Welcome to DD Matt, I can kind of relate to what you are saying, I have tried to forget about this side of me in the past as I have told people about it and they just think I am strong and they can't understand me but at the end of the day it is a part of who I am and it probably always will be so I have learnt to accept it although I did find it hard at first. Don't let it get you down, just take your time with it, it does get easier.