training is undone by sex as it strengthens the muscle?

Any thoughts or advice on this would also be appreciated. As much as I want this, I want my wife's happiness first.

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[Hookedondiapers]

Incidentally, my wife has been super understanding and would be fine with my diapered state if I told the doctor and there was nothing for it. I routinely go to sleep with her in just a diaper.

Our sex life is me taking off the diaper after trying to expel anything in my bladder and then putting a fresh diaper on afterwards. The downside is it takes forever for me to climax and I worry if the training will make me impotent and also if the training is undone by sex as it strengthens the muscle?

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Do you take any medications at all?

[Spargano]

No I am not on any medication. But thank you for your response.

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[Spargano]

owwwwwwww!

[Dill_Pickle]

I managed to give myself a UTI last week....symptoms include discomfort downstairs, lower back pain mostly on one side, low energy. Bad smelling or cloudy urine are also indicators. Cranberry pills didn't fix it, went o the Dr for antibiotics.

I really can't help with he catheter sizing, just note to use lots of sterile lube and silicone worked better for me he last time I played with such things.

[Inconito]

I too managed to give myself an UTI from using a catheter when I was trying to cut a few corners.......Cranberry pills and juice didn't work out, so I also had to go to the doctor.

Can't recommend catheter....

[whisko]

i used a cath while sleeping during two recent nights (tuesday and wednesday nights), silicone foley 18fr 5cc, with no bad results. i learned the following:

- bedwetting must suck! sure, i'm a bit warped and like to cause it on purpose for my own enjoyment, but by the third night it was already cumbersome.

- i need better diapers! i am still working through my impulse buys of goodnites, sam's club briefs, and (crinkly plastic!) invacare something, but when i'm done, i want some dry 24/7s or something! they might be more conspicuous, but i hope they're also much more capable.

- goodnites brand disposable bed mats, with the adhesive corners, are awesome for catching leaks! (i also slept on a waterproof mattress pad, but i don't want to get it wet and have to do bed-laundry every day!)

[Spargano]

well I did some research...

On Types of Catheter I see I was both smart and foolish

http://www.urotoday.com/Indwelling-Urinary-Catheters-Pages/designs-indwelling-catheters.html

I had a antibacterial catheter but both potentially too large 18 and way too big in the balloon. You never need a 30 CC balloon.as apparently this can lead to urethral erosion... a very painful prospect...

So I guess the rule of thumb should be 5cc Balloon, start with 14 and work up to 16 and then 18 if it doesn't work.

[Spargano]

Ok, wow, size difference matters. I am using a 14 fr 5cc and the pain difference is extremely noticeable. I feel it there and it is sore, but the agonizing bladder spasms I felt with the 18 fr 30cc are definitely not present where it felt like my penis was desperately trying to expel the catheter. I will see how this goes for a few days hopefully. The thing that stinks is the time it takes to get here with experimenting... I ordered these Friday, so hopefully once I get the right size I will keep a good stock. I am using the silvertouch catheters to try and minimize bacteria as much as possible. I will also now start a timed regime of changes. I will be using Bellissimos for this since I will be out and about.

[Spargano]

Hmm, when I went to the bathroom for a bm I notice that I am peeing around the catheter so I guess 14 is too skinny

Spargano

[diapertime42]

well I did some research...

On Types of Catheter I see I was both smart and foolish

http://www.urotoday.com/Indwelling-Urinary-Catheters-Pages/designs-indwelling-catheters.html

I had a antibacterial catheter but both potentially too large 18 and way too big in the balloon. You never need a 30 CC balloon.as apparently this can lead to urethral erosion... a very painful prospect...

[Spargano]

Well whatever the case... No more catheters. I put in a 5cc 18fr and felt pain so I removed it. Blood came out and I panicked. Thankfully my urine is clear and peeing is not agony but that scared me to death, especially because I am in a small town. I am in a position that would not benefit from er talk....which would get back to my work.

Technically they cannot talk I know, but I assume they would....

Spargano

[mahleedl]

@Spargano, I played with catheters about a year or so ago.

[Spargano]

Thanks for the input! I will head that and stay far from them. My issue is I apparently have a large bladder and when it lets go it floods. This is the fear aspect you talked about in your post. I want that capacity reduced so I can freely pee and not stress and wonder if this will be catastrophic.

I can freely identify as incontinent, but I am a terribly liar and would not know what to say if friends or family suggested help. I want to get to a point that I can go to a urologist and have him say Spargano has OAB.

I was so scared about what happened yesterday that I said "enough with diapers! They aren't worth dying over." So I taught a class and realized I had to go to the bathroom every 10-15 minutes. That could be the catheter I realize, but I get that experience every time I am out of diapers for extended periods.

*sigh* if I had a doctor acknowledged stamp I would walk around with a lot more confidence. But I don't think many would understand a pastor psychologically needing to wear and use diapers.

Spargano

[Spargano]

slight update:

After three years of halfhearted attempts, I am going to try to give it my all. To this end I am messaging local experts in the field and hope to make progress.

Step 1. Downloaded Chime to my phone to remind me to relax and try to pee every half hour. (No Check)

Step 2. Set alarm every hour on phone to remind me to drink a glass of water. (Check- I can tell people I get dehydrated and get bad headaches. I do)

Step 3. Take Stock of supplies.

a.I have 2 cases of Abena Slips - medium (daytime stealth diaper)

b.I have 2 cases of Bambino Bellisimos - medium (nighttime and long excursion diaper)

c.I have 1 case of totaldry boosters

d.I have 3 velcro cloth babykin diapers for nighttime covers (I side sleep)

[Spargano]

Well, my wife came to visit me so I got to be with her for nearly 20 days ! She is still in college and I was transferred for work. Given transfer difficulties we decided to have her stay and finish. She lives with her parents (allowing for us to do this). We have been about 6 months of this. I try to fly out to see her once a month. So on her winter break I got a lot of time with my little angel.

But I learned some disturbing facts for my journey that I have to overcome.

1. I am not comfortable with her seeing me wet. I find it difficult to wet in front of her if I am in just a diaper. Somehow she has never watched my diaper swell or change color as it fills because my "incontinence" is something that has been something I try to not inconvenience her with, but if I am going to get there I cannot let this bother me. Advice on this would be nice.

2. I need to have three months of my preferred diapers on hand. With dry24/7 still waiting and bambino not able to take orders till the end of the month I am forced to purchase abena m4. Not that this is bad, but the cost effectiveness of the diapers showed that bambino Biancos to be the most affordable over time. On the plus side I have forgotten how comfortable abenas are. Given I do not have to worry about bulk down below I figured I don't have to have the super stealth diaper tena for everyday wear. I should use those only when I have to wear dress slacks. On normal days no one will notice my diaper so I should try to do the affordable route.

3. I have to go to the doctor. I promised my wife I would get my annual exam so I have scheduled it for monday. I do not know what I should do. I am In a small town with a public position. I do not trust doctors not to talk. "Did you know the minister had bladder problems!"

Do I go and take my physical and

A. Mention nothing about my bladder health and keep it secret

B. Mention my extreme urges to go every 15-30 minutes but not mention I have been wearing diapers

C. Mention my extreme urges to go every 15-40 minutes but mention I have been wearing diapers in case I don't make it

D. Come in a diaper, explain why because I feel like I have to go every 15-30 minutes and I cannot stop doing what I am doing many times

Either way, I would admit that this is a very embarrassing issue that I don't want anyone to know about. I have dealt with it this way for years and it was for embarrassment sake I never brought it up to a doctor previously.

Drugs scare me to death, a foley is something I tried and it hurt like hell. The condom catch doesn't seen totally trustworthy and I would still have a bag to deal with. Diapers are the best solution I feel and I would rather keep using them as my safety net.

Thoughts? Advice? Happy new year to everyone.

Spargano

[DavidMW]

If you're journeying towards incontinence, at some point you'll have to wear diapers to the doctors office, whether this time or some time in the future.

[Spargano]

Thank you for the encouragement! I don't think I would have a genuine accident unless I am not allowed to leave the waiting room or the exam room. I have a shy bladder when in embarrassing situations so I think I could hold it during the exam, but I then again, maybe I should wear and be honest and say it is a safety net.

Spargano

[mahleedl]

The biggest hurdle to all of this is the mental acceptance.

[Spargano]

Thanks for the encouragement! So I am guessing it will have to be option D. Come in the diaper and explain myself.

For those who have had this conversation with the doctor, did you show up in a diaper or just mention you sometimes wear when you cannot leave for extended periods?

As an update the bottled water approach is excellent. It had helped me go 6 times in the last four hours. I am hoping in a few weeks to get that to 8 (every thirty minutes) but I am happy . It is also a lot healthier for me. I have been woefully dehydrated last month and that leads to bad headaches. This will kill two birds with one stone. Thank you again. The support of this forum makes this journey so much easier.

Spargano

[mahleedl]

I started talking to my doc when I began having legitimate night time issues.