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Joining The Incontinent


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I have to admit: I don’t really know how to start this out. I’ve decided to go 24/7. Actually, I’ve decided to join Blake and others in pursuit of incontinence.

About six months ago I started having problems with bed wetting. Some of you may have seen my other posts on the subject.

For those who haven’t, I wet the bed into my late teens. I’ve been dry at night, though, for almost 25 years. That includes periods of excessive alcohol intake, prescription sleep aids, prescribed narcotics with steroids, etc. It even includes a period of a year with my ex-wife that I actively "tried" to become a bed-wetter. Nothing in 25 years caused a wet bed until six months ago.

The sudden recurrence of bedwetting scared the hell out of me. I’ve been to multiple docs and a shrink trying to find an answer. I've had tubes stuck places nobody should ever have tubes stuck... I reeled when a smokin' hot female med-student followed a urologist into my room. It's been less than pleasant...

A few months ago I thought I noticed that I was going to the bathroom a lot more than I used to. I wrote it off to hypersensitivity. A few weeks later I thought I noticed that I went from nothing to urgent a lot faster than I used to. Again, I wrote it off to hypersensitivity.

A month-ish ago I had my first daytime accident. It wasn’t minor. Thank God It was just me and my wife at home… Needless to say, that messed with me BAD for several weeks.

Finally, though, I realized that this is something I’ve been fantasizing about for decades. I can still remember, in exquisite detail, my feelings when I found out I’d outgrown the largest diapers/plastic pants and would have to live with a wet bed. I clearly remember wishing, as a child, that they made diapers my size.

I’ve decided that, like the guy who loses a few hairs and decides to shave his head, I’m going to embrace this. It’s time to go 24/7. I don't want drugs or, God forbid, surgery. My wife is an AMAZING person, and supports me fully. I’m one seriously lucky dude.

I’d like to journal this, because it’s important to me. I won’t pretend that it’s important to general knowledge, as my case is flawed. i.e., I realize that I may end up incontinent whether I decide this or not. Regardless, I’m hoping for support and understanding, and maybe something I experience can help someone else.

I don’t plan to post daily. Weekly is more my speed, but I’ll adjust to interest.

I just want to do this on my terms and see where it goes.

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Good Luck in your pursuit. I wish you well and it's great that you have a supportive wife, i'm sure it will make your journey easier and maybe shorter. I too went 24/7 a few years back and now am totally Diaper dependant and no regrets about my decision to do so. Like you i also started having some accidents both daytime and nightime and just felt that wearing diapers fulltime would be the best for me and it is. Once again Good Luck and keep the updates coming.

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It's great to read that you are "turning lemons into lemonade" and also that you have a wonderful, supportive and understanding wife. If only the Doctors would understand and support your decision to manage this issue without medication. Good luck!

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Good luck as you begin your journey. I have been 24/7 for a little over 10 months now, although not by choice.

The biggest thing I can suggest, is to have back up for when things get tough.

Find people you can talk to to help you through this process.

I didnt have any choice in the matter, and I can tell you, that there have been some extremely difficult adjustment periods.

I honestly yhink that if I had a choice, I might have given up.

But, I made it through those times, and today, this is an easily managed situation for me.

I read Blakes posts a lot, and they helped as well.

I really had to remind myself at times, that I actually enjoy wearing diapers.

Let me know if you have any adjustment questions, i certainly have a lot of tips to make 24/7 manageable.

We can also talk in chat or messenger if you like.

Good Luck!

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Thanks for the support, guys! Turning lemons into lemonade is exactly what this is about, and so far it's working, lol!

The first week was definitely interesting. Wearing at the office is both more and less difficult than I imagined. Logistically, it's easier. There's a single occupant bathroom in our lobby that's seldom used, easy to get to, and out of everyone's sight. That makes changing easy.

I've told pretty much everyone that's important to me that I've been battling incontinence for the past six months and that nothing seems to be working. The first of those conversations had my stomach in my throat, but it got easier each time and my friends/family have been unanimously supportive. Telling people serves two purposes: First, it completely killed my anxiety. I am SO much happier not having to worry about a secret. Second, it helps lock me in and reinforce my new "definition of self."

I cut up and pitched every pair of underwear I own. That was a blast, lol!

Yesterday, my wife and I went shopping for new dress pants that'll do a better job of concealing things. I picked up 2 each of 3 pair so that I can carry a back-up in my diaper bag should I have a leak...

I probably have another week or so before my order of cloth diapers show up. I plan to wear primarily cloth at home to try and help lower costs. In the meantime, I'm varying between Bambinos and Abenas.

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Glad it's going well for you. I do like the approach of revealing your secret on your own terms and times; this builds allies who will help defuse the situation if unwanted discovery happens :thumbsup: Cloth can be an 'away' option if you can deal with the need to return home with the wet ones. Ziploc bags work well for this so long as you seal them carefully. Put that into a plastic grocery bag and presto- quick unremarkable discretion ;) Disposables are easier to deal with though. Also if the cloth diapers aren't quite enough, use a disposable stuffer; baby diapers can work and many like the Bambino Quadro (sp?). By starting with a stuffer and simply removing it when it's soaked then going without, you can extend the wear-time of cloth diapers considerably B) In time you will discover what works best for you and your lifestyle :D

Bettypooh

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Yesterday, my wife and I went shopping for new dress pants that'll do a better job of concealing things. I picked up 2 each of 3 pair so that I can carry a back-up in my diaper bag should I have a leak...

I found that pleated slacks one or two waist sizes bigger than your normal size work good at hiding the diaper bulge.

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I second all of this! I'm urge incontinent and decided to support being in diapers. I can't find a urologist who will accept it. I wear cloth at night (recently started and liking it), and wear disposables during the day. I even wear dress slacks one size larger to make my diapers more discrete. Although (shamed), I do still have a few pairs of undies tucked in the back of my dresser mostly because of "you never know" (I did use them under my diapers after a vesoctemy once).

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Pleated slacks a size larger than I normally wear is exactly what I ended up with, so I'll definitely 2nd that advice! :)

Bettypooh, I like the idea of using cloth as much as possible, and size 6 toddler diapers as inserts do seem to work pretty well for me, so I'll give that a shot. It won't do me much good when I'm traveling, but for local stuff where I'll be home at the end of the day I imagine it'll work just fine. Thanks for the idea!

I'm of the opinion that my doc doesn't need to know this is a "choice." I don't intend to go back to the uro for 4-6 months. By then, I should have measurable symptoms. I'll follow all of his recommendations for testing, but nothing he prescribes will do much good (since they'll never leave the bag I bring them home from the pharmacy in). When he starts talking surgery, I'll tell him I'm out. "Thanks for trying."

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Id suggest having him give you an array of samples. Cheaper on your wallet. You can Toss the samples of keep them. In any case. You just need the magic words. "too many side effects" try 2-4 samples. Give up.

Route I took. Able to see urologist and even my parents, one of whom is a family practice doc said 33% of people are unable to tolerate drugs.

-Blake-

PS. Nice to have some company.

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Good luck on your journey! I have been 24/7 diapers for a year and eight months and I am still far far far from the goal.

I have yet to figure out how to release naturally. As a result I always have to bear down to start and it is mostly a flood.

On the two times I have gone without diapers just to see what it would be like, I felt like I needed to urinate every two minutes, so much that there was literally nothing in my bladder and I still felt the need. My uretha actually started to hurt. So I told my wife I would rather just stay in the diapers.

She believes I am urge incon and that i feel that need to go constantly, which isn't wrong. The irony is that it is only when out of diapers.

I would love to help support you and to learn some tricks from Blake who managed in 4 months to train himself.

Thanks for sharing, Diaper Preacher(long time reader)

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hello mahleedl,

I'm happy to read you began a journey to become incontinent. I wanted it for some week ago but I realized I was not ready. I hope you are! I think a good support is the most important to take a good start.

I think also as Blake and [That site] said you must reconsider yourself as incontinent ever when you're feeling is down. be strength in your head... I sure you are but in life it's easy to forget.

I thought that could change a lot of things like job relation ship especially if you have to take responsibilities... Some time human nature could be ugly so you have to be strength and prepared.

I'm not sure but I think it's easier to become incontinent the more your job is calm (eg desk job), you could not clench up easier. unlike if you have to walk a lot (eg factory or other)

I wish you the best in your journey ;)

Steph

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Been an interesting few days, if not particularly eventful. I've told a few of the folks who already knew I was having issues that the docs have moved from short-term fix mentality to long-term management.

I'm also battling my first rash, though its minor. A blend of A&D, triple anti-biotic, and Desetin seems to be doing the trick, I hope... I have to be careful with the stuff at night because the oils are no good for plastic/rubber pants.

I have to admit that I've been pleasantly surprised at how easily I've adjusted to 24x7 wear (at least so far). It'll be two weeks tomorrow, and with the exception of the first couple days at the office, I've been completely comfortable in every situation. I think talking to as many people as I did helped that. Most of the time I'm wearing Bambino Biancos. If I'm headed out and want a little more discretion, I'm using Abena Air-Plus L2's. Nights are cloth over Bianco with rubber pants over that.

Hopefully I'll have a bunch more cloth by mid-week and then most of my daytime wear will be cloth only.

I've got work to do on "letting go" sitting down. Going standing up is already almost thoughtless. Sitting down still takes a lot of concentration. We went to The Hobbit tonight (awesome, by the way!) and 2 hours in I still hadn't gone. I finally had to close my eyes and focus for a couple mins to relax. I did NOT, however, have to bear down. Hopefully that'll get easier. I think I may need to find an alternative to the rubber pants I like so much, though. I like wearing them when I head out to reduce my odds of a leak. Problem is they're too tight. I think the compression is making the situation more difficult.

All-in-all I've learned a bunch this week, and all of it's pretty funny stuff for a 40 yo dude to be learning, lol. I've got lots more left in front of me!

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I ordered the Kins velcro diapers. I'd planned on wearing disposables most of the times I'm away from home, but I'm thinking about trying cloth, especially when I'm out for less than a full day. I'm thinking that I can probably get 4+ hours between changes if I use a toddler diaper stuffer and pitch it once saturated... "Plan A" is still disposables, but "Plan B" is worth checking out, as its a lot less expensive in the long run...

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Ok, here's a question for ya:

I've got like 8 months to figure this out, so no rush...

Every year in August I have a canoe trip with a bunch of buddies. This event dates back 20+ years. These are some of my closest friends in the world, and I've told each and every one of them that I'm "having problems."

Most of the day is spent sitting in a canoe drinking beer. 2-3 times, we'll stop on the river and jump in for a swim.

How the hell do I handle this situation? lol!

I can't wear my "normal" protection, because getting in the river will water log it, never mind that it'll be painfully obvious that I'm wearing a diaper under my shorts... A swim diaper "might" work, but I can't imagine they're all that absorbent, so if I'm in the canoe long enough between dunkings in the river... hmmm...

I'm not concerned about my buddies. They know. I'm concerned about everyone else on the river, which is a lot of people, lol.

Like I said: I have a lot of time to figure this out. Suggestions?

Do I need to just say F-it?

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Swim Diapers are designed to contain fecal incontinence- they don't do much for urinary leakage. This is one of those few things which will require a major change in your mind-set or lifestyle because of being Incontinent :whistling: First, don't swim in a disposable. Not only will it instantly be saturated, the padding will likely soon disintegrate and make a huge mess as it falls out of the cover :o Cloth will not disintegrate, but you'll need a change PDQ when you get out of the water. Perhaps you can find a close-by secluded spot for the needed changes ;) You can remove your diaper before jumping in and re-diaper when you are done. Your leakage won't be noticed between swims unless your suit or shorts dry out, so you can jump in often to delay that time, but at some point it must happen and you can't avoid it.

There are a few times and places such as this where your incontinence may end up leaving you little choice as to having some public exposure which you can either accept and handle appropriately or choose to not go there so that no problem like this arises. One recent thread here had a similar problem noted, where the member had a long walk to the seaside from the nearest private place where he could change. He couldn't make it that far without wetting, and of course on the beach between swims his suit or shorts would dry out and show the urine leakage. Nobody could offer much more than this as a solution. In his case another beach might allow him better changing options, but he wanted to go to that particular beach where this was the unavoidable situation.

Everything in life affects something else to some degree, so you may have to decide which thing matters most to you and accept the negative effects it has elsewhere to have something. Some years back, my then employer invited me to a day on the lake in his boat with his Fiance' and another co-worker, and I wanted to go. At the time I was handling my leakage with home-made pads in my panties (I work as a male ;) ) and while I could wear my swimsuit under my pants to avoid exposure which would work fine through the day, when we docked at the end in I would have to change to street clothes again and there was really no place to do that in complete privacy. More a problem was that other co-workers would be at that campsite when we got back- something that occurred only after I arrived so I couldn't plan for that :( On getting back I waited a few minutes with food and a soda till a couple people drifted away to the shore with the others deep in conversation together, ducked behind my car and I changed clothes in record time :lol: That's tough to do with your fingers crossed for luck, believe me :roflmao: I made it with seconds to spare before one guy came around the corner looking for a place to pee. It was risky but I wanted to go boating so I took the risk.

Today with me needing a minimum of pull-ups it would be a different game altogether. To be honest, I would do the same thing since in my almost 3 years of wearing 24/7 I have become comfortable with who I am and what I do concerning diapers. It's still something i avoid exposing out of modesty, but there is no shame in needing diapers and dealing with incontinence issues unless you accept shame for it. You're going to have to build that kind of attitude in yourself or there will be times of regret waiting ahead of you, and to me regret is more shameful than diapers are. That's your call- decide which matters most to you, then live your life as happily as you can B) Regrets really suck!

Bettypooh

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A geezer squeezer! I should have thought of that, though damn... that might be a bit uncomfortable for 6-8 hours... lol

I might have to order one of those and give it a shot...

Bettypooh, you're spot-on, as always. I made my decision with a clear an understanding of what I was agreeing to as one can have without actually experiencing it. I'll accept the consequences. Still, perhaps creative solutions can be found, and a cunningham clamp might be just the thing... :)

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Drat- I thought I'd covered everything :P Our site owner here DD himself has posted a bit about using a 'Cunningham Clamp", and I think most of us with the male appendage have done something similar with our fingers at some point to not 'go everywhere' till we were pointed in the right direction which should give you an idea of how it would feel already :whistling: It is not meant for long term holding- it is a short-term solution but that might be enough to get you to and from a changing spot without diapers or wet pants B)

Bettypooh

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Not sure how this might work, but if your friends know about your diapers anyway, maybe this? Wear a small swimsuit, not quite a speedo, but small, then put on a cloth diaper and plastic pants over it! Then shorts or something over everything. When you wet, sure, the small suit next to your body will get wet (just like a cloth diaper or cloth undies), but then the wetness will just flow through the suit and into your diaper as normal. When you are ready to take the swim, maybe you can just slip the cloth diaper, plastic pants and shorts off in the canoe and you will have a suit already on. Sure it will be wet from your pee, but it will get wet anyway as soon as you jump in the river! It will even kind of get cleaned of pee by swimming for a while! When you get done swimming, towel off and dry the swimsuit with the towel as well. My swimsuits aill usually air dry in the sun within about 10 minute of getting out of the water. Or, you could slip your outer shorts and maybe even the plastic pants off and swim in your diaper and the suit you are wearing under that diaper. When you are done and before getting out of the water, slide your cloth diaper off and then you will be wearing just the inner swimsuit when you get out of the river. Since this is August, I expect it will be warm and sunny out, so maybe sit on shore or in the canoe for a short while and then slip your diaper, plastic pants and shorts back on, or if you did the second suggestion, pin a dry diaper on over your suit and put the plastic pants and shorts back on. This should allow you to swim either without needing your diaper on or with your diaper, but also make it so you can take your diaper off and put one back on without being naked on the river in front of friends or any others who may happen along. By the way, is it a canoe trip on the Pine River? Been there and done that many years ago! 9 hour trip down the river and boy, was that river cold! You'll probably need to carry some supplies in a big waterproof bag, like a trash bag. Towel to dry off with, bag to put your wet diaper in and bag to keep dry diapers in.

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I pratice canoe but not diapered (please dont damn me :unsure:) so I suggest to wear a shorty suit with simples retangular diaper pad a good waterproof plastic pant.

I'm pretty sure swiming diaper pant could work as well. Maybe your skin has to be shaved where the pant make waterproof and you should use water suit to avoid water flooding to get into your pant.

waterproof bag are often used in water sport, you can bring with you all disposable and cloth you need.

If you dive any disposable or coth should resist. In this case you must remove before all absorbant product...

If your friends know you are incontinent they should understand you need a quick moment before swim with us.

I hope that is helpful for you.

Steph

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Not sure how this might work, but if your friends know about your diapers anyway, maybe this? Wear a small swimsuit, not quite a speedo, but small, then put on a cloth diaper and plastic pants over it! Then shorts or something over everything. When you wet, sure, the small suit next to your body will get wet (just like a cloth diaper or cloth undies), but then the wetness will just flow through the suit and into your diaper as normal. When you are ready to take the swim, maybe you can just slip the cloth diaper, plastic pants and shorts off in the canoe and you will have a suit already on. Sure it will be wet from your pee, but it will get wet anyway as soon as you jump in the river! It will even kind of get cleaned of pee by swimming for a while! When you get done swimming, towel off and dry the swimsuit with the towel as well. My swimsuits aill usually air dry in the sun within about 10 minute of getting out of the water. Or, you could slip your outer shorts and maybe even the plastic pants off and swim in your diaper and the suit you are wearing under that diaper. When you are done and before getting out of the water, slide your cloth diaper off and then you will be wearing just the inner swimsuit when you get out of the river. Since this is August, I expect it will be warm and sunny out, so maybe sit on shore or in the canoe for a short while and then slip your diaper, plastic pants and shorts back on, or if you did the second suggestion, pin a dry diaper on over your suit and put the plastic pants and shorts back on. This should allow you to swim either without needing your diaper on or with your diaper, but also make it so you can take your diaper off and put one back on without being naked on the river in front of friends or any others who may happen along. By the way, is it a canoe trip on the Pine River? Been there and done that many years ago! 9 hour trip down the river and boy, was that river cold! You'll probably need to carry some supplies in a big waterproof bag, like a trash bag. Towel to dry off with, bag to put your wet diaper in and bag to keep dry diapers in.

This sounds like a big challenge.

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