Another person traveling towards Incontinence

[Spargano]

If one is going to be diapered at the doctor what sort of diaper should if be. Obviously it won't be a bambino bellisimo or a dry 24/7 but would an abena xplus or tena be ok?

The reason is, of course, the depends are not reliable when I have accidents, but given the selection in the store I could see why they would assume to see a depends brief/underwear.

Should I say I have dealt with this for years and researched incontinence forums to find better protection?

That's assuming he asks what kind of diaper that is.

Thank you again for the advice!

Spargano

[rh1979]

It sounds like you might be putting too much thought into it. I doubt your doctor will analyze the brand of diapers you wear. If you get questions from him, I'm sure he will be more focused on why your diaper gets wet rather than the kind of diaper you're wetting. Just relax, take a deep breath and let things happen as they will.

[diapertime42]

Wear an ABU Cushie and see if the doctor says "Well, doesn't that look fun!!"

[Spargano]

Thanks Ray,

I am going to go in a tena slip, and probably make myself sick with worry. I am sure it will be like others have said, but my nerves will likely be shot.

Spargano

[Inconito]

why not just wear a pull-up? it might be more legitmate - well I did when I went to the doc. and he asked about my problems, I just told him, that I started out with Tena pads but they couldn't hold if I experienced a full bladder release...he never lifted an eye when I told him about the pull up....

[Spargano]

Primarily because pull-ups have failed on every level for me. Given I will be saying this is something I have dealt with for years I figured the brief would be adequate. Then again, since this is moly first foray into this maybe a pull-up would be good...

Spargano

[Craisler]

For an annual exam, you need to wear something that is easily removable or at least can be lowered to allow the doctor to perform his exam.

[Spargano]

Thanks ! That is an excellent point.

Spargano

[munkey]

You can DO IT !!!

[bwakee]

I'm with MDL. I've never had to explain my diaper life to someone in person, but I've had to come clean about other things. Talking to your wife, apologizing, and explaining that your diaper wearing is an emotional dependence, may be very relieving. However, it's hard to tell how that conversation might go from behind my keyboard. You'll have to assess the situation yourself, and determine whether you want to do it or not. Thinking things like "I could say it like this" or "I'll just say this" could be taking a step backwards. That's trying to make excuses, or frame your words properly so you're not technically lying. My advice is to just tell her straight up. From what I can see from here, you've been disguising your emotional dependance on diapers as a medical problem, because you're embarrassed and you didn't know how she'd react. Then apologize. If she loves you, it shouldn't matter anyways. Coming clean like that and telling her will show that you have courage, and the confidence to reveal something she might potentially find unpleasant. But it also shows her that you trust her completely, revealing such a burried secret like that.

[Spargano]

Hi Bwakee, thank you for insights.

1. I have no desire to tell my wife that this started at an emotional need. She accepts me as I am and I am grateful. Given that she is playful about my diapers I don't she minds anymore. I do plan to potentially come clean and admit I like wearing them, but I think she has gathered that already. Given she is having thyroid issues that might push her to use diapers which I can tell she is clearly bothered by, I don't want to burden her with my enjoyment because then any help I offer would seem biased.

2. The urges are not suddenly upon me, they have developed over years. I am going to the doctor tomorrow in a diaper and will explain my bladder issues. He will likely ask me to undergo tests to make sure it is not bladder or prostate cancer which I am fine with taking because it never hurts to check. It's strange that I am starting to feel at peace with this.

3. Yes I agree. Just let it happen. I am trying never to push and hold the relaxed state. Given when I relax it feel like I have to pee I think I am doing it right, and given that feeling is what I have often when out of diapers I think i am close to a breakthrough if I can just get past some of these mental barriers.

Again, thank you for your encouragement!

Spargano

[Baby Brian]

Lastly, I'd highly recommend going to a doctor. Feeling the urge to pee frequently and not being able to do so could be signs of serious medical problems

[Craisler]

If you're having that many problems, why hasn't the doctor offered to put a stent in, at least temporarily?

[Baby Brian]

They don't really use stents any more. It turns out stents dramatically increase your chances of getting a UTI AND they cause scar tissue to grow around them which can narrow and cuts off the urethra. For temporary use to alleviate my straining I am having to use indwelling catheters for at least two days out of every two weeks (usually more often). This allows my body to recover from the straining while they figure out what to do next.

[Spargano]

So as an update I went to the doctor. I had to fast for 13 hours before the blood tests/urine test and because I was nervous about having a wet diaper on my first visit I peed in the toilet every 15-20 minutes after my shower. I showered at 11:30, my appointment was at 1:00.

I went to the gas station and peed there noticing it took some time to pee, meaning my bladder was probably low. I get to the doctors office and ask to use the bathroom because I felt the need, but I couldn't pee. I don't know if it was nerves or what. I decide I might as well hold it for that actual urine test anyway.

So when it came time or that. I can't pee. I think to myself, great, I place OAB on my sheet and now I can't pee. I drink a lot of water, still nothing. I apologize to the nurse and she says no problem try again. She leads me to the exam room and I drink more water. I go back, still nothing, back to the exam room, drink more, back to bathroom and finally some comes out, about a cups worth.

Doctor comes in, and I am not sure if he could tell I was diapered from the bulge but he didn't say anything. He asks me the basic health questions and the. Says, so did you want to do anything for your OAB? I said I have had it for years and handle it myself, and he said ok. I admitted to hearing horror stories of the medications and he nodded. Towards the end he said that for my migraines I might be able to take drugs with low chance of side affects, I said I would pass on hype too and admitted that the urine drugs would dehydrate me more leading to more headaches. He agreed and said that the bladder medicines also often cause dizziness. I told him I am comfortable with my choices. I am am getting a throat exam though because of difficulty swallowing.

Then he did the physical part if the exam, listened to my heart, breathing, had me lie down and check my chest, and stomach. All this, without me taking off any clothes.

He then said everything looks ok, you can go get your blood drawn. I asked, don't I need a testicle exam? He said not at my age. That seemed really weird to me.

Then while getting my blood drawn I pee my diaper because of all that water. It burned a little. I think I have hurt my urethra straining so much to fill that damn cup. Now I am peeing every 15 minutes and my urethra feels sore like when you take a catheter out.

I am going to pound cranberry juice in case it is the start of a uti, and if it is, guess it is good they already have a urine sample to see and alert me.

Still, I was shocked at how easy that all was. No referral to a urologist, nothing. I don't know if I should be grateful or concerned. Maybe because I mentioned this has been going on for years, but I did tell him I have never told a doctor before. I never mentioned diapers, and he never brought them up. I am guessing he didn't have to because when he was feeling around he had to have seen. He said not to worry, everyone has a health secret they don't want out there.

So... Yeah, now I guess OAB is on my record and I am good to go.

Spargano

[Spargano]

Hmm interesting https://www.zocdoc.com/answers/4785/what-tests-should-they-do-during-a-physical

So this is a trend now. Must make doing physicals less embarrassing for everyone. Still this varies from doctor to doctor so you might get an old school doc who wants to say "now turn your head and cough, please."

My pee doesn't hurt anymore so I guess I just needed hydration.

Spargano

[DavidMW]

Yep.

[Spargano]

Good point, and I joked with him too about it saying, I suppose I could tell you if I feel a lump... I mean I do wash them everyday

[Spargano]

Thanks to some feedback in PMs I made some adjustments and additions

Draft 2

[Spargano]

Second update from yesterday. I don't know if it is the doctor giving me the pass on my diapers or what but I am peeing much more easily in my various positions. Because my health is bad, I am walking/jogging in the morning and evening, this gives me the opportunity to practice relaxing when walking.

[Spargano]

For those who have done the training, was there a time when you felt you constantly need to pee and keep dripping a few ounces. I would think this a breakthrough if this didn't sting a little in the urethra. . . just not every time....I don't think it is a uti as there has been nothing in my urethra and I am very hygenic, plus if it was stinging at the doctor's yesterday it would have come up in the urinalysis. I think I strained my urethra and that is the issue. Nevertheless, I have to ask if this is normal? I am peeing every 10-15 minutes.

[DavidMW]

During my 2 months I progressed to a mix of what I called surprise and near-surprise wettings.

[Spargano]

Update from last night. Hydration is everything! I didn't drink to excess when I went to sleep and while I did wake up to pee, I couldn't and fell back to sleep promptly. Then this morning I went on the treadmill first thing. While I did pee on the treadmill it was only a few ounces.

Have to drink drink drink that water...

For my treadmill I am doing it twice a day. My goal varies per session based on how I am feeling. I will for sure shoot for 30 minutes, but lately I have been going for 2 miles (I just started a week ago so I am still walking 2/3 of the time at 3.5 speed), if, once I have passed either of those goals I see I am close to a calorie whole number 25,50,75,00 I will try for finish that (OCD for you). I weigh 243 pounds and am 6'1" 42 inch waist. Not sexy or healthy so I am really pushing to improve my life and feh confidence from that is helping my journey. Upbeat and happier.

Spargano

[Spargano]

Update: May have had a sleep wetting. I woke up this morning and released into my diaper in bed as is my practice and felt a catastrophic leak. My diaper was still tight and even had a booster but I figured "any diaper can leak" then when I went to change I realized why I leaked. The diaper was soaked front and back. It couldn't take another wetting.

I don't know if I wet in my sleep. I don't recall wetting that much before I fell asleep.

Progress is good also I have learned some cash saving method to flying if you aren't afraid to declare you are incontinent to a tsa rep.

Spargano

[Spargano]

You wouldn't think leaks to be a progress update, but for me I feel it definitely is. To not panic completely when you feel the leak happen and jut continue to wet without adjusting stream or stopping is so hard. If you trust your set up you will be fine! My cloth diaper caught the leak and I am happy. Now if I can get to the point of not changing my footing as I leak.... I will get closer to real trust and make more breakthroughs

Spargano