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Dannyl

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  1. (Content Warning: Bullying) 2. The “Accident” Theo It was slightly colder today, and it didn’t make sense to stay sitting outside. Mr Cooper had chosen to unlock his classroom early, so Rose, Nate, and I had chosen to chat there instead. Sitting inside the English classroom might have seemed nerdy, but honestly: we were the smart ones. While others froze their butts off outside, we had the warmth of closed doors and windows. It also gave us some extra protection against Max, which was a plus. I’d heard a rumor that there were supposed to be college recruiters coming to the school today. Granted, they would be looking at the sports programs, but it might help to make a good impression on them anyway. Because of that, I’d dressed more smartly than normal, which, for me, is saying something. I wanted to look like the proper lawyer I hoped to become. Instead of my normal backpack, I’d chosen a leather satchel. It didn’t have as much room, but it looked so much better. I was wearing beige pants, and a black suit top. I wanted to wear a tie, but I was told it looked a bit too much. Being back in this room was a little embarrassing for me: I hadn’t got over my juice spilling yet. I absolutely hated looking like a fool, and this room had that sharp reminder. Especially because if you looked closely, you could still see the faint outline of where the puddle had been. Despite all the cleaning I’d tried to do. Anyway, let’s not dwell on that. Onto greener pastures. We were busy discussing novels and the flaws of various characters. Nate had a serious attachment to Harry Potter, which had been torn apart by Rose on multiple occasions. I tried to not choose anything too controversial, and so had a tendency to stick to Marvel characters. My figurines and comics were one of the few things that always moved with me, and so it was easy to discuss them. It was one area I would not accept ridicule about, and Rose had learned that very quickly. See, I can stand up for myself, when things are important. I just didn’t see the point in wasting that energy on Max. Speaking of, I still wanted to know what was going on there. He’d driven the mom car to school the last few days, which was very unlike him. He also seemed moodier than normal. I’d been trying to stay out of his way more than normal, but it wasn’t easy when we shared most classes. I hated how my mind kept going back to him. He shouldn’t be important enough to waste any seconds thinking about. But sometimes when I thought about him, it wasn’t with pure hatred. No, we are not going there. “Theo, hello, is anyone home?” Rose said, waving her hand in front of my eyes. “W-what? Sorry, I blanked out.” “We thought as much. It’s all good. So, pro-Dumbledore, or anti?” “That’s tricky, but I think I have to say anti. Because he—” I didn’t get a chance to finish my sentence. The door opened, and four well-built guys stormed in. Their stomps were obnoxiously loud, sounding like a stampede rather than a small group. “There you are, Ted. We were looking for you. Why were you hiding out here? You scared?” Max jeered, as he walked over to my desk. “What do you want, Max?” Rose and I said at almost the same time. “Now, Teddy, is that really how you should be speaking to me? I’ve only got your best interests at heart, after all.” I glared at him. Since when? “Never mind, we’ll work on that later. For now, I have a present for you.” This was very strange, and definitely didn’t bode well. I tried to ignore the pack, and go back to the conversation. “Like I was saying, I think he was in the wrong. There was no need for him to keep so many secrets.” I stopped speaking as one of the guys in the pack — I think his name was Nick — picked my satchel up off the ground. I stood up. Why the fuck were they messing with my stuff? I was pushed back down into my chair. It hurt: my butt colliding with the hard wood. I noticed that Nate and Rose had tried to interfere, but they were being limited by another of the guys, as well as their shorter heights. There was no way for any of us to reach my satchel. Nick threw the bag at Max, who caught it flawlessly. Their football skills apparently did have a use. Max opened up the satchel, and took out my juice bottle. “I remember a few days ago there was a little leak. I don’t think little boys like you should have a big boy bottle like this. Isn’t that right, guys?” The other three in Max’s Pack laughed and nodded. Max continued, “After all, we wouldn’t want another spill. And little boys are often so messy. So, we came up with a solution.” He revealed a toddler’s sippy cup. It had a bright blue lid, and was transparent. There was a straw sticking out. It looked juvenile, but not terribly so. I laughed. The best way to beat bullies is to beat them at their own game. “Thank you, Max, that is so thoughtful of you. Now I don’t need to worry about my juice leaking.” The guys in Max’s Pack looked shocked for a second. Max just shrugged, and started decanting my juice into the sippy cup. As he put it down on the desk, I noticed there was a Winnie-the-Pooh sticker that had been hiding behind his hand. It made it look a bit more infantile, but I wasn’t going to back down. If Max saw he wasn’t getting to me, he might leave me alone. “So, Teddy, if you are a good boy, and finish all your juice, then we’ll give you your bottle back. But we need to see you finish it. So you can’t hide the sippy cup from us. Is that clear, kiddo?” I rolled my eyes. They were really laying it on thick with the kid thing. He put the sippy cup on my desk, and gently put down my satchel next to me. He looked me in the eyes, daring me to look away. I wanted to, but I also didn’t want to admit defeat. So I kept looking at his eyes. They were a deep, dreamy brown, and they half made me want to swoon. I won’t lie: Max is good looking, even if he is a dick. I eventually turned away, and Max smirked. “Good boy. Now, don’t hide the cup. Keep it there, so everyone can see. Otherwise, who knows what will happen?” He had a glint in his eye, and I squirmed. A sippy cup wasn’t too bad, though. The bell rang, and everyone headed to class. I stayed seated, watching as Rose left the room, and Mr Cooper entered. Max This was not the blow I needed today. I’d worked my butt off for that stupid test, even skipping football practice the day before just to get in extra studying time. And, unfortunately, it hadn’t made an impact at all. As Ms Hill continued handing out the Calculus tests, all I could think about was how much of a disappointment I was. Max, why didn’t you try harder? Come on, this should be easy for you. I could guess the words coming out of my mom’s mouth already. And I just didn’t know what I could change, to get it to make sense. Integrals and derivatives just seemed so abstract, and I couldn’t wrap my head around them. It didn’t help that this wasn’t even a class I wanted to take. I had to take it, because it was supposed to help with my entrance to business school. Not that I wanted to do that either. I was irritable, and I just wanted to lash out. At least there was one good thing about today: I’d been able to swap Theo’s juice bottle with a sippy cup. That had been surprisingly easy. Even though there had been that weird moment. I still didn’t know what to make of it, or how I felt about it. Anyway, thinking about that is not a great way to reduce my anxiety. I needed to play it cool. No-one here needed to know I’d done badly. And hopefully this would all just go away. I knew my shoulders were tense, and, my word, but I missed gym. I tried to pay attention, again, not that it would really make a difference. “Those of you who didn’t do well with the paper, please see me after class. I want to figure out how we can get your marks to improve,” Ms Hill announced. I couldn’t tell if she was deliberately looking at me, or if I was imagining things. I looked down, trying to shrink. That felt wrong to do, but I didn’t really want attention right now. As I did so, I noticed a speck of yellow out of the speck of my eye. It looked like Theo was drinking from the sippy cup. He’d probably done it a bit already, but this was the first time I’d noticed. It was funny, and I stifled a giggle. But at the same time, it seemed almost sweet. He seemed more relaxed as he drank. But maybe I was reading into things. After all, his shoulders still seemed superbly tense. I always wondered what he was so worried about. Surely it can’t just be me? That’s the problem with me: I’m too easily distracted. I’ve never really cared for school, but I was always told it was extremely important. It would have a major impact on my future. The future as a whole is a scary concept. I think that’s why I’m a little jealous of Theo. Just a little. He seems to have everything figured out. He wants to become a lawyer, and he’s put steps in place to achieve that. No-one would support me if I were to say what I wanted to do with my life. I hated how I always had to keep my interests secret. The one school subject I’m incredible at, is the one school subject that I have to hide from everyone. I hate secrets, but my reputation is more important. Theo Gym is the best class in this entire school. I wish every class were gym. Yeah, no. That was sarcasm. It’s something I’ve been trying to work on, because I was told I don’t really pick it up properly. My first week here, I’d taken so many of Rose’s comments at face value, which had been a mistake. Such as me going up to Max’s Pack, and introducing myself, because I was told they were nice. Oh, to be naive and innocent. Unfortunately, gym was a requirement. It was always such a chore. I liked to dress pristinely, and then that all gets taken away, because I need to change into gym shorts. And play with balls for an hour. Oof, maybe I shouldn’t have phrased it like that. But still. I acknowledge that people have different strengths, and I’m not great in that department. That still doesn’t mean I enjoy all the sweat and physical torture they put us through. Watching lots of dodgeballs being thrown at people was not really my idea of fun. It did mean there was less running, which was an advantage. Unfortunately, the likeliness of getting hurt also increased. Thankfully, I am skinny and small, so there’s less of me to hit. It was a game I wasn’t great at, but I could hold my own. When it had got close to the end of the game, and I was still not out, something strange had happened. It was unprecedented, and frankly, just confusing. Max had jumped in front of me, to prevent me from getting hit. Let me repeat that: Max — my bully — had chosen to protect me from a dodgeball. I still couldn’t figure out why, or what his endgame was. Now I felt like I owed him. Maybe that was the point — make the nerd be indebted to the bully? I couldn’t get a clear gage on Max, and that worried me way too much. He liked bullying me. That much was clear. But there also seemed to be something more there, that I couldn’t really put my finger on. Take the sippy cup as an example. It was done maliciously, that was obvious. But, at the same time, there was effort and thought put into that which wouldn’t be typical. I don’t like ambiguity. Greys are problematic — I prefer blacks and whites, because they’re simpler. I couldn’t let Max play mindgames with me. This was my last year of high school, and it was going to be my year. There’s way too much riding on it to let someone like Max stand in my way. I still owed Max a debt, but that should be easy enough to pay back. After all, it was common knowledge that Max was not great in the academic arena. Maybe I could offer him tutoring? Yes, it meant spending more time with Max, and I was in two minds about that. But, at the same time, I needed a way to at least say thank you. Sure, it was a minor thing, but maybe if I acknowledged it, it might have a positive impact. There’s no harm in trying to be optimistic, is there? While I detested gym, I detested the gym bathrooms more. There was always a smell of stale pee, and just this sense of uncleanliness. The floors were always slightly wet, with puddles everywhere. I don’t know if those puddles are urine, or what. Not to mention, I always felt the need to hide in the stalls when changing because I wasn’t comfortable being around naked guys. I felt like I was doing everyone a favor. After I got my clothes back on — they were never as nice as when I put them on in the morning — I decided I might as well thank Max there and then. If I delayed it, it would seem obscure. Gaining my courage, and taking a sip from the sippy cup (which wasn’t actually bad at all), I left the stall. I actually contemplated that for a second. Surely a sippy cup should feel humiliating or at least emasculating, but it didn’t have that effect at all. Sure, my cheeks might get a bit pink, but overall, it actually felt easier to drink from it. I went to where Max’s Pack normally changes in the bathroom. Thankfully, it seemed like it was just Max there. I approached him cautiously, “Um, Max.” “Teddy, this is interesting. What brings you here?” He didn’t seem as mean as normal. There was some slight condescension to his tone, but not much at all. “I - I just wanted to say thank you. For earlier.” “Oh?” Max’s brow furrowed. “Yes, for protecting me from the dodgeball. You didn’t have to.” “Little guy. I just didn’t want to see your pretty face get hurt.” He said it almost warmly and sweetly, even though he was still mocking me. I didn’t know how to take his response, so I chose to just keep going. “So, just as a thank you, I would like to maybe help you with your academics. I know you struggle at times, and I think I can get you up to—” “You think I need your help?” Max’s voice was cold, flat, and a little angry. “Um, it wasn’t like that. I just thought that—” “You thought wrong. Guys like me don’t need help from kids like you.” He turned away from me, and then he suddenly had a gleam in his eyes. “In fact, I think you might need a reminder of just how little you are.” I looked at him with big eyes, and almost groaned. What had I got myself into now? I looked around — there didn’t really seem to be any guys around. I suddenly felt something wet around my privates. While I’d been looking around, Max had splashed me. I don’t know if it was water from the floor, or if he’d used a water bottle, or something else. Unfortunately, it looked like a very convincing pee accident. He’d made it look like I wet my pants. “That’s better. Did you have a little accident, Teddy? Oh, and in your nice clothes, too.” Max was back to the version of him I was used to, and was whispering the taunts in my ear. He easily took the bag with my gym clothes off my shoulder. “Now, Teddy, I’m happy to let you change back into your gym clothes. But you have to do something first.” “Really, Max? Is this necessary?” “I think you need to remember your place, buddy. You mustn’t talk back to your betters. I want you to go outside, and admit to my Pack, in as loud as possible, that you had an accident. I want you to use that exact word.” I rolled my eyes. The choice was to stay in wet clothes, or to admit to peeing my pants. No, thank you. I’d stay in the wet pants. “Yeah, I’m not gonna do that, Max.” “Oh, that’s all right, Teddy. It’ll just show everyone you like to stay in wet pants. Just remember this is the choice you made. No take-backs. And I think I might need to teach you another lesson about not listening to me.” That sounded ominous, and I was really not in the mood. How had this turned around on me so suddenly? Max lifted me up. That feels like the wrong word — it was more like a sudden grab, and I found myself floating, and not in control. His grip was firm, and I closed my eyes as I saw where we were going. The nearest stall. I really did not enjoy getting my head dunked. “Max, ok, fine. Please don’t,” I pleaded. My voice was small. “No, Ted. You made a choice, and you need to suffer the consequences.” He stated it as a fact. He dragged me into the stall, and pushed my head into the bowl. The toilet wasn’t particularly clean, either. I tried to stay composed, and held my breath. And then I felt the flush. It was like drowning, but also not. I tried to fight back, and move my head for air, but Max held it firmly in place. After what felt like an eternity, I was finally given a reprieve. “Are you proud of yourself, you little pantswetter?” Max asked me, cruelly. “I’m going to be nice, and tell you the offer is still on the table. You can change clothes, as soon as you admit to having an accident. I won’t force you, though.” I wasn’t going to give him the submission. I at least had some dignity, even if my head was covered in toilet water. My word, but I hated slushies. And Max. I just needed to remind myself that whatever Max did physically, he could never affect me mentally. As long as I was sound in my mind, the body wasn’t as important. Finishing the day in wet pants was far from ideal. They smelled of pee, and the stain took ages to disappear. Once or twice I considered just admitting I’d had an accident (even though I hadn’t), just so I could get a change. When people asked me, I tried to explain what had happened, but it seemed that very few people believed me. But fully admitting to it would ruin any chance of plausibility I had. I was grateful that the college recruiters hadn't seemed to come today. At least I would hopefully be presentable when they did arrive. Still, I felt very embarrassed, and I couldn’t clearly see where I’d gone wrong. Was it a bad thing to offer help? What did Max have against me? And why was he sometimes nice, and attractive, and at other times, so horrid. I noticed I finished the sippy cup faster than I expected to — maybe I was drinking more? I didn’t feel comfortable asking Max for my normal juice bottle back, so I just put the cup away. Today had not gone as planned, but there’s always tomorrow.
  2. Please stop replying nonsense. It is very irritating, and quite disillusioning to experience it after coming back to a site that I remember used to be great. I didn't ask for your life story. Your replies have nothing to do with the topic, and are also hard to read. I don't want to be harsh, but I am losing patience. If this is the nature of your responses, can I ask that you please do not engage or interact with me. @Dee Ceethis just is tedious. If you do not have a meaningful reply, it's better to not post.
  3. Hey there. The story isn't done (as of posting here), but it is making headway. This competition did give me the extra push. https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/88261-youre-my-baby-teddy-chapter-1-puddles-15-aug-2023/
  4. Sorry @Dee Cee, but I don't see the relevance of your comment. I'm sorry it's hot in the USA. Where I am, it's more on the cold side, because we're just coming out of Winter. I also don't know what you mean by "Don't get captured." Thanks for replying, though.
  5. Hi everyone. I hope you enjoy. I tried my hand at writing again. Unlike my previous attempts at writing, I have a plan for where this story is going, which makes it a lot easier, and a lot more fun to write. I've written it from two perspectives, which I originally had as two different fonts, but that doesn't translate here. Hopefully the colors are ok. You're My Baby, Teddy 1. Puddles Max Sneaking in and out of my room was no small feat. The window was smaller than I would like, and I’d grazed my elbows more times than I’d like to count. I couldn’t really do anything else, though. Going out the front, or telling my parents was a big no-no. Anything that might make them think even less of me was something I would like to avoid. So, I’d planned my escape and return carefully. I didn’t really enjoy parties, but missing one was not worth the risk. I have to maintain this balancing act, of not being wild enough to make my parents complain, but also not too goody-two-shoes that I’d be ribbed by the guys on the team. The term “alpha male” repulses me, but there is a certain pecking order at school, and it is my responsibility to maintain it. Eat or be eaten. Anyway, back to the point. Nick had the idea of throwing a start-of-term party. A way to relieve the stresses of now being seniors. The idea was for it to start late, and continue until later. He was never very particular with the details, but I’d got in the habit of appearing around eleven. I would show up, and try to enjoy myself. I’d got accustomed to a few bottles of beer, but never anything more. It was mostly a chance to dance, and maintain appearances. I would go to them, and spend time with the team. I liked the noise, and how I was able to fade a bit into the background. It was supposed to be a way to relieve the stress of school, but I found them to be more trouble than they were worth. Unfortunately, Kyle had come up with a competition between four of the guys on the team. We were required to prove ourselves. Whoever was shown to be more superior at a certain time was allowed to name the group. I was not going to lose, or allow myself to be shown up. The group of us has been called “Max’s Pack” for a while. Occasionally Brad or Nick would win, and it would be called “Brad’s Bunch”, or “Nick’s Clique”. “Kyle’s Club” hasn’t been the name more than twice since we started the competition two years ago. Missing a party was a sure chance of losing. And so I’d gone to Nick’s place. It was a booming party, as always. Nick’s parents really didn’t seem to mind at all, which always gave me a sense of shock. I’d grown accustomed to it, but a party at my place was never going to happen. The party started to quiet down around two, and I made my gradual way home. The streets were quiet and ominous at this time, with some streetlights broken. It felt romantic and secret, at the same time. Not that I’d say that to anyone. I’d chosen to ride my bike, as it was quieter. Pedaling home always gives me a sense of comfort, where I’m more alone, and I don’t need to put on an act. I won’t lie; being alone in general does that. I drove my bike over the lawn. It was always kept in meticulous condition, like everything at the house. Anything out of place would lead to Mom complaining. My bedroom window is small. When I was younger, it was easy enough to enter, but training for football had made me bulkier. It meant climbing up was easier, though. To get in, I’d need to climb up to the balcony of my brother’s room, and then walk along the wall to get to my window. It was a point of resentment that he had a balcony, but I didn’t. I chose the larger room, though. And the one that was further from my parents. I climbed up the face-brick wall. Our house has a more classic, vintage look about it. I wouldn’t call it a mansion, but it’s larger than some others around. I was grateful for my sneakers — they have a way more effective grip than you might expect. I still grazed my hands a little on the way up (the bricks aren’t particularly smooth). Getting from the balcony to my room was easier. I took a sneak peek at my brother. The little tyke was fast asleep, cuddled up with his teddy. You could hear his quiet snores. I smiled. At three years old, Luke was one of the highlights of my world. I want to be as good a brother to him as I can. I crossed the distance from the balcony to my window. It was scary at first, but I’m pretty used to it now. I squeezed my body together as I crouched to get in. Despite that, I still hit my head. Something didn’t feel right. “Where were you, Max?” I heard. I was immediately tense. The voice was my Mom’s, and she did not sound happy. I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t ignore her, but what could I say? I slid the window down, and started to try to say something. “Uh, I can explain, Mom.” My voice sounded small, and unsteady. I hated the trembling tone, and how it was higher than my normal, confident, deeper voice. “Explain what, Max? How you were out at two in the morning?” She stood up from my computer chair, glaring at me, “Maxwell Carter, what good reason could you possibly have?” “I went to a party at Nick’s. I thought it might be a good way to relieve the stress of school. It went on longer than I expected, and I couldn’t get away.” I was still standing by the window. I needed to sit down, but I wasn’t sure how she would take it. I headed towards my bed, and indicated I would like to sit down. “I don’t understand you.” She sighed, as she agreed to let me sit. “We go to all this extra effort. You’re pushing yourself for football scholarships, and struggling with some of your classes. How does going to a party, and possibly messing up your performance at school tomorrow, fit in with that? We raised you better than that.” How could I explain in a way that she would understand? If I hadn’t gone, I would have ruined my reputation. That was important to me. But it didn’t matter to her. “I-it wasn’t like that, Mom. I just wanted a break from the pressure.” “Oh, so now we put too much pressure on you? Max, you are a Carter. You are my son. That means I have certain expectations. I’m just looking out for you.” She sat down on the bed next to me, and cupped my chin. “You have so much potential. I don’t want to see you squander it.” “I’m sorry, Mom.” “I know. I don’t want this happening again, though. I don’t want you anywhere but home, school, and football practice, for the next month. Yes, that includes gym in the mornings.” I was crestfallen. I didn’t think I’d get away unscathed, but gym was the one time where I felt I could be myself. I didn’t need to act like the perfect son, nor the clichéd jock I had to be at school. Not being able to go to gym for a month felt like torture. “Can I at least go maybe once a week?” “We’ll see.” I sighed. That was as much as I was likely going to get. “I think we should both be heading to bed. I’ll see you in the morning. Love you.” My mom kissed me on the forehead, and got up to leave the room. “I love you too, Mom.” She left the room, turning of the light as she did. I tucked myself in, trying to get a few hours of rest. *** Morning arrived rudely. I’d set my alarm for six, which was when I’d normally wake up and head to gym. Not being able to do that, but still being awake this early, really stung. I tried to turn over, and go back to sleep. It was no use. My brain was awake, and it wasn’t willing to go back to sleep. Three and a half hours of shut-eye would have to do. I was probably awake before everyone else. I could defy my Mom’s orders, and go to the gym. That’s probably not a good idea, though. I needed to clear my head. As the son of two doctors, we have a fully stocked medicine cabinet. I wasn’t hungover — I’d never drunk that much — but some painkillers might help a little with the headache. I got out of bed, stretching as I did so. The scrapes from last night still stung a little, but they weren’t terrible. Before I headed down, I needed to straighten out my room. Mom was a stickler for tidiness, and some of that had rubbed off on me. My room is relatively bare. I don’t like posters, and I don’t display my interests that openly. There is a computer in the corner, sitting on my desk. It stays out of the way, but angled in such a way that it is easy to watch movies on it from my bed. My bed, which I was in the process of making, is a double. It has a patterned duvet on top, looking like waves. It matches the blue aesthetic of my room. There is one shelf, where I’ve got my collected figurines, and trophies. Mostly, the room feels empty, and too big for what is in it. My bedside table is round, holding a lava lamp. There is a chest of drawers which used to contain toys, but now holds my sports equipment, and comic books. After I made my bed, and put my pajamas in the wash basket, I headed down the stairs. As I suspected, no-one else was awake yet. I grabbed some paracetamol from the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, and headed back to my room. I felt so on edge. I was angry, and I felt trapped in this house, with my parent’s attitudes. Everything around me felt so controlled, and I just wanted to have some sense of freedom. Yes, my future is important. But everything else seemed to be being pushed away because of it. I needed to feel control over something in my life. I want to choose, not have my choices made for me. I started to do some push-ups. It felt good to be doing some exercise, even though I couldn’t properly relax in this environment. I needed to push myself, and actually break a sweat, but there was no real way to do that at home. Still, every little bit counts. After the workout, I could hear the others in the house stirring. I went and had a quick shower, and changed into my school clothes, before heading down the stairs. My family was sitting around the breakfast counter. I hated how typical it all felt. Like, can’t we have something that feels different from the family cliché? “Mowning, Maxie!” Luke shouted, as he saw me come down. He was exited, but that was normally the case for him. He looked like a three-year old version of me. We had the same sandy-brown hair, and brown eyes. We were built from the same cloth, and it was already obvious he was good at sports. He seemed so much happier than I was, though. “Hi there, buddy,” I ruffled his hair as I sat down on the stool next to him. “How did everyone sleep?” Mom glared at me, and didn’t answer. On the other hand, Dad seemed quite happy this morning. “I slept very well, actually. I heard you came in quite late, though. I don’t imagine you slept very much.” “Nah, I slept okay.” The conversation continued, with smalltalk about school and work. As I was getting up to leave, I noticed a strange smell. “Luke, are you not wearing a pull-up?” I asked, curious. “Mm-mm, nope, I’m a big boy. Mommy says I don’t need to wear them anymore, because I’ve been so good with the potty.” I looked down. My suspicion was right, unfortunately. There was a growing yellow puddle on the floor, under Luke’s stool, leading to mine. Luke was peeing his pants. “Oh, buddy, I think you had an accident. I’m so sorry. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Luke looked down, and blushed. “I don’t think you have time before school. I’ll deal with this, but you need to get going, Max,” Mom told me. I looked at the clock — she was right. “Max,” Dad said sternly, “because of last night, I don’t want you driving the Mercedes. Go in the VW.” I grumbled, but agreed. I was half-hoping I’d have a chance to change my sneakers at least, because Luke’s pee had got all over them. But no luck. They were going to smell like pee for the whole day. Theo It was weird to feel comfortable. Not that I was incredibly so, but it was more than normal. Still, I couldn’t let my guard down. My mom and I were beginning to settle in here. She said that a new environment might do me some good, and after some persuading, I’d agreed. The place we’d moved into was smaller than the old one, and it made me feel guilty. I was so scared my mom was doing all this for me, and she didn’t really want the change. I had no clue how I was going to pay her back. Anyway, the apartment was warm and cosy. It felt like the embodiment of my mom and me. I loved the paintings in the open lounge. They were abstract images of different wildlife, with my favorite being one of a bear. I was currently sitting on the couch, with a red woolen blanket around me. It was morning, and I would need to get ready soon, but it was nice to have some time to just relax. I had some peanut butter toast I was eating, as I was reading some of my novel. I was doing my utmost to make sure the crumbs did not go anywhere. “Good morning Theo,” my mom said as she entered the room, stretching and yawning. I just waved, and continued reading. She giggled, and asked me to scoot over my legs. I complied, but in doing so, I knocked over the toast. The crumbs went everywhere, and I couldn’t bear it. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen.” I almost shouted. I sprung up, heading straight to the kitchen to clean it up. “Theo,” my mom said gently, “it’s perfectly fine. There’s nothing to worry about, the couch can be cleaned. You did nothing wrong.” I knew she was right, but it was hard to hear it. I always have a tendency to mess up, and I try so hard not to. I’ve been told I’m too hard on myself, but it’s the only way I know how to be. I can’t afford to do things wrong. I just nodded. I didn’t want to speak, then. It was a minor thing, why did I have to make it so big? My mom came up to me, and just hugged me tightly. “It’s okay, Theo, it’s okay.” I held on to her for a bit, then let go. I went to the kitchen, and got some cloths. I needed to clean it up. When I brought them to the lounge, my mom just shook her head. “I know you want to clean up, but why don’t I do this, and you go get ready for school?” It was hard to relinquish even that much. I was somewhat proud of myself for just being able to give her the cloths. I shuddered as I did so, and I couldn’t look into her eyes. Come on, Theo, it isn’t a big deal. I headed to my room, taking my blanket with me. It was time to actually get the day started. My room, for once, actually felt like mine. I didn’t need to be worried about being judged, or anything being taken. It felt more cluttered than I was used to, but that was a good thing. I still have this need to make sure everything is in its right place, so the room isn’t messy at all. My bookcase was almost full, and we’d need to get a new one. It would be amazing to have more than one bookshelf. I folded my blanket, and put it neatly on the edge of the bed. Now, onto deciding what to wear. There was a ritual I’d got into in the mornings, and it made everything feel more natural. I started my Pop Mix on Spotify, before going through my clothes. They needed to be smart, and show that I was serious about school. But at the same time, they needed to be clothes I could afford to get messed up. I had no clue what Max had planned, but it’s better to be prepared. Fuck Max. I decided on a pale green golf shirt, and darker chinos that matched. I looked well-put together, at least. I made sure everything was in its place, going through the list on my phone. Forgetting something would be incredibly frustrating, and I was not in the emotional space for more mess-ups. After double-checking my bag, and slotting it over my shoulder, I headed to the kitchen to say goodbye. “I like the green. It matches your eyes. I really hope you have a great day, Thee.” She kissed me on my head, before giving me my lunch bag. “I love you.” “Love you too.” “Oh, Theo, don’t forget your juice bottle,” my mom called out as I headed to the door. Thank goodness she reminded me, I almost had forgotten. I picked it up, and left the apartment. Time for a new school day. *** “You have to agree that school is just a microcosm of society,” Nate was arguing. “I don’t have to agree with anything,” Rose rebuffed. Nate and Rose were my closest friends, and the people that made school feel right. Rose hated her name, and went out of her way to defy the sweet connotations of it. Her clothes were always black, and edgy, and she always carried the style off with such confidence. Her bubblegum pink hair was the only thing that even remotely represented a rose. She loved arguing for the sake of arguing, and I’d quickly got used to that. Being around Nate felt like looking in a mirror — not that we looked anything alike. But we thought the same way about a lot of things. We’d immediately clicked after Rose introduced me to him when going to Boardgames Club. At the moment, we were sitting on the steps outside the school entrance. Well, Nate and I were sitting; Rose was leaning against the railing. “But think about it, Rose. We already form in the groups of people that we are most likely to spend our adult lives with, and the classes basically operate as preparation for workdays in the office.” “So you’re saying we have no choice — our futures are already entirely planned out, and we’re just being molded to follow that without complaining? Seems a bit deterministic.” “No, of course we can choose. I—” “I’m messing with you, Nate. Don’t take things so seriously.” Rose rolled her eyes. “Talking about futures, though, have you heard anything, Theo?” I sighed. “No, not yet. It’s still early days, though.” I won’t lie: I’m an overachiever. If I’m good at something, I want to be really good at it. I’ve known from a young age that I’m really good at public speaking, and persuasion. Which made me consider studying law, along with other reasons I don’t really want to get into right now. Anyway, it meant that I was trying to get into Early Acceptance at either Harvard or Yale. I’d worked my butt off, and I was praying I got onto the shortlist. For so long in my life, I’ve been overlooked, and judged as not being good enough, or inadequate. My height certainly doesn’t help. It does mean I wanted to show the world that I’m worthy — I wanted to prove myself. Moving here seemed like a real fresh start when we’d done it a year ago, but I felt like getting into University would be the chance to really spread my wings. We needed to get moving: it was around the time when Max would arrive, and it would not suit us to be at the entrance when he did. Max had chosen to make me his personal nemesis, I had no clue why. The others in his “Pack” would ignore me, and the others, but Max had chosen to make my school life miserable. Well, he’d tried. He couldn’t really succeed, because Nate and Rose worked as excellent buffers. I would still prefer to avoid him, though. “I think we should start heading inside,” Nate commented. “I haven’t seen Max’s car yet, but better to be safe rather than sorry.” As I stood up, taking a sip of juice to calm my nerves, I noticed a set of sandy brown hair out of the corner of my eyes. We were too late to completely avoid Max. Something was strange, though. This wasn’t the car he normally drove: he tended to drive those fast sports cars, always with the hatch down. The car he was leaving looked more like the car a mom would drive — it was a family sedan. I wondered what that was about. “Looks like the egomaniac has arrived,” Rose whispered. We were already standing and heading towards the doors — it would look really weird, and draw attention to ourselves, if we stopped. We got to the glass doors at the same time Max did. Great. “Listen, dweebs, I’m really not in the mood today. Why don’t you stay out of my way, and we can all get along.” Max’s voice was deep. He had a threatening tone, and always made me feel so small. The way he stood with his muscles out, and the extra height his shoes gave him certainly didn’t help. Wait, his shoes. There seemed to be a yellow stain around the base — that definitely wasn’t normal. I felt my juice bottle being lifted out of my hand. “I told you to move, Ted!” Max threw the bottle down, before pushing me onto the floor to follow it. He laughed as he pushed the doors open. “One of these days…” “I’m okay, Nate. Really. There’s a lot more to me than that. It was just a push.” I got up, putting the juice bottle back in its place in the bag. Max might think he had the upper hand, but school was just the start of my journey. All’s well that ends well, and I knew I was going to have a happy ending. Max was just a minor blip, and my future was the sun. Max Starting the day with English was certainly not ideal. Especially not with the way it was conducted. I quickly got bored with the requirement to actually interact with everyone, and state my opinions. No-one wants to know what the dumb jock thinks about anything. I was glad I’d been able to get a seat at the back. It meant it was easier to ignore what was going on. Mr Cooper didn’t particularly care what I did — he’d already given me up as a lost cause. As long as I did the minimum work required, I could do anything in his class. At the moment, that meant I could sleep. And I needed it. We slotted into our wooden seats, standing to greet Mr Cooper. After being told to sit down, I paid attention for a few seconds, in order to make sure I didn’t miss anything important. There was nothing pressing, so I settled down to have a nap. “We’re going to start with your prepared speeches today. Theodore Montgomery has elected to go first.” Oh great, more nerd intellectualism. It was bad enough that he’d been in my way earlier. And I think he may have noticed the pee on my shoes. I didn’t want to spend any more time thinking about him. Well, most of the time. I couldn’t clearly tell how I actually thought about Theo. One part of me hated him, and one part of me… definitely didn’t. The short nerd headed to the front of the class. He seemed so much more confident than he normally would be in the corridors. There was a spring to his step that seemed very strange for him. He stood in front of the room, and waved his fringe in front of his ears. He took a look around the room, grabbing his audience, and began. “Here’s something most of you know about me: I like guys.” Wait, what? This was not the kind of speech I’d expect Theo Montgomery to be giving. He normally had very smart speeches about obscure things, and he definitely wouldn’t talk about anything controversial. Talking about being gay at the start of a speech was definitely unexpected. “Unfortunately, I fought with myself about that for a really long time. I was terrified what it would mean if I actually admitted that I was gay. Would it change anything about my self-image? How would others treat me? Would I cope with the extra bullying that was sure to come my way? “I realized that hiding part of myself was causing more pain, and honestly, it wasn’t worth it.” He continued his speech. It was certainly interesting, and enlightening to hear about the challenges he had both internally and externally. I felt guilty about any role I might have played in his turmoil, but, at the same time, I couldn’t allow any suspicion to fall on me. I would need to bully him harder, now, even if that tore at my insides. Eat or be eaten. His speech ended, and I was actually a little disappointed. Theo spoke well, and for once it was about something I was interested in. The person who followed him was nowhere near as interesting, and I found myself drifting off. I was hoping I wouldn’t snore, but, honestly, if I did, that was their problem. I wasn’t asleep for long, maybe ten minutes. I’m not sure entirely what woke me, but I was glad I had woken up. By Theo’s chair, there was something that seemed eerily familiar. Under his chair, there was a yellow puddle that was growing. It looked so much like Luke’s this morning. Was Theo peeing his pants? If so, that was hilarious. “I’m so sorry to interrupt your speech, Emily, but I think I have a bit of a situation. My juice bottle has leaked. Could I be excused from the class to get some tissues to clean it up, sir?” Theo raised his hand and spoke. I wish I could see his face from here, I would love to see his blush. This was still gold, though. It looked like a piss puddle under his chair, and if people didn’t know it was juice, they might buy the story that Theo had peed his pants. I secretly took a picture of the puddle before Theo got up. I got an even better shot when he turned around to head to the door. His blush was delicious. The situation reminded me so much of Luke this morning. Which gave me a bit of an idea: what if I treated Theo more and more like Luke? How fun would it be if this nerd was acting more and more baby-like? Would I even be able to do that? *** (end Chapter 1)
  6. I've been 24/7 for around a week now (originally just for wetting). I've been enjoying it a lot. Diapers offer an emotional support I didn't even realize I was missing. They work a bit like an antidepressant. Anyway, onto the topic. I was always curious about pooping in a diaper, but always very scared. I first properly messed my diaper as an accident last Thursday. It was not intentional, but I liked the feeling. I've tried to poop my diaper before, but I always had to really push, and it was only ever a tiny bit. Everyone talks about the dreaded cleanup, but that wasn't bad at all. I've pooped my pants before, and that was a disaster. But cleanup after pooping the diaper was easy. Plop the poop in the toilet, clean myself up using baby wipes, and have a quick shower. Now, my body knows it's OK to mess a diaper. And it's gone the other way. Rather than holding it in when I know I'm gonna pad up, out of fear, it's relaxed. So when I'm padded up now, it's almost too easy to poop. From never having messed a diaper, I've had 3 in 6 days. Like, I trusted a fart today, but it was actually a tiny bit of poop. I both like and don't like this. I like knowing I can do that, and the sensations involved. My main dislike is rather a fear that I'm going through diapers too quickly. I'm wondering if anyone has ever experienced anything similar? Or if anyone has comments, tips, or advice?
  7. Definitely would be interested in this. Only have the Samsung Gear VR myself cuz I don't have the hardware for the others.
  8. Mj, it's literally posted higher up in this thread....
  9. The Diaper Thief Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Diaper The Diaper Games Artemis Fowl and the Diapers Complex The Great Diaper
  10. They are both washable, so... personally, I would always choose a bottle over a paci.
  11. It depends... who is blackmailing me, and why? And the duration. Personally, I'd prefer to at least have some of my current thoughts, so the second option. Would you rather stay being an abel or receive a million of what ever currency is in your country to give it up?
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