WBDaddy Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Okay, so I'd kinda like to frame how I want to see this discussion go in advance, and if that sounds presumptuous, my apologies. 1) I already know that I blew the ending on this one, no need to remind me. Link to comment
Personalias Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 I'mma do this chapter by chapter as I find the extra time. Link to comment
Personalias Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 8 minutes ago, WBDaddy said: Absolutely. Link to comment
TDAD22 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 Well Id be glad to give feedback but I would like to know two things first. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 4 minutes ago, TDAD22 said: What was the effect you were trying to have on the reader? What was the intention of the story? Link to comment
TDAD22 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 So Im guessing the trope was the sibling forcibly regressing the other sibling and getting their just desserts? Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 I get what you're saying. I think, more than anything else, when I approach a trope like this, it's more with the goal of presenting real people with real motivations and real attitudes and real responses. Link to comment
TDAD22 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 alright thats extremely helpful. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 Just now, TDAD22 said: alright thats extremely helpful. Link to comment
TDAD22 Posted February 21, 2016 Share Posted February 21, 2016 okay. I'll some feedback in a day or two. It's a lot of material and I want to be through. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 21, 2016 Author Share Posted February 21, 2016 7 minutes ago, TDAD22 said: okay. I'll some feedback in a day or two. It's a lot of material and I want to be through. Oh and, duh, I'm an idiot sometimes... One of the primary goals of this particular piece was to play around with the whole hypnotism thing Link to comment
Personalias Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Still reading more, and trying to just say the bad things that I'm seeing...so no much more to write right now. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 22, 2016 Author Share Posted February 22, 2016 17 minutes ago, Personalias said: You actually get better about the inner monologue and voice as you keep writing in the character, so I'm not seeing as much there. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Share Posted February 24, 2016 2 minutes ago, Personalias said: Okay. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Share Posted February 24, 2016 14 minutes ago, Personalias said: Next Question: Link to comment
Personalias Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 13 minutes ago, WBDaddy said: About a day or two before I wrote it, as I was trying to find a way to artfully extricate myself from a story I'd let go on too long. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Share Posted February 24, 2016 Actually, a revised epilogue that included the interaction with the psychologist would be quite fun and relatively easy to write. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Share Posted February 24, 2016 Thank you, by the way, for investing the time into this. Link to comment
Personalias Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 HAHA! I helped! Oh, and a line or sentiment just popped into my head. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Share Posted February 24, 2016 7 minutes ago, Personalias said: "I'm sorry, but you know as well as I do that Link to comment
Personalias Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 2 minutes ago, WBDaddy said: What you said in above post Not what I meant at all. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted February 24, 2016 Author Share Posted February 24, 2016 1 hour ago, Personalias said: Not what I meant at all. Link to comment
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