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Critiques and Writer's Discussion

For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.


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    • "Oh, you shouldn't worry about trying to repeat your mommy... I know exactly what you need." She whispered and kissed her cheek. "I'll be your girlfriend, and you'll be my baby girl, see?" She explained as she led the embarrassed little thing to the kitchen. She made her sit in a big high chair she sometimes used in her videos, and then she got to cooking, swaying her hips and showing off the curves of her butt to her captive audience. She was even brazen enough to put the laxative powder in her food without hiding the act, though she knew the baby would be too embarrassed to ask what it was. 
    • Every time the word was used, a little burst of steam popped out of Dahlia’s head along with her freckled face turned one shade deeper of red. Too precious! ”g-girl…” she tried to ask about it but she couldn’t even get the entire word out! She repeatedly tripped and stumbled over her words. She really must be a baby girl in disguise if talking was so difficult!
    • Francine shrugged. "Well, since you seem so content without your trousers, I suppose it's settled." She said with a big grin and kissed her neck. "Come now, silly creature. You must be hungry after making such a big mess! And what kind of a GIRLFRIEND would I be if I didn't feed you?" She asked softly, though throwing a lot of emphasis on that g-word. 
    • Dahlia listened intently until her brain went blank. It was hung up on one single word. GIRLFRIEND?! D-did she mean like a girlfriend girlfriend or just a friend that is also a girl?! She can’t just throw that word around willy-nilly, right?! Dahlia was as easy to read as a baby book so Francine, in no time at all, was able to discern the origin of her surprised expression. Time to capitalize!
    • "Well, you see my dear, I CAN do whatever I'd like with you, since you ARE staying in my house for free..." she teased and gave her a playful smirk. "But you see, I am a merciful girlfriend, and so... You can choose." She stated softly. "If you really want to cover up, I won't stop you... But it means you might not get changed right away since I won't notice your mess through your pants." She shrugged. 
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