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Stop Defining Others


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Members of the ABDL community often spend years trying to figure out just what their diaper interests are; where they come from; what they mean; and how they define themselves.

Trying to better understand oneself is great! And members here can and should offer advice when asked, or just be ready to listen when someone needs to talk out their thoughts.

But we are all different and should not be trying to force labels and definitions on each other.

I bring this up as lately there has been a push by some members to force everyone to fit into and abide by their definition. Be it anti-fetish, pro-fetish or regressive.

I've asked these people to stop, but after a few days they start up again. This is my last effort to reach out and call for civility before I wax up the ban hammer and give it a work out!

For me, diapers are an important part of me. I believe - to my core - that I am a little boy. Not in the Peter Pan Syndrome or Michael Jackson way that interferes with my ability to be the grown-up I see in the mirror. But inside I know I need comfort and play time to be sane as my inner child is stronger than my mirror image. Diapers are not sexual to me, so I don't think of them as a fetish for me.

For others it definitely is sexual. Just because they wear diapers even when not having sex, doesn't mean it isn't if diapers are what makes them feel sexy. If someone says diapers turn them on, I think we can assume they know their bodies' and minds' reactions and KNOW it is indeed a fetish for them.

Others are adult babies, or engage in the lifestyle for age-play, comfort and security or dozens of other reasons.

All of these reasons are fine. As is how people choose to define themselves.

So let's stop worrying about labels, or trying to fit everyone in the same hole, and just be a fun and supportive community of people who have things in common but are still individuals.

I have posted this in a discussion forum instead of the admin category to allow for some productive conversation... but if you come in here just to re-kindle your fire and push an agenda I'd advise you to do what Christian's believe and pay attention to the words in red.

With Love,

Mikey

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** runs off to get label maker and labels DailyDi as "BOSSMAN" **

On a more serious note, you are what you wanna be. Plain and simple.

Personally, I fluctuate. I don't "age play" because it's not PLAY for me, it's real. It's not a "fetish". I'm just ME!

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One would think that practicing, or even associating with, a non-mainstream way of living would make everyone involved a bit more sensitive and accepting of others who do things ... differently.

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very well put Mikey, your right we can have labels if we wish, but no one should feel the need to force others to pick if they do not wish to.

its a very complicated lifestyle, most I have met on here don't fall in an single category. nothing wrong with being curious about labels, but no one should demand anything of anyone else

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7 hours ago, Anael said:

One would think that practicing, or even associating with, a non-mainstream way of living would make everyone involved a bit more sensitive and accepting of others who do things ... differently.

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Oatmeal is not yukky if it's not instant, has lots of real butter involved, and some honey drizzled over it :P

But yeah, I totally agree with DailyDi on this. Being TG I've been going through the 'label' grinder for ages and I've found the solution is not in creating concise definitions but in creating tolerance and understanding. Labels are irrelevant; it's who you are, not what you are, that counts :)

Bettypooh

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On 11/2/2015, 3:30:58, DailyDi said:

Members of the ABDL community often spend years trying to figure out just what their diaper interests are; where they come from; what they mean; and how they define themselves.

Trying to better understand oneself is great! And members here can and should offer advice when asked, or just be ready to listen when someone needs to talk out their thoughts.

But we are all different and should not be trying to force labels and definitions on each other.

I bring this up as lately there has been a push by some members to force everyone to fit into and abide by their definition. Be it anti-fetish, pro-fetish or regressive.

I've asked these people to stop, but after a few days they start up again. This is my last effort to reach out and call for civility before I wax up the ban hammer and give it a work out!

For me, diapers are an important part of me. I believe - to my core - that I am a little boy. Not in the Peter Pan Syndrome or Michael Jackson way that interferes with my ability to be the grown-up I see in the mirror. But inside I know I need comfort and play time to be sane as my inner child is stronger than my mirror image. Diapers are not sexual to me, so I don't think of them as a fetish for me.

For others it definitely is sexual. Just because they wear diapers even when not having sex, doesn't mean it isn't if diapers are what makes them feel sexy. If someone says diapers turn them on, I think we can assume they know their bodies' and minds' reactions and KNOW it is indeed a fetish for them.

Others are adult babies, or engage in the lifestyle for age-play, comfort and security or dozens of other reasons.

All of these reasons are fine. As is how people choose to define themselves.

So let's stop worrying about labels, or trying to fit everyone in the same hole, and just be a fun and supportive community of people who have things in common but are still individuals.

I have posted this in a discussion forum instead of the admin category to allow for some productive conversation... but if you come in here just to re-kindle your fire and push an agenda I'd advise you to do what Christian's believe and pay attention to the words in red.

With Love,

Mikey

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1 hour ago, Baby Brian said:

I couldn't agree more. How someone identifies should be up to them selves alone. Be it a true Fetish or a true Love, they are who they are.

Of course, how you say you identify needs to actually fit the definition too. Don't go around saying you've inexplicably loved wearing diapers since you were a kid then say you have a diaper fetish. That does nothing for our community- nor does it help you personally in coping with who you are when you're so confused like that.

Don't get me wrong here, I personally believe there isn't anything wrong with having a fetish. No matter how dirty or hidden in a bedroom fetishes belong, they are

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Cant fix stupid in my opinion. Some people don't get that this community isn't mainstream and they have this misguided notion that one day there will be some diapered movement that we all can go out in our DC Amors, and ABU diapers and not get second or third glanced

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14 hours ago, DailyDi said:

So you agree with me... but still want to define the terms for others? Let it go dude. Let people be themselves and quit trying to fit people into boxes.

Absolutely not. General society, and dictionaries around the world have already done that. In this regard I am nothing

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Literally in a thread about not categorising people or arguing about it, and doing both those things :doh:

Here's the hint: When the boss comes in and suggests something like DailyDi did above, it is usually a good idea to heed it!

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