JustJoe Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 A note from the Author: Hi, I'm posting first part of this story here because I'd like to hear some thoughts and of course, get some expert advice from some of the great amateur writers in the community. As a means of establishing some of characters and setting, this prologue takes place a year after the events of story itself and references those events, although cryptically. So what I would like to know is, is it too cryptic to the point the reader looses interest or does the mystery intrigue? My own view at the moment is that I'll probably need to rewrite and reveal some of what happened. Link to comment
willnotwill Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I find the addition of story explanation as part of the dialog Link to comment
TDAD22 Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 While I agree with above comment, I have to add that your command over language is tremendous. Link to comment
Anael Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Need to keep the same PoV throughout a paragraph and scene. Link to comment
WBDaddy Posted November 2, 2015 Share Posted November 2, 2015 Actually, the only error I saw in the second example other than the inadvertent double Link to comment
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