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Those Who Started Young - Brief Questionnaire


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I have a questionnaire for those of you whose diaper fetish goes back to at least the age of 4-5. If you started this young, could you please take the time to answer some questions. I'm doing research on the possibility of there being a link between diaper fetishism and repressed pre-verbal abuse. Nothing scary. But just answer honestly, and to the best of your ability.

1. I May have alexithymia (http://oaq.blogspot.com/ to find out.

Alexithymia is defined by:[6]

  1. difficulty identifying feelings and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal

  2. difficulty describing feelings to other people

  3. constricted imaginal processes, as evidenced by a scarcity of fantasies

  4. a stimulus-bound, externally oriented cognitive style.) YES or NO

2. I have difficulty forming intimate relationships, and finding a sexual partner - YES or NO

3. Growing up, I was very uncomfortable with being touched - YES or NO

4. I started masturbating at a young age - YES or NO

5. I have been mostly asexual throughout my life - YES or NO

6. In very traumatic or distressing situations, I become robotic, and detached, underreacting - YES or NO

I'm just trying to get a feel for- again- those of you whose AB/DL tendancies started around or before kindergarten. From the research I've done, this group tends to have the highest incidence of RECALLED sexual abuse. The theory is that AB/DLism in this group may have been caused by, and in fact the result of, repressed abuse. If it's repressed, you can't tell it occurred, obviously, unless you have spontaneous recall. What makes this even more difficult to catch is that pre-verbal abuse takes place during the period of "infantile amnesia"- the period of time the average person has amnesia for- between age 0-4 or so. Just copy and paste the above questionnaire. Your responses are greatly appreciated.

I am particularly curious what percentage of people on this site have alexithymia. I was going to simply ask about that, at first, because that by itself may indicate pre-verbal abuse, but I thought it might be helpful to add the other questions.

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Ok, I'll try and answer some questions here. First, a little background. Iw as a bedwetter and wors cloth diapers and plastic pants to bed every night until I was 6. I know that this is where I got my desire for diapers as I got really excited one night when I was about 4 that I had on diapers and plastic pants. I always had a facination for diapers, especially when Pampers started getting big and having commercials on TV. It wasn't until I was 11 years old that I finally got some Pampers and used them. It was hard to het actual diapers to wear until I got old enough to drive, but I made do with makeshift diapers. Anyway, that is the ages of my interest in diapers and what started them.

1. I May have alexithymia (http://oaq.blogspot.com/ to find out.

Alexithymia is defined by:[6]

difficulty identifying feelings and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal difficulty describing feelings to other people constricted imaginal processes, as evidenced by a scarcity of fantasies a stimulus-bound, externally oriented cognitive style.) YES or NO ----- A strong NO!

2. I have difficulty forming intimate relationships, and finding a sexual partner - YES or NO ---- Somewhat as my mom was never really one for hugging or praising when I was a kid and teenager. She mostly found small faults instead of looking at the accomplishments. As I've gotten older now, yes, it is harder to establish relationships but I don't go looking for quick sex. To me it is finding the right woman who shares interests and maybe long term commitments rather than quick sex. I guess I'm kind of old fashioned as I hate seeing TV with everyone trying to have sex with everyone else! That's all you see on TV. Used to be the closest thing to that years ago was Barny Fife trying to make a date with Juanita at the diner when his steady girlfriend was Thelma Lue!

3. Growing up, I was very uncomfortable with being touched - YES or NO ---- I'd say no by parents. Never had anyone else try and touch me as either a hug or inappropriatly

4. I started masturbating at a young age - YES or NO ----- Define young. Probably about 11 or 12, but that is the age most people go through puberty.

5. I have been mostly asexual throughout my life - YES or NO ------ Definatly no! Straight male here all the way!

6. In very traumatic or distressing situations, I become robotic, and detached, underreacting - YES or NO ------- No. I am always concerned as to what is going on and I pay close attention and see if I can help in any way if I can.

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  1. difficulty identifying feelings and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal

  2. difficulty describing feelings to other people

  3. constricted imaginal processes, as evidenced by a scarcity of fantasies

  4. a stimulus-bound, externally oriented cognitive style.) NO

2. I have difficulty forming intimate relationships, and finding a sexual partner - NO

3. Growing up, I was very uncomfortable with being touched - NO

4. I started masturbating at a young age - YES - is 11 young?

5. I have been mostly asexual throughout my life - NO

6. In very traumatic or distressing situations, I become robotic, and detached, underreacting - Depends on the situation. I would say mostly NO

I think you are going to find your research will determine nothing. Some will answer yes to all or some no to all. I think it will be varied. I think we all ponder how or why it happened to us. I think I somewhat figured mine out years ago. Mine is basically because my mother was a total bitch and child abuser and had no emotional connection to me or my siblings. Then toss in my aunt who was super nurturing to her handicapped son. He was incontinent , wore diapers and is the same age as me. I saw a parallel between my cousin and myself and started wanting to wear diapers at the age of 4. I guess I envied him and wanted what he had. Oh I spent a lot of time at my aunt and uncle's house and my cousin is more of brother to me. That's my story in a nutshell. Years go by and diapers because security and nurturing for me. By the I was never diapered by my aunt. For some reason I felt I should toss that info in.

Anyway good luck on your findings!

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I have few to no alexithymia traits as was said by the test. Unfortunately, I started my fetish at about 7 or 8. Masturbation came just a little bit after that. With some of those questions though, it might be hard to differentiate from someone who has good control of their emotions and someone who has no emotions. Therefore, it is good many of them focused on thought questions or questions regarding your thought processes.

This thread is interesting. I hope you discover something.

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Hmmmmm... I may be somewhat of an anomaly, then. I was sexually abused while in diapers- while being changed- by the daughter of a family my family lived with, and sexually abused at age 4 (out of diapers then) by a girl who was "playing babies" with me, using diapers. I'm positive this stuff caused the fetish for me, because the first place I went to, when I stole a package of diapers from the nursery, was into the closet in my room where the girl abused me. I don't know if this was weeks later, or months, but I was roughly the same age still (4). Same closet, and just so happened to sexualize the thing she'd been sexually abusing me with.

The reason I'm bringing this up is that from the professional research, they've been able to divide us into 3 different groups: those whose fixation started before the age of 5 or so, those whose fixation started after 5 but before adulthood, and those whose fixation started in adulthood. The latter two (based on self-reporting of volunteers) in large part had exposure to AB/DL pornography as the genesis of their fetish. Some were (I believe) inadvertantly, unintentionally sexually abused by parents as punishment, by being put back into diapers. I'm leaving out other categories for the genesis of diaper fetishism here, because I'm really concentrating on the age group who started before age 5. The reason why is that the research shows a spike in this group of childhood sexual abuse. Three things were found: this group tended to picture themselves as toddler-aged in their regression fantasies, they had CSA (Childhood Sexual Abuse) in their past, and they tended to shun overt sexuality in their fantasies, or practice.

Repression is a hotly debated topic. If you actually look into it, denial of the existence of the phenomenon of repression (I should say "dissociative amnesia"- that's the current terminology) is undeniably politically motivated, and was spearheaded by an organization called "The False Memory Syndrome Foundation". Dr. Underwager, who founded it, and his wife, both openly advocated for the legalization of pedophilia, and claimed it was a "good" experience, and children enjoy it. Several other heads of the FMSF have advocated pedophilia, and many members are defense attorneys specializing in defending pedophiles. Conflict of interest much? Hmmmm.

What I've discovered from doing hundreds of interviews with CSA survivors, on my own, is that repression of sexual abuse, and subsequent spontaneous recall of repressed memories was very common. The debate over repressed memories in the 90's was boisterous and it left the general public with the impression that repression has been disproven. This was never the case. The scientific community, since then, has quietly been finding that it's very much real. From all the people I've talked to, and all the reports I've read, I've discovered that so-called "False Memory Syndrome" does not exist in the DSM. It appears to be a very rare occurrence, associated with hypnotic regression- and even then it rarely occurs. The majority of people claiming they have recovered memories of CSA say they did so outside of any doctor's office. They're triggered by having children, going to the funeral of their perp, or seeing abuse similar to theirs on TV, or during sex- but this may even be after decades of not responding at all to such stimulus. It appears to be somewhat random.

Pre-verbal sexual abuse is even more likely to be repressed. Victims often have a deep-seated need to be comforted the way a mother might comfort a child that age (newborn to toddler). This is what I've seen over and over and over in repressors of pre-verbal sexual abuse. They may simultaneously feel the compulsion to re-enact their own abuse on themselves (very true in my case), while feeling deeply grieved by it and wanting to be rocked, held, cuddled, and comforted the way they would have wanted to at the age it occurred.

I would submit to you, reader, that AB/DLism may be a symptom of repressed sexual abuse- not always- but far more often than people now realize. There is a paucity of research on us. And the research that has been done is very anecdotal, and not comprehensive at all. If you are under the impression that the research has proven only a tiny little fraction of AB/DL's were CSA victims, think again. They've done a handful of opinion polls on a group of people who may be deeply repressing sexual abuse, and found that just a few of them remembered their abuse. That is what I'm positing. Anyway, the research is far from conclusive at this point.

I believe AB/DLism is a coping mechanism. You may see sexual pleasure (or oxytocin related pleasure) and tend to not even consider something that feels good to be something as unpleasant as a coping mechanism. Ask yourself "why?", though. Is that a rational idea? It feels good, so it can't be a symptom of something else? Post-verbal sexual abuse victims often self-sooth with frequent masturbation. It feels good to them. They may not even put two and two together that they're self-soothing. And they may feel guilty for doing it, and hide it. That doesn't mean anything. Nor am I saying that just because AB/DLism started out as a coping mechanism after your own pre-verbal sexual abuse that you need to shun and avoid it, or should feel ashamed of it. It's a part of you. It's a part of your story. Nothing more. There's nothing inherently wrong with it, and you're not hurting anyone. Not saying this makes it wrong. This all was true for me. I don't have a shred of doubt anymore. I think there's more of us- those like me- out there.

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I should add, I'm particularly interested in question number 6. One of the defining characteristics of repressors is that when they are put in potentially stressful situations, they report low levels of distress but are physiologically very reactive (e.g., increased heart rate, raised blood pressure). Depending on how much you've thought of it, and observed yourself, you may think of yourself as easily panicked, or unresponsive to immediate threats.

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ok denial of the whole repressed memory tihing is NOT politically motivated but rather the fact that these 'memories' on the whole have never been proven to have actually happened... yet there is a whole ton of research PROVING you can through suggestion and cueing cause someone to 'remember' something that never happened.. that phenomenom HAS been researched intensely and show to be real.. for example, next time you are hanging around a 5-8 year old say "don't you remeber when you were younger and we went to disney and met mickey..." say it enough and sure enough they will remember, and then no amount of saying otherwise will convince them it did not happen...

Also, i would be interested to know about this research taht splits abdls into three categories, or is this all fetishists?

The problem with the whole theory that people become abdl because of repressed sexual memories is that there is no way to prove any 'recovered memories' actually happened... so did it happen, or are people just 'remembering' what they need to make themselves feel more comfortable with their like for diapers etc....

Masturbation feels good to me, its not a symptom of some repressed memory. Being put in diapers and treated like a baby likewise gives me the same sexual pleasure not a symptom of some repressed memory.

I mean if 'remembering' some abuse makes your life easier, makes it easier for you to accept that you like to wear diapers and get off on it.. then 'remember' away.

Also alexithymia is a VERY new medical term and there is still a lot of 'up in the air' about it, with many believing it is nothing more than a personality trait, and others believing it is along the lines of aspergers/autism. The thing is, its not that people w/ alexithymia can't feel, its that they have difficulty expressing those emotions in words... so perhaps they just have an expressive language disorder....

however, you will find many many other threads about mental illness, repressed memories, and how they do or do not cause people to be adbl...

Actually go to ANY fetish website and you will se the same topics over and over... apparently sexual abuse in childhood causes abdl, BDSM, pony and puppy play, water sports fetish etc...etc.... its interesting how the same experiences can be blamed on causing so many different things... its a wonder we aren't all pony and puppy playing pee enthusiasts who wear diapers while dressed up like a racoon.!

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The whole "lost in the mall" experiment was flawed. Sexual trauma memories are stored differently. I've met a good 20 or 30 different people who have corroborated their recalled memories with personal confessions by the perpetrator, videographic evidence, and second hand witness testimony. I'm afraid you've drunk the kool aid. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I remembered nothing for 2 and a half decades, and I've proven what happened to me.

"The problem with the whole theory that people become abdl because of repressed sexual memories is that there is no way to prove any 'recovered memories' actually happened... so did it happen, or are people just 'remembering' what they need to make themselves feel more comfortable with their like for diapers etc...."

Like me finding naked photos of what my grandfather did? You're mistaken. There are ways to corroborate it after the fact.

"Masturbation feels good to me, its not a symptom of some repressed memory. Being put in diapers and treated like a baby likewise gives me the same sexual pleasure not a symptom of some repressed memory."

Talking about excessive masturbation from age 4, to the point of chaffing and bleeding, specifically.

"I mean if 'remembering' some abuse makes your life easier, makes it easier for you to accept that you like to wear diapers and get off on it.. then 'remember' away."

I like how you already know I'm wrong about being raped as a little boy, without having spoken to me, or my therapists. Everyone on this site is the smartest person in the room. Hear a little pop science, go to community college, and you think you have the science definitively nailed down. Ever heard the phrase "By the time you finish med school, half of what you learn will be outdated"? That's especially true in psychology- the loosest of all the sciences.

The molestation around age 2 is corroborated by the fact she also molested my older brother. The molestation at 4 is corroborated by the fact there were 2 witnesses to what she did ("WHAT?! FEMALES MOLESTING MALES?! MY FEMINIST THEORY SAYS OTHERWISE!"). What my grandfather did has been thoroughly corroborated. All of it has been corroborated by lifelong symptoms, including (recently) very disturbing and realistic flashbacks, which started before I even suspected anything. The scientific community is in flux over repressed memories. And if you'll notice, I didn't deny that people can be made to "remember" things that never really happened, but if you look into the evidence of this phenomenon there is nothing robust about their false memories. False Memory Syndrome was left out of the DSM for a good reason. It's rare, and it's nothing like real flashbacks- I can assure you of that. Real flashbacks make you believe in ghosts for a second, because you're so confused what's happening to you. Also, I am not trying to say all diaper fetishism is caused by sexual abuse. I'm positing that more is than is currently understood.

Perhaps I'm wrong on some of this. I am most definitely not mistaken about being sexually abused. It is all too real. Get onto any of the biggest CSA support sites and tell them repressed memories are not real. You'll get swamped with hundreds of stories- again, stories with corroborating evidence. Sometimes the science is behind the anecdotally proven and obvious evidence. And I assure you, if we're talking about combat trauma, the evidence for repressed trauma memory is very robust and widely accepted. No one doubts it exists for combat trauma victims.

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Actually go to ANY fetish website and you will se the same topics over and over... apparently sexual abuse in childhood causes abdl, BDSM, pony and puppy play, water sports fetish etc...etc.... its interesting how the same experiences can be blamed on causing so many different things... its a wonder we aren't all pony and puppy playing pee enthusiasts who wear diapers while dressed up like a racoon.!

Sure, but perhaps the point of view is the same. Maybe they are all subs. I for one have many fetishes and other activities I enjoy, but all from a similar perspective. Also, a relationship between a caregiver and an ABDL is so similar to a Dom/Sub relationship in BDSM. While the activities are different, the aspects, such as trust and control (or lack there of), are the same in each relationship type. Heck, in my play, I put them all together.

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1. I May have alexithymia - NO - at least in the described terms.

2. I have difficulty forming intimate relationships, and finding a sexual partner - YES

3. Growing up, I was very uncomfortable with being touched - YES

4. I started masturbating at a young age - NO

5. I have been mostly asexual throughout my life - NO

6. In very traumatic or distressing situations, I become robotic, and detached, underreacting - NO (my typical reaction is to actively retreat from the very-stressful situation and circumnavigate any reason of conflict)

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so ym degree in psychology , and the fact that i work with 50 phds and psyds and mds in my building alone as well as have access to and use pudmed, nih and a multitude of other tools to access full peer reviewed research means ive drunk the kool aid... and it was grape kol aid and delicious btw

and i do owe the op an apologize i forgot to ad my disclaimer that my use of the word 'you' was in the non specific third person you.... not actually aimed at anyone.... so yes there are instances when abuse can be corroborated and proven to have happen .... my point was more there is no solid eidnece to go one way or the other about 'repressed ememories' always being correct ...

i mean paychology knows memories are ever changing depending on where we are xurrently in life ... there are many studies about memory and its untrustworthiness for accuracy ....

so i do apologize i was again using the word you in a non specific form as i do in most of my posts i just forgot to put the disclaimer that is necessary .....

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1. I May have alexithymia (http://oaq.blogspot.com/ to find out.

Alexithymia is defined by:[6]

  1. difficulty identifying feelings and distinguishing between feelings and the bodily sensations of emotional arousal

  2. difficulty describing feelings to other people

  3. constricted imaginal processes, as evidenced by a scarcity of fantasies

  4. a stimulus-bound, externally oriented cognitive style.) YES

2. I have difficulty forming intimate relationships, and finding a sexual partner - YES

3. Growing up, I was very uncomfortable with being touched - YES

4. I started masturbating at a young age - YES

5. I have been mostly asexual throughout my life - YES

6. In very traumatic or distressing situations, I become robotic, and detached, underreacting - YES

This defines me perfectly and I always wondered if there was a name/diagnosis for it. Thanks, OP!

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Im having difficulty seeing how this questionaire relates to ab. And when I was finished mine wouldnt even calculate it.

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To help people better understand alexithymia, since a google search doesn’t bring up a ton of peer reviewed published information -

From WebMD Search using “alexithymia

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1. No- I know how I feel & if I wan't someone else to know it too- they will. My fantasies are...not scarce.

2. No- Happily married for 11 years.

3. No- No very uncomfortable with being touched but growing up I was a bit of a loner nerd.

4. Yes- well a better definition of young would be helpful here. I started getting aroused around 11 or 12. That seems young to me but I could be wrong.

5. No- I'm bisexual.

6. No- If anything I used to be prone to overreacting until I took anger management classes.

My first memory was when I was 4 years old. I got up from watching cartoons at a commercial break to put on one of my younger brother's diapers (they just barely fit as I recall). Of course my mom somehow knew as they all always do. She told me to take it off so I did. A couple of years ago I did have a vivid dream of my biological father changing my diaper. I was maybe 1 or 2 years old. Nothing abusive or sexual happened but he did touch me in a weird way by rubbing his hand on my leg. I remember in the dream thinking at that moment I had to stop wearing diapers right then so he would never do that again. My mom recalls me potty training fairly normally sometime around age 2-1/2 or 3. I can't say it was a repressed memory as I clearly was dreaming when I "recalled" it, but who knows. As long as I can remember I've always felt like I stopped wearing diapers too soon and have always been drawn back to them. Life is funny that way too. A while back I was involved in a car wreck that gave me urge incontinence so now I have to wear them 24/7, like it or not. Fortunately I happen to like diapers quite well.

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Interesting site.. it looks like its wikipedia except without actually listing its sources just this

"Please include a link to this page if you have found this material useful for research or writing a related article. Content on this website is from high-quality, licensed material originally published in print form. You can always be sure you're reading unbiased, factual, and accurate information."

Is there somewhere on the site where actual sources or authors of the articles are listed? I'd be interested to know where they aquire their information...

Looks like a good starting off point if you want some basic info on a topic....

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Whew, this is a rather deep and wide subject- I hope I can make a positive contribution to the discussion :)

First, I would like to point out that what one does is driven by what one believes or sees, regardless of it's veracity or correctness. Thus to act correctly, one must first see clearly. As a way of assessing what others see, I look for signs such as the name "False Memory Syndrome Foundation". In that name their position becomes obvious. They are very unlikely to have an unbiased viewpoint, so I reduce the credibility of all their words accordingly. That alone does not mean they they have reached wrong conclusions; it only means that they have an obvious bias which affects their judgement. One of the local religious universities here has a required course on "False Religions". I have yet to get any of that school's graduates to understand that the name of this course should clue them into the fact that they are being indoctrinated, not educated, because it begins with an unproven assumption of correctness when no such proof truly exists. If that course were named "Other Religions" then there would be a chance that it could be unbiased, a chance that does not exist now. Even if they happen to be right, they are obviously biased and thus should not be given any credibility because of that.

I also disagree with categorizing anything based on a person's age. We all know that humans develop at different rates. At any given age there will be some who are more mature and others less mature both mentally and physically. If categorization need occur, then it should be based on a persons level of development, not their age. I know that would be very hard to do but to know of a basic flaw in your ideology and not attempt to correct it also undermines one's veracity, and due to the mistakes which will occur when such categories include the wrong people, it will adversely affect the results of your research into the subject matter. I have never seen any allowance made for those errors when using age to categorize humans so I questions the results which they arrive at in their researches. Once again they may be right- but they may equally be wrong.

As to our memories we are all flawed. We do not consciously remember everything we experience, sometimes to the degree that we have no recollection at all of something even when we were totally aware and lucid. Everyone has found themselves being told of something they missed by groups of persons who were also there that did remember. In such instances it is highly likely that the masses are correct in that memory while we were not. Yet we are also susceptible to having our memories altered through that same mechanism. I cannot say what or how the subconscious may bear on that, I can only say that we should start by believing that memories are real until credible doubt is introduced into the equation. We humans also prefer happiness, therefore we tend to remember nice things and repress not-so-nice things. Usually we will clearly remember the worst things but not always, as the human mind may push them away as a method of coping with that adversity. I do believe some memories are repressed and some are enhanced. I also believe that without corroborating evidence we can only access them if they still reside correctly in our subconscious.

We've seen from many here that many forms of abuse, sexual and otherwise, play into the reasons that cause us to be ABDL. We also see from that same group others who do not have those experiences and yet are very similar in being ABDL. From that I can only conclude that with our individualism, such abuses can be a contributing factor but are not necessarily going to produce the same results in everyone. I believe that my own being pressured to mature more rapidly than I was ready for is part of my deep-seated DL motivation, yet it would seem that this would also carry along at least and equal portion of being AB, which I am not. I cannot explain this obvious disparity, I can only say that I know this to be true in me. Can ABDL be a coping mechanism for those who were abused? Certainly, but there can be other coping mechanisms and there can be coping with the same things in non-ABDLs through other means. If being ABDL helps you deal with life better then it is a relatively harm-free way to do so. It is far better than not coping well, or than coping in a manner which is generally perceived as wrong by society as a whole.

Aimed toward Sarah and others who seem to place their faith in, and justify their beliefs in those who should be competent Medical Professionals, I would like to point out they can be wrong even to the level of their vast majority. Need I remind you that a little as 50 years ago, homosexuality was seen as a grave disorder and that it was believed that being homosexual indicated a strong proclivity to being a pedophile? We now know better than this, in fact we know that the reverse is more often true, yet it was this very same group of supposedly knowledgeable persons who were so very wrong back then. I believe that their knowledge is now advanced, but it is clear that it can still be every bit as wrong now as then. We should not grant them cart-blanche believability until their theories are very well proven over many lifetimes, such as has been shown in my example. All of medicine, be it mental or physical, is a practice and not perfect and every sane practitioner of medicine will tell you that even today, we still know and understand only a tiny portion of these things. I would also like to point out here that having formal education in these fields also relates to what I said above about the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation"- you have been led to believe that certain concepts are correct, or to have had your inherent beliefs in those concepts reinforced via what you believe is ample justification for them. Having a deeper understanding and greater knowledge than usual of something does not in itself insure that you are correct in those beliefs, especially when those things were being given by someone who also believed them.

It is only by giving the opposed position equal credibility then comparing the two that we can determine which is the more correct of the two. Even then we can still be wrong, especially when as is usual, the persons teaching us are not showing us both sides equally in the classroom environment. They are pushing their viewpoint as being the credible one and grading us on how well we adhere to their viewpoint. Our desire to want to pass those courses inhibits out ability to see the other side clearly, and the deeper you go into a subject through advanced education, the more likely it is that you are going to blindly accept what is being given to you even when it is in error. This is often seen in many highly educated people lacking what we generally call 'common sense' in many areas where they were not adequately educated. One such example was Albert Einstein who lacked the ability to properly ties is own shoes, a concept which was too simple for his complex mind to understand even though he very well knew the value of it. It behooves us to always question everything and demand it be proven before we believe it, especially if it is something we want to believe, because we are all flawed humans and we can all be wrong no matter how highly educated we are.

Sorry for the lecture but I hope this will enhance the understanding of what we're discussing here and allow for a better understanding of it all- It is a very enlightening discussion indeed ;)

Bettypooh

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Bettypooh, you looking for a publisher? Lol.

I think you drew a false conclusion regarding higher education. In fact, it is quite the opposite. The more you go into higher education, the more you find out things are not as simple as they were first introduced and the more you realize you don't really know. Usually when they first introduce something, they first teach the most basic observations first. Then they move on to more advanced observations. Remember when you were taught electrons move in circles around the nucleus. Well, that is what we first thought, but that was just a hypothesis. It was called the Bohr Model. All we really had was some evidence that said something like an electron has to be there somewhere. Now, we have a better idea. Now we think electrons move around the nucleus in what is called an orbital, which can best be described as a figure eight, but more elongated like a balloon. Sparing the complexity, the point is, the more we learn, the more factors we can account for and the more accurate we can become; however, this always creates more questions than answers. It is funny that you mention we should ask questions because that is actually our job.

The thing about psychology is we really won't know what everyone is thinking until we develop the ability to read minds. Albert Einstein had a unique mind. He developed our ability to harness the power of the atom. That said, you are assuming his mind was complex. Maybe he just thought differently. I will also point out, there are not many like him, highly educated or not. I should make it clear he is not characteristic of highly educated people. Most highly educated people get really high grades and have a book as their thesis when they get their Ph.D. Einstein got poor grades and had only one page for his thesis. Just saying your statement saying we lack 'common sense' is antithetical to all that you wrote.

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ehhh i don't place all my faith in strictly what some MD says, i do my research and read both sides of the 'argument'

50 years ago homosexuality = pedophilia and autism = needs to be sterilized and locked away for life.

200 years ago epilepsy = witch that needed to be burned at the stake

However at all those times, there were just as many 'professionals' of their time who believed the opposite of these statements. Thanks to the internet people have access to both sides of an argument, back than you only had access to the argument / belief held by those in 'power'.. i.e. the majority.

I don't read something and then say "oh yep thats it, thats the only truth" but i do read things for knowledge, with the knowing that many many things will change each year in the medical and scientific community...

also i never stated allll memories are false completely and utterly, i stated taht it has been incredible hard to substantiate the majority of memories people have of abuse, therefore making it incredibly hard to substantiate the idea that every single 'recovered' memory is true and acurrate. But also, we are not computers, and do not record events just as they happened, we record them according to the emotional state we were in at the time... and then when we recall thsoe memories each time we taint them with our present emotional state... hence memories change over time... This they have studied repeatedly, over and over and over for decades...

Its not good, its not bad.. it just is... but sometimes knwing this, can help someone say "well this event happened, and what i was feeling at the tiem i will never truely know, because that is unreliable, but i know how i feel right now, when i think about it..." an then make a conscious decision not to let a memory rule your future or your present.

THe problem is the OP is very upset at this false memory syndrome society, adn therefore believes that anyone who does not 100% believe every recovered memory is completely true and accurate MUST be some sort of card carrying member, and then believes taht every card carrying member must then support pedophilia...

just as every catholic hates gays (ermmm very not true) and every muslim is a terrorist (again very not true) ...

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I generally just lurk on this site, but the questions seemed too specific to me to not answer. So here it goes:

1. Definitely not

2. Absolutely. Despite having many friends I rarely allow people to get truly close to me. It takes a lot of work on their part to get to my core.

3. Yes. I wouldn't allow anybody to hug me from as early as I can remember till my late teens.

4. I have been masturbating since as long as I can remember (earliest proven memory was 4 when my grandma caught me lying prostrate in her coat closet moving my hips side to side. She caught me twice. My parents have also told me I was a strange baby/toddler because I always wanted to be lying on my stomach alone). I masturbated an average of two times a day for my entire life (4-23).

5. I am asexual. I am recently married and thought I would be able to have sex when the time was right, but found out on my wedding night that I was completely terrified of the idea. I started hyperventilating and getting sick just thinking about it. Still haven't gotten past that.

6. Yes. I do what my wife and I call, shutting down. When things turn to stressful I mentally check out.

Obviously, there are many different ways and reasons that people become AB/DL. However, given my particular circumstances I have always wondered if I had experienced a repressed CSA. I'll probably never know for sure, but the OPs story definitely struck a chord with me.

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