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You truly don't have to explain much to others for wearing diapers. Be (mostly) honest and tell them that you're having continence problems, the diapers are a legitimate medical supply, and you need them. Leave it at that- if they pry be honest and tell them it's none of their business.

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Just a quick update:

My genuine incontinence problem is starting to stop, so I had to make a choice whether or not to keep going 24/7 now that there isn't much of a real medical argument to be made. I still have some problems with urge incontinence and I'm still having a bit of trouble controlling myself, but I could easily get by with an incontinence liner or something minor of that sort.

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I love what you said about friend knowing. I would love my wife to get to that point where my incontinence (diapers, pads, catheters) are a concern that my shares in a practical sense and becomes a normal part of conversation with her - and maybe very close friends. It's wrong, I know, to deceive folks, but I reason that once the incontinence has become legitimate, ie real, there's no more deceiving.

Did you talk with your friend about what is and isn't ok for her to mention and in what situation?

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What a nice friend to have.

I have one friend that knows about the extent of my diaper wearing. She only brings it up when I bring it up, though. There have been rare occasions when we were on the phone 1-on-1 and she alluded to it. But she is someone I really trust. I am eager to include another friend as well as a friends if my wife's so that we both have people to talk to when things become officially around my incontinence, trusted people.

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ScienceScribbler

Thanks for the updates. You might want to try a condom cath setup on for size, especially at night to help keep the bed dry and under a diaper. I found I definitely preferred the silicone ones.

As for the pelvic pain, I am guessing that you need to see a physical therapist to teach you the correct exercises for your lower back.

And by the way, if you are feeling sexually stimulated, that is a good sign...just act on it appropriately, the exercise is good for your body.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey scribbler

Get someone to look over your lower spine very carefully, especially if the mechanical position of your spine affects things. If you have a cartilage problem, be sure there is some sulfer in your diet.

In my situation, I am discovering that the amount of vitamin C I have in my body has an extremely noticeable effect on whether it is easy or difficult to pee as a side effect of Lexapro, with a helping of flomax to mitigate the difficulty peeing. I am also supplementing vitamin D 4000 IU and calcium 4000mg per day as I don't get out in the sun much during the workweek. Worth checking on your vitamin D levels.

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  • 1 month later...

My EXCLUSIVE, PERSONAL (YMMV!) experience is my wife wa nts a strong man, is turned off by bad diaper experinces with her ex, her daughter, and her elderly clients. But, she has training to understand that the turnoff is purely personal, so she prefers to leave it out of mind.

I don't think this approach is universal by any means.

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  • 3 weeks later...

This goes back I feel to the topic of seeing a counselor. To be able to talk without worry of repercussions is helpful as you choose what you want to do.

It is one thing to pursue this on your own with no one to answer to, but once you make the declaration, you cannot take it back. It is on your medical record or it is what your family/friends know or expect.

You need to know for sure this is what you want and going perhaps a few years 24/7 is necessary before making the ultimate step.

For those of us who have, this was done either with counseling, years of research, and of course weighing pros and cons to the ultimate on either end of the scale.

As DavidMW pointed out, once you are ic it is no ones business how you became that way, and also as he said you will find some people will be turned off and some won't.

My experience has been no one has yet been turned off or made a big deal of it. Only my wife was the one I feared and she, of course accepted me.

In the future, with relationships, don't necessarily bring it up in the first date, but if this is

Someone you want to be serious with, then would be the time to let them know. Be prepared for curiosity and questions. But the person will love you, and not care about a disability.

Get some help and be ready to look deep, but at the end of the day it will still only be you making the decision. Hope that helps :)

Spargano

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