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So I'm not sure if this is the appropriate outlet for seeking help and all things considered is likely counter-intuitive but I don't really know where else I can go to speak with someone so bear with me.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 11 months now and he's accepted me for my ABDL side. It was strange to him at first and he still doesn't completely understand it but he's happy I can be who I am with him. 3 months ago he found Kik on my phone so I explained I used to to talk to other guys around the globe who were also into diapers to help me validate why I feel the way I feel for diapers and to help me make sense of this all. It was legitimately never used for anything sexual and I hadn't used it in about 5 months prior to that. This led to me telling my boyfriend about my account on diaper-bois as well. Understandably he was livid that I was talking to strangers

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My ex tried to get me to cut all my online friends out of my life because he also didn't like me talking to them. I refused. I see it as controlling behavior. What else does he try to control around you? I am glad mine is out of my life. He was emotionally abusive and controlling.

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I think the issue might not be that you talk to other people about all this stuff, it's that you don't tell him until he finds out about it on his own.

Perhaps if you said something like "hey, I have an account on DailyDiapers, it isn't to meet people, its just like a community for people who are ABDL." He would be OK with it... Rather than making an account, acting secretive and then it seeming like you had something to hide in the first place.

I'm not sure why you thought that if he didn't like you talking to other ABDLs the way you did that he would be OK with you uploading photos of yourself to the internet!

On the other hand, why was he looking through your phone for kik in the first place? Were you OK with that or was he snooping on you privacy?

Perhaps the best thing to do would be to sit down with him, explain why you are on these sites... That it is not for finding other people, just for community and finding others with similar interests. Maybe apologise for not telling him before he found out about them through other means. If he still isn't OK with you joining these sites after all that and you really feel like you need to then it is hard to see how the relationship would work... The fact you have made an account here to ask suggests you want that sense of community.

It is the same with any other relationship. You need to have a full and frank discussion to try and bridge this gap that has opened up. If no agreement or compromise can be reached then you might need to make a choice to either stay with your partner and try to stop these feelings (It won't work and will probably keep coming back) or accept these feelings and break things off with your partner.

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11 hours ago, itirfu said:

So I'm not sure if this is the appropriate outlet for seeking help and all things considered is likely counter-intuitive but I don't really know where else I can go to speak with someone so bear with me.

I've been in a relationship with this guy for 11 months now and he's accepted me for my ABDL side. It was strange to him at first and he still doesn't completely understand it but he's happy I can be who I am with him. 3 months ago he found Kik on my phone so I explained I used to to talk to other guys around the globe who were also into diapers to help me validate why I feel the way I feel for diapers and to help me make sense of this all. It was legitimately never used for anything sexual and I hadn't used it in about 5 months prior to that. This led to me telling my boyfriend about my account on diaper-bois as well. Understandably he was livid that I was talking to strangers

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Love can't grow when it's kept in a box. Love needs to have freedom and freedom requires trust. It also requires communication to build the understanding a successful relationship requires. So that's where you start- ask him what exactly is bothering him about your activities. From there you try to find a compromise which allows you to have your own needs taken care of too. If he's unwilling to give you what you need then the whole relationship needs to be reconsidered. Not everyone is compatible, and sometimes you can't make a relationship work because you are only half of it. Everybody has things they can't compromise on or cannot tolerate in a partner- 'deal killers' - so be honest with yourself and find out what your 'deal killers' are. If this is one then you need to make that clear and find a way to work it out. If that can't happen then it's time to move on.

Everybody needs their own happiness. Life is about finding yours. A relationship should be helping you do that, not keeping you from it.

Bettypooh

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