bibabyboy Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I'm out of the house and he is 17. I was snooping around and saw a worn but not used girls goodnite. Nobody knows, I am not sure if I want to say something to him or just hide an adult diaper by it. Link to comment
SehrNass Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I think it would be pretty funny to leave an adult diaper with it! I say do it Link to comment
feralfreak Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I'm out of the house and he is 17. I was snooping around and saw a worn but not used girls goodnite. Nobody knows, I am not sure if I want to say something to him or just hide an adult diaper by it. why was you snooping around? im curious why he would have a girls goodnite there, i think there needs to be a conversation Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Or just leave it alone where things are now. If a time in the future comes where the subject comes up perhaps then would be a good time to see whether he's ready to speak of it Something else to consider is that it might not be for him but for his GF, or this may be a one-time 'experimenting' same as we all do at that age It's always best to carefully consider what might be gained and what might be risked before opening up subjects like this with anyone else- and that includes their feelings too 1 Link to comment
billy1234 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Shernass, yeah make fun of someone for something that they might be struggling with and feeling bad about that makes so much sense Link to comment
DailyDi Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Leave it be. You shouldn't have been snooping. Wait 4 years, have a drink with him then ask about that time you found a diaper in his room. 3 Link to comment
bibabyboy Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 Snooping out of curiosity. We didn't really grow up together and his dad's not in the picture so I try to keep tabs on him to make sure all is well. Honestly I was a little excited we had a common secret. He has no idea of my interests or that I went through the same thing. I keep thinking that I could help or be someone to identify with and confide in. Link to comment
Repaid1 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Snooping out of curiosity. We didn't really grow up together and his dad's not in the picture so I try to keep tabs on him to make sure all is well. Honestly I was a little excited we had a common secret. He has no idea of my interests or that I went through the same thing. I keep thinking that I could help or be someone to identify with and confide in. I vote with let sleeping dogs lie, you have no idea what it was there for, and you are assuming that he shares something with you. I also note that he is underage, brother or not.. Watch your step. Go with DD's recommendation, although it might take more than 1 drink to let the tongues loose Link to comment
rusty pins Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Leave it alone, don't say a word! Link to comment
bibabyboy Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 Yeah I think I plan on just paying more attention to hints for now or at least a few months until the age issue is no longer there. That was first thing to mind. I'm excited that we may have some common ground. I'll just leave it as my secret that I know and just try to be more receptive. Link to comment
Elfy Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I said it in chat but I will say it again here: 1 Link to comment
BlakeJordan Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Remember that we all see the world through a lens- a filter. We are also more likely to jump to conclusions if we can think of an example in our past, or in recent past, or even more so that something has occurred several times. In reality the odds are no different that it could just as easily be for medical, cosplay, a prank joke, a bet, curiosity, or various other things. Without further info or cause/prompt to look deeper I would try to remember that our own biases having these interests are going to point to extreme alertness, hope to share something we have hidden (as we have memories of being that age and doing things such as that- wanting to reach out). Just member you have both your bias filter and the fallacy (which I can't remember the name of off hand) working against you here).. I think awareness is going to be your greatest strength moving forward. Best of luck! Link to comment
bibabyboy Posted September 21, 2014 Author Share Posted September 21, 2014 I want to comfort so bad especially since I usually appear so distant and aloof. I am going to try to strengthen that though, try to slowly become more approachable and start to talk with him more. 1 Link to comment
Dill_Pickle Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 The fallacy is confirmation bias...tending to reinforce your own assumptions while ignoring evidence to the contrary. Link to comment
AwakenEvil Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Snooping on someone is lame. Leave it be. If you bring it up you'll likely alienate your brother. 1 Link to comment
WakkoWannaBe Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 ugh I hated Heart of Darkness. UGGGHHHH. Link to comment
BlakeJordan Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 An availability heuristic is a mental shortcut that relies on immediate examples that come to mind. When you are trying to make a decision, a number of related events or situations might immediately spring to the forefront of your thoughts. As a result, you might judge that those events are more frequent and possible than others. You give greater credence to this information and tend to overestimate the probability and likelihood of similar things happening in the future. Link to comment
DLdapper Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I can never pretend to know the connection between you and your brother, or your situation in general. So my advice is just general advice, no one can really decide the right choice but you. Snooping isn't cool, even if you were his father it wouldn't have been cool, but that is in the past now, what was found cannot be undiscovered. I would not directly ask him about it, I wouldn't even indirectly ask him about it. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Ok, I think the OP understands about 'snooping' not being a good idea 1 Link to comment
billy1234 Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 you should ask yourself how your going to feel if you confront him and he denies it all and he outs you as his weird diaper wearing brother to everyone in order to deflect attention away from himself (not saying it would happen but it might) Link to comment
kevindhca Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 Good for you looking out for your brother. However, exercising privacy and discretion is also looking out for his best interests. Destroying his privacy is going to make looking out for him much harder. If you do anything, it should be subtle hints over time about yourself, and wait and see if he brings up the subject on his own time. Of course, you should discreetly monitor the mental health situation, and watch for warning signs like depression and isolation from society. Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I agree with being subtle about it, but the topic of diapers would have to start about you. I wouldn't let on that you know about finding that diaper in his room or you'll also be letting that you were snooping. Maybe the next time you two are together and you see a happy baby (commercial or in public), comment to him how the baby looks really happy. Say you wouldn't mind wearing a diaper too, if you got to be that happy all of the time. Gauge his reaction from that and take it from there. If he goes with it then you can maybe expand it just a little more from there, until finally admitting you've tried one once. If he says that's disgusting, you can always back pedal and say you could care less for the diaper, but whats disgusting about being happy. Link to comment
Elfy Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I agree with being subtle about it, but the topic of diapers would have to start about you. I wouldn't let on that you know about finding that diaper in his room or you'll also be letting that you were snooping. Maybe the next time you two are together and you see a happy baby (commercial or in public), comment to him how the baby looks really happy. Say you wouldn't mind wearing a diaper too, if you got to be that happy all of the time. Gauge his reaction from that and take it from there. If he goes with it then you can maybe expand it just a little more from there, until finally admitting you've tried one once. If he says that's disgusting, you can always back pedal and say you could care less for the diaper, but whats disgusting about being happy. Link to comment
DailyDi Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 *Couldn't care less... I don't want to be a grammar nazi but that one always bugs me, since if you say you could care less it implies that you do care about it in the first place! Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted September 22, 2014 Share Posted September 22, 2014 I couldn't care less if you could care less or not because I don't care if you care, I care only whether I care and I'm careless when doing that. 1 Link to comment
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