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I can barly describe how depressed I actually am. Ive been suicidal since I was 5 my family harrasses me verbally and nonverbally all the time. Im under so much stress and Ive been so depressed for 14 years of my lifethat I act happy all the time and I constantly hit my head on stuff to just ease my mental pain just a little. Honestly I want to die but I dont want to stop living either. All everyone thag I talk to in person herts me either physically or mentally. I am to much of a chicken to slit my throat or jump infront of a car. I dont do drugs and I dont understand why I get treated the way I do nor how to cope with it. I cant wear diapers all the time or I will regret not committing suicide sooner. Every joke I make towards my family is met with harshness as if I broke the law. All I want to do is cry and cry and cry. But my tearducts are almost broken from how much of it I hold back. I scared a guy before because I told him that I was suicidal and that I was thinking of killing myself right then and there. Its the way Ive been broken by my parents. Ive also been living in fear of my entire family so much I get scared when they walk by my doir or they open a door. I need someone to help me.

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That's the thing about depression, it can be very hard for someone on the inside of your life to see it. Thank you for sharing all that. If your family is the source of so much emotional turmoil, is it possible you can distance yourself from them? You shouldn't have to feel this way, 37. Nobody should have to feel how you feel.

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I feel for you and wish I could give you a solution but the words just won't come today. Depression can be like that :( I do think you'd do well to search out a Therapist you feel comfortable with. They can't fix your problems but they can help you get through them and they understand how depression affects us. It's like a 'death spiral' when flying; what you think is happening is not what's actually happening and as you try harder to set things right yourself they only get worse :( To keep from crashing you need to get some guidance and work through the problems till you can manage life well enough to be happy again. Nobody deserves to be stuck with depression but some of us are. There is help but you've got to ask for it and accept it. I hope you'll do that. Life can be better, honest! B)

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Life can really suck and I find it actually sucks most of the time, im working on making my life better by working at my current job, though recently making a certain product is part of my misery, also sucks that the temp agency says the company I work directly for is downsizing (hoping its not for long as my little brother is basically laid off and him not working means I have to pay more of the bills), I must say having professional help can help a lot, if I didn't get professional help I may still be cutting myself. Here's to hoping things improve (you have to put work into it though)

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Life does suck, being around others sucks, your pay isn't enough for what you do, and it will never get better. This is the reality of EVERYONE. Try putting it in comparison and you'll see your life isn't as bad a some other people. Why do you ting your friend never knew you were depressed; because in comparison you really aren't. They keep on going, and so can you. This is the nature of life its self, we all struggle with who we are and why we are here. It is also the nature of life to keep going against all odds for that is also who we are.

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Life does suck, being around others sucks, your pay isn't enough for what you do, and it will never get better. This is the reality of EVERYONE. Try putting it in comparison and you'll see your life isn't as bad a some other people. Why do you ting your friend never knew you were depressed; because in comparison you really aren't. They keep on going, and so can you. This is the nature of life its self, we all struggle with who we are and why we are here. It is also the nature of life to keep going against all odds for that is also who we are.

I dont have a job thats one of my issues. I simply cannot do anything about an income since I have none.

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I dont have a job thats one of my issues. I simply cannot do anything about an income since I have none.

ive been there like 7 months ago, could not find a job anywhere for a whole year, it sucks that most places seem to be a complete waste of time, I only had interviews at two places in that year, neither one gave me a shot.
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A lot of life is in how you see things. Being out of work sucks, but it also means all your options are open and you have no restrictions on your time so you can do anything anytime to generate a few dollars to help you get by till you do get a job ;) If you spend every waking moment in trying to find work something will show up soon- it takes more than a casual approach to keep going when things are rough, and while your resources are limited you have to make the best of the one you have the most of: time B) Focus on finding work and you'll have less time to think about what life is like right now which can add to your depression. See every "no" not as rejection, but as getting one step closer to hearing a "yes" :thumbsup: Even if you feel bad, don't let that show- put on a smile, muster all the hope you can, and get out there and live life leaving no stone unturned in your quest for a job and for a better life. Be stubborn till you succeed and don't leave time for depression to grab even more of you. See yourself succeeding and you'll find a way to make it happen. And always rememeber that you're worth the effort :groupwave:

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ive been there like 7 months ago, could not find a job anywhere for a whole year, it sucks that most places seem to be a complete waste of time, I only had interviews at two places in that year, neither one gave me a shot.

Difference is I never got an interview. I got rejected immeditaly.
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Difference is I never got an interview. I got rejected immeditaly.

I never got an interview from dozens of places, the economy sucks and unfortunately it doesn't get better if things stay the same way (companies only seem to want to hire certain types of people, or people related to current employees, and then companies get cheap to limit payout to employees and maximize profits while working employees halfway to death for not enough cash, I work like crazy for 8.75 an hour), a better economy starts with more jobs and higher pay (but apparently not higher minimum wage since I hear when that happens people think "people make more, so I can charge more")
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