"comorbidity" Of Gender Dysphoria And Bi-Polar

[lil_butterfly_danielle]

So;

I've been dealing with the ol' healthcare system lately, and mind you i live in Utah where most doctors/medical/mental healthcare provides are presumably very conservative and religious. I certainly have symptoms of depression and anxiety, no doubts about that, but I've also been in the process of

[Dill_Pickle]

Let's see...dysthymia...dysphoria...depression.....might be hard to tell them apart.

[Bettypooh]

Hmm, where to start and how? OK, here's my story. I am TG, and I had finally reconciled those issues within myself quite well and almost completely when depression fell on me like a bomb going off I almost committed suicide! I couldn't figure that out because I was living the life I always needed to, and in that life I was happier than I'd ever been before- nearly pure bliss Saving you from the long details, I worked with a Therapist and my GP ro overcome the Clinical Depression they discovered. I went through the usual medication, increased dosage, change in meds, increased doses again, until I had had enough. The depression Meds did well to stop the 'lows', but they were also stopping the 'highs' and I discovered that for me, I cannot exist without feeling those natural highs when life is happy and going well Now most with Depression can do just fine with these 'highs' being attenuated by the Meds So do not take what I am going to say next as a recommendation for you or anyone else. because a mistake here can (and unless you are like me) most likely will be fatal

Much of the cause of my depression came fom other things in my life. First was withdrawal from nicotine- I had stopped smoking 2 months before and unbeknownst to me (even as good as I felt and felt about quitting) my body was reacting to the loss of this drug. I was actually instructed to start smoking again for medical reasons I also had anger management problem, problems with perception of others, and problems socially interacting with many different kinds of people. In time I had learned how to overcome those other issues through acting properly and watching to see that I always did that Except for the dam# ciggies, an ongoing problem I'm still stuck with With the continuing increases and changes with the Meds and my increasing loss of the 'highs' affecting me more and more, and with my learning how to mentally cope with Depression rather well, I took it on myself to stop taking the meds without telling anyone. As the meds wore off I began felling better, carefully watching for depression so that i didn't catch me off-guard and cause a relapse. After two months without meds I told my therapist and my GP what I had done. They were appalled, but I was determined to live without the meds. In the end they accepted a promise form me that I would immediately consult them and take their advice- including meds- should I have any problems I couldn't handle. Ten years later I'm doing well overall, but I still have episodes of depression, they are a pain in the a$$, and occasionally they adversely affect my life rather badly- especially when the episode has sneaked up on me without me seeing it beginning I can fight it off- my depression is not as bad as it is for many- but it takes all I have in me unless I get it stopped early. Several times through this last ten years I have contemplated suicide again, but now instead of wanting to act on that I recognize it as depression having set in without me being aware of that, and so far I've been able to fight it off from there with a little help from my friends and family Just to reiterate, I am NOT recommending this approach, it is not easy and it isn't the right way for most with depression. And should it be needed (which I hope never happens), I will keep my promise to my Therapist and my GP.

Getting back to you, when anything is strong within you- gender dysphoria, being ABDL, having an unusual personality, a desire for something you believe is taboo or wrong- these things will add up and build to a point where you feel overwhelmed by them- indeed you are overwhelmed by them- they you need help to find your way through the emotions so that you can have a happy life. This is going to take time so you must dedicate yourself to doing that no matter how long it takes. You also need to be totally open with your caregivers and do what they say. That does not mean that you have to tell them about anything that is not a problem for you- many here are in therapy with nobody knowing about their ABDL side because that is not a problem for them; they're handling this well Some have discussed this because they felt the needed to and generally the reaction was to hear that as long as it's not hurting them or someone else, don't let it worry you.

You're overwhelmed by it all so take the problems on piece by piece, one at a time, and as each one finds a solution the burden gets lighter, then you will find a point (hopefully soon) where you can handle it well and have the happier life you deserve. We're always going to have problems but as long as we have the right solutions we can get through them. That's what your caregivers want for you too so give them a change and work with them. Treatment of depression is still an inexact science that usually involves trying different things until you find what works. Give them time and you can make it- we're pulling for you and here to help of you need to talk or vent. This forum came about for that reason after the loss of a very wonderful person to depression. We're here together to do all we can to keep that from happening again.

Bettypooh

[Dill_Pickle]

Good words, Betty...

Anyone else looked at Wellness Recovery Action Plan? I started, but abandoned it as I got better.... Worth a look!

[Bettypooh]

I just did a Wiki-peek at the method, and it seems like a good approach The most important aspect of having Depression, Anxiety, or any other ongoing problem is monitoring it- either yourself if you can do that or through someone else if you can't. Many of us need an unbiased detached person to watch our symptoms if and when we can't see them clearly on our own. It took me two years of therapy to learn to spot my "depression is coming" symptoms and develop a plan to keep them at bay, but I am still learning because like life, some of the symptoms and solutions change over time