A Sad Discovery

[jakob88]

So I live with my parents and as such I haven't been able to live out my fantasies too much. All I've done is wet a diaper and masturbated in it a couple of times a month.

[gah!ghost]

While not that specifically there's quite a bit I thought I liked about diapers I found I didn't like once I actually started wearing them, so I can relate to a certain extent. I actually did think it was a sexual thing, just because I had no interest in adult baby stuff and common knowledge seems to say, diaper lover=sexual but I found I have no sexual interest. I also always fantasized about very thick diapers only to find I actually prefer wearing thinner stuff.

[Dubious]

It's cause you masturbated

[h200420012]

It's cause you masturbated

[jakob88]

Yeah,

[babylin]

You apparently are also dealing with repressed guilt.

My suggestion is to stick to your plan and diaper up, one after another, whether you feel any interest or not.

Never know what you may discover.

Also, such activity gives you a chance to think over what you are doing.

Create a blind file in your computer and write all your thoughts into that as you experience your fantasy.

[square_duck]

Essentially, yes. welcome to the world of sexually driven fetishes. Yours, like many of us, is attached to your sex drive and is hormonally driven. I am the same way, though mine also is activated by stress. it will come and go, (no pun ) I wear when I want or need to. for example I basically did the same thing you did a couple of days ago, and haven't worn since as I had a good climax and the stress and desire is gone, but given my experiance, I know it will be back. This is also part of the 'binge and purge' cycle, so you can actually plan ahead and remember this for the future, since you know how you behave and it affects you and your desires.

don't get to disappointed as this happens to a lot of us. Whats important is how you deal with it. Your fetish is sexually driven, so work with that. Don't go and toss everything in the trash just because the interest or drive is gone, it will be back, thenyour back to square one.

Just put everything away and wait it out. Then enjoy and explore yoru fantasies one at a time..maybe take a day and wear the onsie etc.

This will happen again and again, so get used to it, it's part of getting to know this side of yourself and thats not a bad thing, it's just learning. Been down that road many times. Whats important again, is what you 'DO' about it and how you handle it. You are stuck with this fetish or "interest' fo rthe rest of your life, so explore it and find what makes you really happy and manage it. thats where I am today, and I have had this 'thing' since I was 5-6 years old....it's just the way things are for me, and all I can do is pass along what I have learned.

If you want to wear, do it, if your not interested, then don't, but don't let it go to long or the backlash will be nasty...had that happen too. It just becomes a nasty obsession, and thats not fun.

So when it does come back, wear when and how you want, but maybe change things up and DON'T gratify yourself after soaking the diaper. Just sit in it and enjoy that. Wear the onsie and enjoy that,as that will help keep your hands out of your pants and it becomes a kind of tease or foreplay. see how long you can go with out and just enjoy being in a soggy diaper etc. maybe go for a walk outside...theres lots of things you can to to avoid jacking off, just find some distractions that will help you enjoy the moment you're in.

This is a weird interest or fetich, and a difficult one to sort out. But you are young, and in the prime of your sexual life, so that makes things more difficult. Over time this will change and you will be more used to just wearing and being happy with that, as the sex drive / hormones will flatten out and there will be more balance. Thats just life.

You can also try to seperate the two also, by not wearing as stated above, and just taking care of business in a 'normal' fashion, and see how that works. You wake up with the morning wood with out a diaper.. take care of that and see how the interest or drive is...again, part of the learning curve. Monitor your interest and ask yourself what is driving it that day, you will learn a lot.

It works both ways, and learning all you can will lead to you having more enjoyment of it, instead of finding and being disappointed in things that didn't work.

Ultimately it's all about management and how you handle this for the maximum enjoyment. It wont happen over night and will take some time, but ultimately you will find a place that works for you and adds to your enjoyment in both areas and thats the best place to be.

Good luck.

[Dubious]

I use diapers for convenience

When I "need" them, wanking dosent remove the will to put it on

But when I don't need em, I don't have to put one on, one of the "bonuses" with not being incon I guess

[Hookedondiapers]

It's cause you masturbated

Just like Zpeed said...

[rosalie.bent]

Sexual release is a major 'crash' for both ABs and DLs. that doesn't mean that your behaviour isn't AB. After orgasm the desire to be regressive AB returns after a period but that doesn't mean that the desire was primarily sexual in the first place. The response to orgasm is a poor determinant of your AB/DL ratio.

[waddlergirl]

I am forbidden to masturbate.

Among the reasons that very one figures highly.

[rusty pins]

It's cause you masturbated

[dlinmsp]

I used to do the same thing as you, release, then no diapers.

[Bettypooh]

You have self acceptance issues, and that is why you feel ashamed or guilty afterward One thing which is a cause of that is denial, like making the choice to wait till the situation is perfect before wearing a diaper when you really want to put one on now The longer you wait, the stronger the adverse reaction afterward So not everyone can diaper as much as they want to- there's nothing wrong with that. And sometimes restraint is beneficial- such as not wearing at certain times to keep your spouse happy But you have to accept that this is a need in you and that you cannot 'lose' the need before things are going to get any better. So you're in a situation where you can't do what you want openly or whenever you may want that- are you working to change that? Unless that is a top goal for you, you aren't going to feel better

[BabyJune]

Your feelings and experiences have happened to a lot of us. You have plenty of time to find out what you like and don't like and how to enjoy diapers the way that pleases you the best. Don't get discouraged.

[SoCalAB]

Please don't take this wrong by maybe it is time for you to get your own place.

[XyXy]

I felt exactly the same as you at your age. Diapers turned me on until I released, and then the desire faded away for a day up to a week, and then came back. If this is a long term pattern, that's OK! Be whoever or whatever makes you happy. For me, I gradually turned more and more to diapers, to the point now, where even after climax, I don't feel comfortable in anything but a diaper. I also incurred an injury that have left me with a permanent dependence on diapers (or a stomach bag with a tube through my stomach), but luckily by the time this happened, I had reached the point where diapers transcended a sexual gratification, and became more of an emotional security. Now I have no choice because of incontinence, but I am still happy wearing diapers 24/7, and have been for almost 8 years straight. My point here is, accept your feelings and act accordingly. If diapers are merely a sexual release for you, then so be it! It will actually make your life that much easier than if you had the desire to wear 24/7. If as time goes by you feel like wearing for reasons beyond sexual pleasure, accept that too. You only get one life, and it is short. There is no logic to tormenting yourself by worrying about what you should or ought to do, so long as your desires don't infringe upon the rights and pleasures of others. Just be yourself, and find happiness with whatever you are at the moment. Life will be much more enjoyable that way.

[babykeiff]

You currently have two independant drives - one that is purely animalistic = your sex drive, and the second, the want for diapers. I cannot explain your want for diapers as that is a purely personal thing. However, I can tell you why you don't want them after you masterbate. It is due to your linking the two independant drives.

[DavidMW]

Please don't take this wrong by maybe it is time for you to get your own place.

[rusty pins]

Please don't take this the wrong way, but it seems like just about every thread where someone posts a situation where they live with their parents, someone suggests that maybe it's time that they get their own place.

[jakob88]

babykeiff,

[Dubious]

Just tell yourself that you have to wear a diaper..

I can force myself to wear, even after I wanked, but I'm not drawn towards it, just for convenience

[Bettypooh]

Then wait till afterward and put a diaper on whether you feel like doing it or not. When you have an erection again do 'it' without the diaper. Like shampooing repeat the process In time you will lose the problem, something will 'give', and you'll then be able to enjoy both on their own merits As I started wearing more often the sexual part separated. I still have both parts and I have reached where I needed to go with diapering Still waiting for the right person to finish the other quest, but at least I'm halfway there now

[Dill_Pickle]

It might interest folks to know that the "nuclear" family (just parents and kids, and kick them out when they have grown up) is a historical anomaly that became common in the 1950s. Adult children still in their parents house is becoming common again...the twenty-somethings just can't afford their own places.

My mother noticed, when I and my neighbors were young adults out in the world, that we would have a great time visiting "home" for a few days, then fall back into old patterns from our teenage years. My parents repeatedly threw my brother out of their house.

I am also a DL who is scared of being AB for myself, and the comments about not feeling guilty about acting on your feelings about diapers, and not feeling guilty about masturbating in whatever way comes to you are spot on.

Hopefully your relationship with your parents is maturing to the point where all parties are given some private space and a mutually agreeable social contract is worked out, including how chores get done, such as keeping the house clean and repaired, and meals prepared, shopping done, etc. If not, do work that out by talking to your parents - learning to negotiate is an important part of being an adult.