I have been trying to relax on my urge incont., but i'm having a hard time. It just seems to be a naturral reflex to try to hold(although it never works). But things are getting better. I tend to wear until my diaper is uncomfortable also. to change at the first sign of wetness is hard to keep up with. Not to mention if you have a heavy void the cheap diapers won't hold up to one void. Molicares, and change when my diaper has had it for me.