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diapered_jeff48801

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  1. Any massager will do. I'm using a shiatsu neck massager. Just lay down and gently put it on your bladder (In the area below your belly button and above your pubic bone) for a few minutes. You know you're at the right place when you feel the urge to pee.
  2. Shy bladder is the worst! I am too working through it with the goal of untraining. I feel your frustration because I live it. I have recently found something that is helping me! Timers in conjunction with bladder massages. I have a timer set for every 15 minutes. I drink plenty of water to ensure I have enough pee to go every 15 minutes. If I am at home and alone, I will press on my bladder after the timer goes off, which stimulates the urge to go, and makes it easier to go. I also take around 30-60 minutes daily to train my bladder. I start with drinking 16 oz of water, then a 10 oz coffee, then another 16 oz water, put on some music or something, and then use a shiatsu neck massager on my bladder for about 10-15 minutes, once that's done my bladder is usually so relaxed I can pee without any difficutly, and for awhile after I'm able to easily spurt & dribble. I just started doing this a couple of days ago, but I'm hoping if I do it long enough my bladder will finally get the hint and stop being so shy all the time!
  3. This morning I did my first hold. I got up having to pee, then drank 16 oz of water, then a 10 oz coffee, waited for about 20 minutes, then drank another 16 oz water. I was feeling pretty full after the first hour, but not desperate.

    I had been sipping on my water bottle, and decided to have another 10 oz mocha coffee. After that I sipped on my water for the next half hour as a grew more and more full, after about an hour and 45 minutes since starting the hold, I was desperate.

    About 10 minutes until the 2 hour mark I couldn't even sit down or barely move because the pressure and discomfort was so intense.

    About 5 minutes to the 2 hour mark I felt some pee slip into my training pants. Over the next few minutes it would happen a couple more times before I lost control and flooded my training pants and my PJ's.

    The release in pressure felt absolutely amazing, I thought about trying to stop the flow but I couldn't because my bladder was so tired. I completely soaked myself and the pads in the floor.

    I put on a pull up and after a few minutes more pee came out.

    A few minutes later as I was throwing my clothes in the Washing Machine I flooded my pullup without any warning and leaked all over the floor.

    I guess my bladder was exhausted. All in all I only lasted two hours after around 48 oz of liquid and whatever was already in my bladder from the night before.

  4. I chose other because for me it's about returning to a state I should've never left. For the longest time I've always felt something was wrong, and until a few years ago I couldn't put it into words. Now I realize that what was wrong is that I was potty trained, and I feel like that was a mistake. I've always had control, but at the same time I felt like I was bad at potty training. I'd always make weird little mistakes. I'd accidentally miss the toilet a little while standing in front it because I spaced out. I somehow get the back of pants wet when sitting on the toilet in just the right way that my stream went through the little space between the seat and the bowl. I even remember being at a urinal, and somehow getting the side of my zipper wet, and the splashback, oh my goodness the splashback from the urinals. I was also always nervous about using public toilets around others, and having IBS as a kid meant I always took so long in the bathroom when it came to number 2, and I was always getting in trouble for it. I was introduced to diapers when I was 7 and would constantly wake up in the middle of the night because of my small overactive bladder. I had an abusive family member that would always yell at me and punish me for coming down the stairs to go pee because it would wake him, and so I took a cousins diaper one day and the rest is history. TLDR: I should've never be toilet trained.
  5. That's the wild thing about all this, the thought it requires to stay dry, the fear that if I don't pay attention I'll have an accident, even though that's never happened. And even though we CAN stay dry, our brains are telling us "I don't think so." That's a great way to describe it too, burdensome. I remember before i started untraining that I never thought about staying dry, I could wear undies without thinking about my bladder. But now if I dare to do so, I'm hypersensitive, and constantly worried that if I lose focus something might come out on its own. Whereas diapers allow me to distract myself without worry.
  6. I tried this and couldn't make it through the day. Not because I wet, but because I was constantly anxious and physically uncomfortable with having to hold. I also notice that my urges are so much stronger, but like you said, not a lot comes out, and not as forcefully as it used to. And those post void dribbles that you don't feel coming out are quite the trip. And that's even though still have functional daytime control! It feels so weird to not be using my diaper, and agree that it's so much more enjoyable.
  7. I've always known that I wanted to be back in diapers, but I also don't really remember having thoughts about becoming incontinent when I was a child or teen. I just wanted to wear and use them all the time. I do remember having the thought in my 20's as a way to "justify" my wearing diapers although now I know I don't need to justify anything. As I'm sure everyone here has experienced, it took a lot of time and inner reflection to realize, understand and accept what I've really wanted all along, but didn't understand at the time.
  8. It's pretty important. I'm excited about the idea of becoming permanently incontinent and I'm trying to make it happen as we speak. After long reflection about my lifestyle and my lifelong relationship with diapers I came to the realization that this is how I need to be, and should've been all my life. My only concerns have been careerwise, financial, and in regards to my marriage. On all of that, my mostly vanilla partner is very supportive and even participates in both wearing diapers and engaging in omo play. Financially, we're doing well enough despite some financial downs as of late. It helped that I have a massive diaper stash (at least six months worth) and career I'm doing quite well. So without all of those concerns I have to agree with you in wanting nothing less than total and permanent incontinence. I'm aiming for bladder but if bowel happens too I'd be fine with it, maybe it will help with my IBS-C. TLDR version; I'm excited about being complete incon in my bladder and it's so important that I'm working on getting there.
  9. Ideally, option three, but like @cathdiap option four would also be good but only if she enjoyed.
  10. Like a lot of you here, I found out around seven (lucky 7's amiright?) I'm sure I had been interested before then, but never got the opportunity to wear until one day after cousin stayed over. He was still in diapers and after he had gone, there was one of the spare disposables his mom brought sitting out in the open, and I couldn't get it out of my head, I was drawn to it. Finally, one night I got up in the middle of the night and took it for myself, wore it and from then on was in love. I actually got caught by my brother who I am sure told everyone, but aside from him endlessly teasing me, no one else said anything about it. From then on, I was hooked and had taken diapers from any place I had access to until they no longer fit. In my teen years I went through a lot of guilt and shame over the whole thing, but still kept going back to them, finally at 18 I bought my own depends (pull-ups) and then when I moved out into my own apartment I went hog wild, trying and buying all sorts of diapers, first proper taped diapers from the drugstore, and then discovering that I could order them online. Sadly I went through some binge and purge cycles in that time, but finally in my 30's I had access to diapers and a partner who understood and accepted me, and now I'm 24/7.
  11. I'm having a hard time finding files that just encourage loss of bladder control day/night without adding regression suggestions. As a DL I haven't seen a lot of options in that regard.
  12. I went with option 3 as I have the desire but are not yet considered to be "incontinent." I've been wearing diapers 24/7 for roughly 8 months now and my desire to wear and lose control is just as strong as when I started. The only changes in my mind that I've noticed are that I'm not as sexually excited with wearing as I used to be. Instead that feeling has been replaced with the satisfaction and contentedness of knowing that I am in diapers at all times and that is where I belong For me becoming functionally incon (automatically using my diapers without a thought) will only reinforce those feelings of satisfaction and contentedness.
  13. @Stuffie Snake I'm sorry you've had to deal with this, but it looks like you're making a good choice for yourself. And that's something to be proud of. If 'giving in' means finally being able to be comfortable with yourself and not stressed out, then it seems like a no-brainer. I feel terrible that your condition has caused you such pain. I say why feel shame for something you cannot control? It's not your fault you were left to deal with this, and while it's far from ideal, you should make the best of it, and accept that it's okay to wear protection. I see it similar to wearing glasses, sure I've been made fun of for wearing glasses, but I can see, and that helps me live a better life. Diapers are the same! They'll let you live a better life. As far as the fear of being found out, I've been wearing thick medical diapers for the last four months and to my knowledge no one notices. But what IS noticeable is making a mad dash to the bathroom constantly, and even more noticeably what happens if you don't make it. I couldn't imagine running back and forth to the bathroom, and constantly being paranoid and needing to know where the toilets are at all times. It just doesn't sound like an enjoyable life, and that's not to mention the embarrassment of noticeably having an accident. Thank you for sharing your story, and being so open and honest about your experience. Know that you are supported.
  14. I timed a change, took me 2 minutes. Those two minutes involved: Taking off the diaper, wiping myself down, powdering the new diaper and putting it on, then rolling up the old and disposing of it properly in my diaper pail across the room. If I were to add getting the diaper and supplies out, getting if fluffed and folded, taking off and putting on pants, I could see a change taking from 3-4 minutes. Caveats, I was already not wearing pants, was only wet, and had my diaper and supplies already out, plus I was moving faster than I usually do.
  15. lol yeah I have a couple of pairs, but I rarely ever use them. That certainly would add changing time. Oh yeah, fellow ADHD'r here. I generally try to get it done as quickly as possible to get back to whatever I am hyperfocusing on, but I understand distraction. I'll time my next change and see what I come up with, maybe I'm overestimating my power, lol.
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