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Critiques and Writer's Discussion
For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.
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By liddlekitkat · Posted
she flinches as her face seemingly looses its scowl. something in her says that she should cry but she resist that instinct I'm not a baby and he's not my dad, she tells herself. But she can feel her eyes beginning to water. she forces them back down and finally manages to speak. "sorry, i didn't mean it." she wanted to be defiant shes an adult and doesn't deserve this but shes in public and theres already enough eyes on her. She feels the need to tell him everything but this just isn't the time or place. Right now she just wants her two feet back on the ground. -
Wow, okay... Horthensia seems to be sinking and fast. I hope Jenny will be able to find why and how to help her. I fear for Jenny's capacity to wistand the pressure if even the neighbors start to have despicable attitudes like in this chapter. I can't wait to see what happens next. Cheers ! -
An excellent story, thoughtfully written and very cute indeed. Hope others will follow! -
You are an amazing author I hope you keep this story up it's the most entertaining read I've read for a while the dominant Mommy little boy is not really my preference, it is very well written and it actually is taking shape to be an actual story like novels so I mean you might be able to do this for a living if you want to give up math and engineering; sorry I'm sick at math. I do well with applied stuff like electrical but that level of math theory has well passed,taken the few brain cells I have left
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