2013

“Are you sure the babies will be okay by themselves?”  Sonja laid Reila down in a red and white baby bouncer then buckled the safety strap.    “Of course, darling.”  Emma Jean buckled Rachel into a green and white bouncer next to her.  “We’ll be just down the hall in the dining room to eat. All the babies are safely buckled in; what mischief could they get up to? Besides, they’re not really alone. Someone’s always watching.”   “Oh, like a baby monitor!”    Emma Jean smiled at Sonja.  “Something like that, yes.”    Jill Froste put Jax’s blue booties with rattles sewn on the toes on his feet while he pouted up at his mom. He’d worked hard to get his booties off, then she goes and puts them right back on. The cool playroom air felt good on his bare toes. The thick booties held in body heat and made him too hot.    Seven oversized baby bouncers were arranged around a play blanket and the plastic tea set JJ had arranged earlier. There was a bouncer for each baby: Reila, Rachel, Nicky, Jacky, Jax, Lynee, and Junior.  JJ proudly sat by her tea set, ready and impatiently waiting to conduct her pretend tea party. Jacky was the only baby who looked happy to be there.  Even usually smiling Nicky was resigned to a miserable fate.    “You don’t have to play, Nicky. I can easily hold you while I eat like we usually do.”  Azrael slid a finger inside his soggy pink diaper to check just how wet he was.  “Your diaper can hold some more. I’ll let the milk work its way through your system in case you poop again.”    Nicky scrunched his pert button nose as he felt her finger wriggling inside his diaper, squishing the wet padding and brushing over his wet soft skin.  A thick layer of cream and powder protected his fragile skin from any rashes.   “No. I’d rather stay here and keep an eye on things. JJ’s not so bad. She’s just. Um. Enthusiastic.”   Az snorted and tried to adjust Nicky’s skirt but the bouncer’s safety harness kept his skirt bunched up so his enormous diaper was on prominent display. It didn’t bother Nicky a bit. Normally Az wouldn’t care, especially when he was in baby mode, but Rachel and Reila’s diapers were on display to humiliate them and Azrael wanted to make a subtle point that good babies got their diapers covered.    Lynee groaned behind her pink pacifier. When Jill had changed her soaked, poopy diaper after nursing her, she had dressed her in a pink velvet dress that matched Jacky’s blue one.  “Mommy! I wanna be a big girl! Not a baby!”   Jill checked Jax’s freshly changed diaper, making him pout more. She looked up and smiled at her daughter.  “Honey, you are my big girl. But you need some baby time, even if you won’t admit it.  You regressed so quickly. If you didn’t need it, you would be like Jackie. She’s a mature girl. I can’t even remember the last time she wore a pullup or training panties.”   JJ bounced on her knees, so excited and ready to play she felt like she was going to burst.  “I’m ready for training panties! I’m gonna be a big girl like Jackie!”  She wriggled and squirmed in place, knocking over a plate of plastic cookies in her eagerness to play with all the babies. She giggled and cleaned up.   “We’ll see about that. Maybe if you behave yourself.”  Jill muttered non-committedly as she checked on Junior.   He pouted up at his mother.  “I’m the oldest. ‘S not fair.”  He and Jax wore matching blue infant onesies with long sleeves and white snowflake prints. Their feet were snuggly warm in blue booties with rattles on the toes.  Padded white mittens covered their hands, rendering them completely helpless and infantile.   Emma Jean tapped one of Jax’s mittens, smiling down at him.  “Such a cute baby boy! Your wittle mittens will keep you cozy warm! And will prevent a repeat of last year. No naughty boys taking their diapees off this year!”   “Of course they’re just babies and can’t help it. That’s why we have tools like the mittens to help them help themselves.”  Jill smiled down at Junior.    Rachel did her best to ignore everyone, sucking resentfully on her pacifier.   Sonja playfully booped Reila on her snub nose.  Reila floated in a dreamy haze of warm feelings. Induced by the breastmilk? By the close bond such feedings promoted? Both? She had no clue. She was only capable of drifting along in a cloud of contentment. She had whined a little in protest when Mommy laid her in the bouncer, but a shower of kisses soothed her.    She barely paid attention to what went on around her. She was so happy just being in Mommy’s arms. Nothing else mattered. Pesky big girl thoughts disturbed her peace so she pushed them away. Why think when just feeling, just existing and basking in Mommy’s warmth felt so nice?   Reila couldn’t remember ever feeling so peaceful, so at right with the world. All the horrible things done to her were just bad dreams left forgotten.   “The babies are all set. Let’s go. Everyone probably started eating by now.”  Emma Jean headed for the door.    “Hopefully that means we missed Grandpa Winter’s speech.”  Jill made a yuck face that sent Emma Jean into a fit of girlish giggles.     Azrael rolled her eyes.  “I like his speeches. They’re old fashioned, formal, and start the feast with a proper sense of gravitas.”   “Since when do you care about propriety?”  Jill raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow.   “Since the rest of us don’t like listening to the old curmudgeon.”  Emma Jean answered and pulled Jill down the hall before Azrael could reply and start bickering.   “Have fun with the other babies Riley.  Be a good girl. Mommy’s gonna eat while you play.”  Sonja kissed Reila’s forehead. She looked at Azrael and realized she was all alone with her. Az grinned. Sonja dashed for the open door.   “Wait for me!”  She called out to Emma Jean and Jill.    Azrael looked very pleased with herself. Nicky pouted up at her.  “Az. Be good.”   She kissed both of Nicky’s cheeks then Jacky’s and exited the room with a small, smug smile that left both babies nervous.  Az either planned to be an absolute ass at dinner by egging Old Man Winter on, or she just enjoyed people fearing she would be an ass and they tiptoed around her on egg shells.    Soon as all the mommies were gone, Rachel turned her glare on Reila.    JJ pointed to Rachel and Reila in their red polka dot dresses with the short skirts and prominent diapers.  “Twinsies! Big baby twinsies! With matching diapers!”  She giggled to herself.    Sonja leaving popped Reila’s happy bubble. Where did Mommy go? She wanted her back! Her lower lip wobbled.    Before she could cry, Rachel laid into her.  Only then was Reila aware of the glares sent her way.  “You stupid bitch. Good job. I was counting on you to wise up and get me the fuck out of here. But no, you just had to screw it up. Way to go. Now you’re one of the babies. All you had to do was be nice to me in that awful stroller. Or be nice to the retarded gimp.”  She jerked her head in Nicky’s direction.  “Something so easy, so simple was too much for you. Fucking moron. I hate you.”    The intense raw emotions thrown her way just when she was feeling sorrow and vulnerable after Mommy left her brought tears to Reila’s eyes. Normally she would defend herself and lash right back, giving as good or better than she got. But her anger, like her teeth, were gone. Oh, what had they done to her?   Jax giggled, kicking his floppy feet to make his booties rattle. His fresh, dry diaper crinkled noisily and his bright blue eyes glittered with suppressed malice.  “Oh, leave the toothless tard alone. Can’t you see she’s going full baby? She’s even letting go of her adult brain and her big girl thoughts. She’s turning into another JJ. Only stupider.”    “Hey! I’m not stupid! You are! I’m a big girl! I can go potty! And you’re just a dumb poopy diaper baby!”  JJ poked a finger at Jax’s nose then squealed and jerked her hand away when he tried to bite her.    Lynne groaned around the big rubber nipple of her pacifier filling her mouth.  “Oh, I hope not. One JJ is more than enough.”    JJ grinned at Lynne, mistaking her words for a compliment. “Yes! Cuz I’m special!”    Lynne snorted and sucked her pacifier while Junior laughed.    Jacky stared at Rachel.  “Rachie. It wasn’t Riley’s job to save you. You had your chance and blew it as bad as Riley blew hers. You both just have to accept your fates and learn to grow up.”   Hazy thoughts and memories rushed back to Reila. Instead of a happy, cooing adult sized infant, she was once again an infantilized adult. But a longing for that state of happy haze filled her and overshadowed her horror and resentment.  Did they fuck with her mind as well as her body? Why not? They fucked with Mommy’s mind.   “Fak yoo!”  The lack of teeth garbled her speech but she could almost sort of talk again! Elation filled her. Her words lacked their usual venom. Drool coated her chin, but who cared. She could talk!   “It’s time to play! I wanna play! Mommy said you have to play with me!”  JJ whined to everyone.   “In a minute. We’re not done yet.”  Jax glared at her.    “No. Now!”   “I’ll tell Mommy who peed in her favorite potted plant. Think she’ll let you stay in pullups?”  Lynne threatened.   “No!”  JJ howled and kicked a foot before crossing her arms and pouting, fuming quietly to herself.    “I think we’ve talked enough. Let’s have a tea party.”  Nicky spoke up softly.  JJ nodded vigorously.  “Reila’s finally found some peace. Let’s leave her be.”   Rachel turned her glare on Nicky.  “You’re only saying that because you can grow up anytime you want. Being a baby is just fun for you. Why would anyone WANT to be a baby? This is why you’re such a fucking tard. Even as an adult, you still gotta shit in a diaper. Is that why you like playing baby so much? Because it lets you pretend you’re normal?”   Hurt flashed in his eyes before Nicky lowered his long inky lashes and suckled quietly on his pacifier.     Reila should have felt second hand glee at the sight. Here was a kindred spirit who could do what she hadn’t been able to do. Make Nicky cry. She didn’t like Nicky, and didn’t feel particularly bad for him. But at least he wasn’t mean to her like Jax was.    Jacky’s bouncer was next to Nicky’s.  He reached out and grabbed Nicky’s hand to give it a comforting squeeze. His pretty blue eyes stared in disappointment at Rachel.  “You could grow up any time you want. We all can. We’re just not ready. But you’re too stupid to figure that out.”  For a moment he sounded as nasty and vicious as Jax.  “Now I never wanna hear you or Reila call my brother or my best friend a gimp, cripple, or tard ever again. No more nasty names. It hurts their feelings. No one likes it.”   Rachel sneered at him.  “What are you going to do? Tattletale? Make us big babies?”   “No, you do that to yourself. Leave my baby brother alone.”  Junior spoke up, voice flat and quiet.  Rachel turned her sneer on him.    “I’ll tell my twin. Jackie. And she’s best friends with Azrael.”  Jacky wanted to stick his tongue out at Rachel but refrained.    JJ did it for him. She didn’t like all this fighting, and she didn’t like anyone making fun of or messing with her family. She was allowed to pick on her siblings; that was different.    Junior spoke up again.  “Rachel. Reila. Do you want to know a secret? The truth no one is telling  you?”    “Junior, no!”  Lynne looked horrified.  “You’ll end up worse than Riley! You’ll lose more than just your teeth!”   “Not posed ta tell!”  JJ hollered, eyes bulging in shock.  “It’s too soon!”  Jacky stared at his eldest sibling.    Jax stared from Junior to the Rachel and Reila.  A slow, vicious smile spread across his face.   “Junior is right. They should know. I wasn’t going to go there, but why not?”  That smile as he focused on the girls was full of sweet poison.    “I wanna know! Tell me! Please! I’m sorry for all the things I said!”  Wild desperate hope bloomed in Rachel’s face, matching how Reila felt inside.    Reila wriggled, frantic in her bouncer and making it sway with her urgent movements as her arms and legs flopped uselessly about like an infant unable to control them. Her diaper crinkled as she squirmed, too full of emotion to hold still as she silently pleaded for salvation with every fiber in her being.    Rachel stared hard at Jax as her hungry pleas died down, replaced by skepticism.  “This is another of your tricks. You’re lying. You put Junior up to this. I’m not falling for it.”     She turned to Reila.  “Don’t listen to them. Jax does shit like this all the time. He’s a manipulator. Worse than any Ruprecht. He’ll get your hopes up then break your heart. He’s sly. The stupid grownups never catch him. That rotten cunt Jackie lets him get away with it. She covers for him. So does Azrael.”   

Due to Dr. Ivan needing to be overseas training other surgeons, my surgery was moved out a week. Now it's on June 8th. Still only about 6 weeks away now!

She didn't know how far or when the interview was but his demeanor says they're running late. She feels bad but he never told her when  the interview was or how far away. She shouldn't have stayed up so late but he didn't tell her not to. She yawns, "sorry i didn't know." She pulls her jacket over head and tunes out again. I guess if the ride is long enough i can get some sleep. About halfway through the journey she wakes up with a sudden urge to pee. She darts her eyes at larry then at the surroundings. they Were far along the route way further than she had ever been. She watched him, he was still intently studying his notes. She tried to keep her body still she didn't want to bother him. she feels a squirt of pee go into the pull up that for once she was grateful to be wearing. She probably could have stopped it but she didn't see the point. but then she remembers, I need to stay dry so i don't  have to keep wearing this.  Hopefully it dries and he doesn't notice it'll be fine. if he asks i'll just lie he'll be to distracted to check anyway. she looks around again puts her jacket back over her head and goes back to sleep for the rest of the ride.

That sounds great.  I hope you feel much better afterwards and have no control! Yes, at first I worried about a mix-up too.  But I'm not worried about that anymore.  He does a ton of penis enlargement surgeries and other surgeries and doesn't mess them up. You could ask for the prostate to be left intact, but I'm not sure they would agree and also I think that would put you at risk for retention problems. I don't think they will do an external incision.   That sounds kind of amazing although I like still having my erections and I don't necessarily want a smaller penis.  But all the rest sounds awesome!  I hope you find a way to get all of that for yourself!

Awww, I've said before, she gets a bad press here.  This is because if you drew Venn diagrams between my nappies, her, and positive feedback there just isn't ANY intersection of those sets.  There IS positive feedback from her.  It just doesn't relate to nappies. I've still been impressed at her capacity to maintain her rage (or at least, a Mahatma Ghandi style position of passive aggression) for this long without either deciding to leave or giving in.