Chat Kicking Poll

[innocentagain]

And methinks some people here are ensconced, and treat the chat room as their own private playroom for them and their little clique, because you're way too damn tempermental and easily annoyed. Banning people for baby talk?! Banning people for "trolling" (whatever the hell you decide that is)?! Come on, people. Live and let live. Kick and ban for repeated malicious, intentionally harmful behavior- not for ticking off your own personal little pet peeves. Y'all need to be more diverse. More open-minded. Remember who you are. Those who live in glass houses...

Hell, ban people for their vicious cliquery. I'm sure it's hurt more feelings and driven more people to suicide. Shit, take a long hard moment and think about that. That is the definition of bullying.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

Innocent this is the third post Ive seen from you, and its the third post Ive seen in which you a degrading the site. For someone who supposedly was told by their therapist to stay away for the betterment of their personal health, you sure do seem to be on here and on a tirade for attention.... You can call whatever bullying. I call what your doing trolling and perhaps you need to find a better way to spend your time cuz the people on this website do not want to see this stuff.

[innocentagain]

I'm not degrading this site. I'm degrading the moderating practices of certain people, who deserve it. There are good moderators here, and DailyDi as far as I know is good, but yes, venting my frustration makes me feel better. I'm tired of being held down, violated, and kept quiet. This is catharsis. I guarantee there are plenty of people on this website who do want to see someone telling it like it is. I don't know you- I don't have any personal beef with you- for all I know you only kick/ban those who are harming others- but you're damn right I'm coming here and venting. I didn't get the chance to defend myself when I was 5, and this feels almost like a substitute. Nothing I said in the above post should be offensive, except to moderators who treat people unfairly- nor is it directed at anyone but them. Don't kick/ban people for stupid, petty personal reasons or your own little pet peeves. Stop showing favoritism. You guys would probably get a lot more donors if you acted like you valued new members at all. FFS, though, delete my account already, since you guys want to censor the truth so badly.

Review the chat log where I was banned. It is clear to anyone who reads it that the moderator who banned me spoke out of turn, and got embarrassed that several others in chat told her she was being overly harsh, and told her to calm down. She only banned me because of her embarrassment. This person should not have been a moderator. Misusing kicking/banning privileges to win a petty argument, and save face for being overly harsh is BULLYING. What I did was not. And there you go again with your phantom definition of "trolling". I guess anything a moderator doesn't personally like counts as "trolling", then? So, they're given papal infallibility. Okay. Fine. Just admit to your dictatorship, and stop pretending you hold to any kind of objective, ethical standard.

[ForbiddenFruit]

Have you considered, you know, naming the mod in question, considering there's only 3 who are active, none of them using chat on a regular basis?

[Guest *~Andi~*]

The mod in question is Alex FF, and its a bunch of BS, cuz she cant ban anyone from chat... she can only kick. This person has been on a tirade about this on a few different forums, using their background of sexual abuse as a platform. Its ridiculous.

Innocent, again... if you have problems with your past and it was supposedly brought up in chat and you were supposedly kicked... then there was a reason for it. Alex doesnt kick without cause. Name the date and time it happened, report it to bettypooh, repaid or dd and let them review.. cuz if you were banned, they are the ones who did it. NOT ALEX. Otherwise stop throwing it all over the forums and begging for your account to be deleted cuz its apparent you still wanna be here, you just seem to be looking for attention. Didnt your therapist tell you to stay away...? hmmmmm......

[Bettypooh]

If anyone has a problem with a Mod action they need to take it up with DD directly. Ranting or complaining about it on the open forum will only cause you to become disliked by other members.

One of our site rules is no multi-posting. Saying it once on one forum is enough. Should I find someone continuing to make posts that seem to be designed to incite anger, I will consider it trolling and take action.

If you can't handle yourself, your posts, and you words because of what you find here the solution is simple- don't come here until you can. We will be here later, but those who cause problems for the majority of members here will not. All members here are going to be held responsible for what they do. We try to allow for people and their quirks, but the line had to be drawn somewhere for everyone. It takes a deliberate action on your part to post which means you did it intentionally, and that cannot be overlooked. If you have problems controlling yourself then you need to work them out before you go to any internet forum or chatroom, not just ours.

Bettypooh

[Guest *~Andi~*]

sides with Bettypooh

[~*PrincessZozo*~]

Also, Innocent is lying about their age.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

Also, Innocent is lying about their age.

lol

[sarah_ab]

now that is an outright unproven accusation, perhaps innocent is reincarnated or has an 'old soul'.... we don't know these things.... benfefit of the doubt people.. benefit of the ... oh no wait, i'm the one he insinuated was a pedophile.. hahah nevermind.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

is it a he?

[sarah_ab]

i'm going by what it says under his name on the borads it says 'i am a ...' boy... adn while we know this member lied about their age, most people lie and say they are a girl, not lie and say they are a boy lol...

[Guest *~Andi~*]

I was under the impression that the "he" was a "she" cuz per one post it referred to itself in the female tense... IM CONFUZZLED....

[rosalie.bent]

its actually an interesting question as to how to moderate in general. I like DD probably in part because I feel safe and less likely to be threatened. Ive referred in the past to the sometimes horrific level of abuse and vitriol I have received over in FetLife over the 'audacity' of writing a book which they dont liek. (They havent read it of course. They just dont like it! LOL) Fetlife suffers from poor moderation and often none at all. Flame wars are a particular problem at times and I now rarely venture forth there. But a recent correspondent said that they too think FetLife is under moderated while also saying that DD is OVER-moderated. it got me to thinking some... Drawing a proper line as a moderator is always hard. You do have to essentially draw a line aimed at curtailing your worst offenders. Just like regular society, this means that good people willl sometimes be restricted from doing something soley because others have abused it. Is DD over-moderated? IN some ways I think so. I like debate. I like strong opinions and well-reasoned argument. I like discussions that bounce off the walls and cause people to react and think and re-evaluate. That can however sometimes make for an ugly thread (or chat). The very best threads are those that have intelligent passionate and demanding individuals that know what they belive and want top convert you to their position. But just like real-life debates need a moderator, so do online ones, but moderators that are actually there at the time. AS someone who relishes strong debate with intelligent opponents I am sometimes frustrated by some of the moderation which seems to remove the passionate, emotional and sometimes unfriendly posts. No debate worthy of the name was every stultifyingly friendly. It was pointed, passionate and sometimes downright rude. But there is always a line that shall not be crossed. And that line is one that moderators rarely seem to understand. They either curtail everything more incendiary than social banter or permit everything including bullying, flaming and outright abuse.

If I had to choose between OVER-moderation and UNDER-moderation then I'd choose OVER any time. But Id realy prefer moderation that relied less on hard and fast rules and more on encouraging debate and discussion (even of difficult or explosive topics). All it then needs is mature responsible debaters and moderators willing to boot those who arent.

Yes, its a pipedream. But I still hope one day to find fora online that actually give you debate like that.

just my thoughts on a dreary monday morning while avoiding a diaper change...

[baby_hollywood]

i think pming and a few other things should not be tolerated but my opinion probably wont count so eh im just getting sicks and tired of hng's pming me thinking im a girl when every time ive checked im a guy well laterz all thats my two cents worth

[sarah_ab]

if you haven't noticed for the past few months there is now a clause you must click agree to regarding pming without permission... if it happens than report the person immediately, than block pm's from them.

[Guest]

if you haven't noticed for the past few months there is now a clause you must click agree to regarding pming without permission... if it happens than report the person immediately, than block pm's from them.

and yet people still wonderful why I go full metal jacket on them when they pm me. Like I said before, unless you're on my list, don't even ask to pm me.

[sarah_ab]

i still wonder.. its a pm.. just close it.. its not as if someone broke into your house and stole your shit.. they sent you a virtual message... i mean really, it takes more effort to say something in the main room than it does to just close the pm...

[Guest]

Then again, some people, me included, get their jollies off on bitching out someone who sent them an unwanted pm

[Bettypooh]

Well baby smokey , as long as you report the unwanted Chat PM's and you don't break any rules yourself, then go for it People who knowingly break rules need to be since they won't learn the easy way

And Sarah has a point too- this is the internet and if you don't like something it will go away with just one click Too bad RL problems aren't this easy to deal with

One of the biggest issues I have with Chat is that some people think they can go there and not experience the same things that happen all over the internet. That doesn't make the situation right, but that's the way it goes and we can't always be there to shield anyone from that reality. If you can't stand the heat, the kitchen is not the best place for you And if you type as badly and as slowly as I do then Chat probably won't be much fun for you either- just sayin!

Bettypooh

[warpiper]

i still wonder.. its a pm.. just close it.. its not as if someone broke into your house and stole your shit.. they sent you a virtual message... i mean really, it takes more effort to say something in the main room than it does to just close the pm...

I think the reason people get so up in arms about it is because of how intrusive it can be to a conversation you may be having with someone. Imagine you are having a lively chat with someone and you are typing away looking at your keyboard and you look up to find that you have sent an entire message to someone that wasn't meant for them just because they PM'd you and it became the window on top. For another point imagine if you are the new girl and all of a sudden 5 people PM you and you can't keep them straight because they are all asking you to be their mommy and change their diaper. This is a good way to quickly scare away new members, and restricting members from sending harassing PM's is a good way to keep this from happening. Also, while saying something on the public board is a way of publicly shaming someone, it also gets the word out that the person is a creep, and more people will be likely to report them if they do the same to them. Just my 2 cents.

-piper