I think I'm Gay or At Least Bi

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

Being gay is hard. Being bi is gut wrenching and mind blowing. I think of myself as always sitting on a fence and not being able to choose what side to fall on. @Diapersissyboi I started wrestling my demons at the age of ten. Compounding it with my love of poop and diapers multiplied my demons. I knew in my heart and mind I could never come out to my parents as a diaper lover, because I knew that meant loss of all freedom. I did trust my parents enough to tell them at the age of 12 that I was bisexual. I sat one weekend with my mother to tell her my feelings and she knew what I was going to say before I said it. She put her hand on my chest and said plainly "this is where you love from" meaning my heart. She and my father hugged me and that was it. I still fought my demons until the age of 13 when I finally had sex with a girl also 13. That half of me was happy. The following year I satisfied my other demon by having sex with a boy 15. I knew in my heart now that I was true to myself and I loved both male and female. 

"Well i always considered myself to be straight. However after acting on curiosities i find i always am seeking a man to use me as i do have sissy and cd tendencies" Seeking is a word that I also chose when I went on a quest to find my new partner. I found my partner 5 years later. A gorgeous sissy male crossdresser bisexual diaper lover. We fell in love with our first kiss. We took it slow and dated 3 years before we finally got married. Many people talk about being open and trusting their partner and as I repeatedly say talk is cheap. To explain what I am saying I can only put it one way. Talk in one hand, and SHIT in the other. You get married for better or worse. Til death do you part. I did my quarter of a century and loved a man regardless if he loved my diapers or not. He loved me and I loved him, diapers be damned. I am sure you read many of the posts here and hear of couples fighting and bickering and actually breaking up and getting family member against family member at each others throat. I could care less where I live and I refuse to let society tell me how to live my life. You say you live in a city that is not welcoming, to hell with who they welcome and how they look at you. Hold your head up high and go out and have yourself some fun. 

You go and do that hook up and meet that person that will give you that orgasm of your life, "I still have never had the elusive hands free orgasm. I want to still but like I said the city I live"...  A hands free orgasm is something that many people will never get to accomplish in a lifetime. You never give up though. I am 55 years old and I refuse to cower down or back away because someone tells me this is wrong or that is wrong. PROVE IT TO ME !! You say you no longer care, and sweetie thats losing hope. Never give up on your dream, or your future of love. I am sure you have read most of the posts here on this topic. They go back to 2015. But so many that struggled with being gay or bi and it really is sad that people have to fight their own demons and then have to fight society and the haters and the bigots and homophobes, the prejudiced, the biased, the hatred is horrible. What is really sad is that many use the church to hide behind. It is sad to see that so many religions preach "GOD IS LOVE"  Show us this love !!!  @Diapersissyboi If you ever wanna chat with me I am here, please sweetie do not be afraid to drop me a message or a letter. I know it hurts and I know we can have a very long and prosperous conversation.                                            Peace & Love   Evelyn & Elle

Edited March 24, 2021 by Evelyn Dellcerro
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