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Critiques and Writer's Discussion

For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.


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    • "This is not about being early for your interview, Sarah.  If we miss this bus, I lose the chance completely.  Honestly.  You should have been up an hour ago!" They get on the bus, and he shakes his head at her uncaring attitude.  He realized that he thought she was eleven years old though, so sighed and gathered himself.  Of course a child doesn't know any better.  For all he knew, she was never held to any kind of schedule because she was likely neglected or something. "Just keep yourself dry," he told her as they got on the bus.  "If you do, we can start letting you wear your undies again instead of what you have on." They took a seat, and he sat there wondering why the child was always being so selfish about things.  Was he being too soft on her?  She didn't act like a mistreated foster kid, to be honest, or at least, not the way he'd imagined a foster kid going through something like that would be.  If anything, she seemed to act like a spoiled princess all the time.   He looked at her for a few seconds, shook his head and opened his notes.  He had to prepare for this.  This job was important.  Spoiled or not, he could correct that later.  Right now, he couldn't take care of her at all if he didn't get the job.
    • A really sweet chapter.  I feel pretty confident that Sam is regressing further only because she wants Nina to love her and the only way she sees that happening is if Nina cares for her like a mommy does for her baby. At this point I hope that when they do return, things remain as they are right now for them.  This is an awesome story Elfy and I feel the ending is coming soon. I have really enjoyed it so far and look forward to seeing how it ends. 
    • I would say the legs under my ABDL table, in terms of routine, are: - Always wear a diaper - Change it when it needs to be changed or when it gets uncomfortable - Thou shalt apply diaper cream at every change - Thou shalt shower daily, more so if something egregious happens in thy diaper  - Treat diaper rash seriously and immediately    Everything else is the sauce and the side dishes; the steak, for me, is wearing diapers. I wouldn't enjoy sleeping with a pacifier if I didn't also have a diaper on.   
    • She was licensed to practice medicine in Maine, not NH.  These licenses do not transmit across state lines, any more than a license to practice law in one state permits you to practice it in another.   Again, she was hit hard because she does not have a license to practice medicine in NH.  The business was never going to fly because she was never going to get a Special Use Permit to operate this business in an R-1 district.  
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