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Jamie

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Well I can't stand RP but I think I could help you with one thing at least.

You haven't given anyone anywhere to go. You wrote about a character being unwell and calling the emergency number but you don't say what you want the other person or people to be... Are they a concerned parent? sibling? partner? friend? etc.

You also didn't give any details of you character. No one knows his age, race, what he looks like, gender, etc.

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10 hours ago, Kayfabe said:

Well I can't stand RP but I think I could help you with one thing at least.

You haven't given anyone anywhere to go. You wrote about a character being unwell and calling the emergency number but you don't say what you want the other person or people to be... Are they a concerned parent? sibling? partner? friend? etc.

You also didn't give any details of you character. No one knows his age, race, what he looks like, gender, etc.

fixed it

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