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I am disabled, I have Pervasive Developmental Disorder Not Otherwise Specified with traits of Aspergers Syndrome, Epilepsy and multiple learning Difficulties.

What does that mean ?

I have autism, while I am generally High functioning, I also have traits of low functioning autism as well, sensory issues, communication difficulties and stimming

One problem I have with sensory processing disorder, is that I am hypo-tactile, meaning I don't get the same stimulation from something touching me as you would. Because of this I have always enjoyed the sensation of a poopy diaper, as it is kind of a sensory input for me.

Being epileptic when I have a seizure (between 1 and 3 times a month) I am usually incontinent. Aside from that I have full control over my bladder and bowel

The problem I have is because I am mostly High Functioning, I am overly smart, I can talk about all kinds of things, from Integral and Differential Calculus to Philosophy, from Material Science to Sociology, and I am a Computer Geek and a science nerd. I hate being so intelligent, and such a know it all, because it makes it hard to find friends with similar interests.

I honestly wish I was Severely Disabled, and functioned on the cognitive level of a 2 year old, so I wouldn't know any better, and could be looked after 24/7

Knowledge is scary, and it can be used as a weapon as well as a tool.

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Sorry in advance for being inactive as long as I have, life keeps me busy.

Now, this is the kind of conversation I've been waiting to have on these boards.

I myself am disabled with Aspergers Syndrome, however, I always felt more disabled than I actually am.

I don't think I would want to be so disabled as to be completely passive in everything. I could definitely see the appeal of severely disabled play. I wouldn't mind being completely passive in my own care or bedridden etc.every once in a while and maybe only for a day or two or some short term basis no longer than a week. For me, that kind

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I tend not to pay any mind to labels and just be myself and pursue whatever makes me happy. It's a mixed blessing. Many times it feels like a curse and I wish I could cure it, other times it's a blessing. It's a mixed bag.

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When you say you wish you had the intellect of a 2 year old and needed someone to care for you all the time, I wonder if you've fully considered all the ramifications of that.

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I can only speak for myself, I believe I understand the ramifications, which is why my own personal disability identity is heavily modified and different from anything observed in the known world. I just don't think it's possible to be mentally disabled enough to need the level of care I describe while still maintaining my unique personality and intelligence and the ability to express it. Which is why my identity is so complex because it's tailored to be a compromise where an actual mental condition that offers such a compromise may not actually exist in reality due to our still limited understanding of how the brain works. My sci fi story attempts to explain it by theorizing the brain is more complex than we give it credit for and that it actually may be possible for a mental condition to exist where it affects the brain in such a way as to destroy or damage the capacity for self care while still leaving overall intelligence, verbal skills, personality, and the ability to express it all mostly or even fully intact. Such a compromise could exist in reality, we just don't know it yet because science and technology haven't progressed far enough to be able to explore that possibility.

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I'm autistic too and also sometimes wish my autistic traits were more "severe". Mainly because I can function well enough that most people who aren't familiar with autism wouldn't assume I was autistic. This causes issues when people don't believe that certain things are difficult for me. I feel that if I were more obviously autistic, people would see it instantly and not give me shit for being autistic but not being obviously autistic.

Another part of this is that I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my late 20s. I did HORRIBLY in school and neither my teachers or parents attempted to figure out the root cause of why I was having so many problems. I resent that I wasn't diagnosed as a kid. I think that if I were more severely/stereotypically autistic, I would actually have gotten the extra hep I needed and and would have a better life than I have now.

I don't think my interest in diapers/incontinence has anything to do with me being autistic. I've been thinking about if anyone finds out and asks why I wear diapers, I'd explain that I have sensory issues due to being autistic and I can't always tell when I need to pee.

On 7/22/2016 at 5:11 PM, Craisler said:

I have a question for any or all of you and I

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" How did you know that there was something "wrong" with you.---- You don't say how your autism manifests itself. "

I was bullied constantly in school for being "the weird kid". I gave no shits about the thinks all the other kids were interested in. I used to talk at length about my odd interests and was teased for it. I didn't care about classes in school that I had no interest in, but did VERY well in classes I did find interesting.

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You know, your first paragraph does a pretty good job of describing me and a fair number of the other boys at my grade school.

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Craisler, there are programmable hearing aids that go far at minimizing background noise and tinnitus problems. Ain't cheap though, about $2.5K each and you'll need two unless one side is 100% deaf. Folks don't realize the importance of hearing regarding social development and interaction. In my case I'm nearly a wallflower now because i can't participate in anything anymore :(

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Where I live if you feel that you need psychiatric help, you can admit yourself to the State mental hospital at any time, or to it's satellite facilities if and when they have space for you. The catch is that by law you cannot be released for 90 days except by a court order or due to a pre-existing arrest warrant (they do check for that). If during your stay they determine that you're a substantial threat to society, you can be held there as long as they feel is necessary :o Being that during that time you are a temporary 'ward of the State' they cannot serve you with a summons to appear or testify or a newly-issued arrest warrant until that status changes back ;) You're not allowed visitors or outside contact for 30 days, then if they deem it OK you can have one visitor one hour a week at a time they specify. Almost like jail except that low risk people can wander around at will through the day except into secure areas. There's

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5 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

Where I live if you feel that you need psychiatric help, you can admit yourself to the State mental hospital at any time, or to it's satellite facilities if and when they have space for you. The catch is that by law you cannot be released for 90 days except by a court order or due to a pre-existing arrest warrant (they do check for that). If during your stay they determine that you're a substantial threat to society, you can be held there as long as they feel is necessary :o Being that during that time you are a temporary 'ward of the State' they cannot serve you with a summons to appear or testify or a newly-issued arrest warrant until that status changes back ;) You're not allowed visitors or outside contact for 30 days, then if they deem it OK you can have one visitor one hour a week at a time they specify.

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Here in S.C. USA much of what goes on hasn't changed from the past. Nor does the State have a lot of financial resources to better things. As best I can tell, the extended timeframe was done to discourage unnecessary admissions while still making treatment available to all which State law requires. Of the few I've spoken with who have been through the experience, none received more than cursory questioning and observation within the first two or so weeks, and only a few hours counseling thereafter :o This system is hugely understaffed and underfunded, and being that only the poorest people are affected nobody who could help with that cares

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  • 1 year later...
On 26/07/2016 at 10:00 PM, Lee said:

" How did you know that there was something "wrong" with you.---- You don't say how your autism manifests itself. "

I was bullied constantly in school for being "the weird kid". I gave no shits about the thinks all the other kids were interested in. I used to talk at length about my odd interests and was teased for it. I didn't care about classes in school that I had no interest in, but did VERY well in classes I did find interesting.

You sound so like me at school; I did surprisingly well in my exams despite doing no revision, as for, reasons, I just couldn't. 
I totally understand the problem of people not recognising it because you're too "high functioning" as I'm in that group too; however many of the traits are becoming more apparent now, I think because I'm struggling to "normalise" like I used to.

Much of it in my case was invisible to many people, like how I verbalised but now for non-autism related reasons I'm having trouble speaking at all it seems to make it more obvious. Because of nuero problems I'm having I can't concentrate/think enough to make myself appear normal to people, and I was certainly forced to when I was younger, and I think it really held me back.

I'm so much more productive when not having to verbalise or deal with people expecting me to be nuerotypical. Even now with everything else happening.

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