Incontinence And Relationships?

[Daniellexxx]

I've recently been diagnosed with urge incontinence and finding it hard to deal with infront of my boyfriend, we've been together 5 years (since I was 16) and I have had accidents infront of him a few times. But now

The thing I'm finding hard to deal with now is the nappies, I've wore pull ups a few times (on long trips etc) but I've always been able to hide it from him. Now I'm in nappies almost full time so he knows everything. He doesn't seem to find it a problem at all and has even offered to help me put them on as I can't seem to be able to fasten to waist band tight enough. I'd really love his help with a few things but can't bring myself to ask him.

I'd be worried it would somehow ruin our relationship if he started helping with something so intimate and embarassing.

Does anyone elses partner help with your incontinence? Has it changed your relationship at all?

Danielle

[Nat]

I think it's sweet he doesn't mind it and he helps you with it. I honestly don't see why it would be too much for someone. It's not like they have to check you or change you if you take care of it yourself. They are just a form of underwear and they keep your pants dry. Pads do the same except they keep your pants clean from the blood or urine leakage.

[caringlovingone]

If he loves you it wont change a thing. If he is offering to help then dont be afriad to ask if you need it.

It's something you have to live with so if it hasnt changed things now and he knows why are you worried

[Dill_Pickle]

Dear Danielle;

Your partner is wonderful, and wants to help you. You have a keeper! I somehow see the issue here as "all in your head" (all that needless worry about accepting help from your bf, not the urge incontinence). You can talk to a shrink about it if you don't believe me, but the $$ are better spent on a romantic dinner for two in a nice restaurant.

Not that "all in your head" isn't a real problem -- if I do the "wrong" thing (typically housework) and I'm tired, I keep thinking my wife is mad at me and reacting, even when I know perfectly well she will be happy with the result -- what the shrinks say to do is to watch the internal talk going on in your head, and to tell yourself the opposite when it happens so as to unprogram the negative thoughts (NLP) -- and, in your case, I would let him do a bit more gradually as I got more comfortable. Talk to him about your thoughts, and take responsibility for those thoughts, even if they are a bit out of control.

I should mention that changing a GF's or wife's diaper (or at least putting one on the female partner) is a pretty common male fantasy, especially here on DailyDi. It's not mine -- I prefer the diaper on myself, and all the physical attention that implies, and the protection from mistakes.

[Daniellexxx]

Thanks for your replies.

We have spoken about how I think it might change things and I do think it is all in my head. He's told me the nappy doesn't change the way he feels about me and he has said he'd really like to be involved in the whole process. I'm going to sit down and talk it through with him properly. I do really need help with changing myself at the moment whilst still getting used to how to do it properly so if he's willing to help then it'll make things so much easier

[Dill_Pickle]

Just remember to take things at your own pace....you don't need to do things all at once....getting upset is real, and not at all pleasant...good luck!

[iCrinkle2]

I also think its very sweet of your boyfriend to offer to help you with you diaper. My ex girlfriend would help me sometime get diapered if I asked her. She was really accepting and understanding of my urge incontinence and never made a big deal out of it. Every time I slept over at her dorm when I went to visit her she made sure I wore a diaper to bed. We are no longer together but we still talk every once in a while.

[Baby Brian]

Danielle, I too am urge

[wetabenas]

danielle, its great you have such a cool bf. relax and let him help. he obviously loves you and

[Daniellexxx]

Thanks guys

We had a long chat this morning and I felt much better afterwards. He's been helping me to change myself today and it felt nice to be able to go out with my nappy on properly. I had 2 accidents but my clothes stayed dry the whole time, something that hasn't happened in a long time, so I feel so much happier now. It didn't feel embarassing with him helping either, it actually felt right, we have such a close relationship anyway so it didn't feel wrong at all.

Thanks again

[diaperpt]

What a great story - and great relationship! Don't ever stop telling him what a great guy he is and I hope he won't stop telling you how wonderful you are!

[Nat]

Thanks guys

We had a long chat this morning and I felt much better afterwards. He's been helping me to change myself today and it felt nice to be able to go out with my nappy on properly. I had 2 accidents but my clothes stayed dry the whole time, something that hasn't happened in a long time, so I feel so much happier now. It didn't feel embarassing with him helping either, it actually felt right, we have such a close relationship anyway so it didn't feel wrong at all.

Thanks again

[Daniellexxx]

Yes, they'll usually hold 2-3 accidents depending on how much I wet. I try to change after each one but it's not so easy when I'm out.

[Dill_Pickle]

Thanks guys

We had a long chat this morning and I felt much better afterwards. He's been helping me to change myself today and it felt nice to be able to go out with my nappy on properly. I had 2 accidents but my clothes stayed dry the whole time, something that hasn't happened in a long time, so I feel so much happier now. It didn't feel embarassing with him helping either, it actually felt right, we have such a close relationship anyway so it didn't feel wrong at all.

Thanks again

This is good to hear.....puts a big smile on my face....

[nappyman]

I have been bedwetter for years and when I met my girlfriend I told her stright away about my problem and she was cool about it

[diaperdoc]

It's hard Danielle I know as I have the same issue and trying to meet some one well its hard to be open and not get judged or labeled I'm going through that right now so much for my dreams

[wimo]

I think, it´s rather hard to find a girl or a boy who´ll accept that you´re inconntinent.

But in my experience I said truely the facts at the beginning of a relationship. And after some years I was very happy to find a nice girl, who understood my problem.

And we live together since many year, and she´s helping me to buy and wash my diapers and plastic pants.

[dudewheresmyname321]

There is definitely a very unique intimacy in changing someones diaper. It's something so personal and just a little embarrassing that require alot of trust between you and the person that's changing you. It's encouraging to see that your boyfriend isn't a douchebag and is willing to help out and comfort you! That's the best. Having your buddy there by your side.

[Billiardnut]

I am doing online dating and one of my major fears of meeting somebody is telling them about wearing diapers. It is one of those things I have decided not to tell anybody until our relationship gets to the point we know each other pretty well.

[Baby Brian]

Never tell them on the first date. Try to find out if you actually like them first, and maybe gauge what their reaction might be if you were to tell the. Don't wait for too long though because diapers are a part of who you are, and if you looking for someone to love you then them must also know you.

[DiapermanAl]

I had dated a few gals since becoming incont. None of them were bothered by it. I told upfront before I started to get feelings for them. The last one I dated im now married to. She has become incont too since. She has MS. She did tell me she understood before. And now she told me she really understands more so.

[Michael R]

I've also struggled with relationships and incontinence. No one I've dated has ever come out and said, "That makes me feel uncomfortable," but I think it might prevent the relationship from becoming more serious, which is discouraging for me. Most people find diapers and incontinence gross, so it makes sense that a lot of people wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with someone who's incontinent. Hopefully one day I'll meet a special someone who can look past it.

[dlsmd]

I've also struggled with relationships and incontinence. No one I've dated has ever come out and said, "That makes me feel uncomfortable," but I think it might prevent the relationship from becoming more serious, which is discouraging for me. Most people find diapers and incontinence gross, so it makes sense that a lot of people wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with someone who's incontinent. Hopefully one day I'll meet a special someone who can look past it.

thats the issue i have and also my hope as well

[Baby Brian]

I've also struggled with relationships and incontinence. No one I've dated has ever come out and said, "That makes me feel uncomfortable," but I think it might prevent the relationship from becoming more serious, which is discouraging for me. Most people find diapers and incontinence gross, so it makes sense that a lot of people wouldn't want to be in a serious relationship with someone who's incontinent. Hopefully one day I'll meet a special someone who can look past it.

[Walesiswet]

I'm glad she has a supportive partner, my wife has also had to see me go through the journey of finding out what works and what doesn't for us both. Although I deal with my changes myself she will happily bring stuff to me if I leak and leave things downstairs if I come in late from work so as not to disturb her. You may find it easier to get yourself into a routine with changes like every 4-6 hours depending on absorbency. once you work out what's right for you you'll get some confidence back and not worry so much about wet clothes. For me and my wife it has bought us closer together, anyway if I loose her then i think I'd be screwed at getting someone else to accept my problem. hopefully you will stay together with a man that is so supportive.