Question...

[PeculiarChangeling]

I'm not exactly sure where to put this, but it seemed like the place...

I'm trying to figure out what my 'sexuality' is, and I really and kind of clueless. I'm male, and attracted to both genders, but...

I tend to find girls to be 'cute' or 'good looking' more often, physically speaking. However, when regressing, I identify more female and become more equally balanced. Also, while I think either gender can be 'attractive', I'm not turned on by men or women, with almost no desire to have sex with anyone...

I think this categorizes as 'bi,' but I really don't know and am kind of lost...

[ForbiddenFruit]

Just to clarify, are you saying that you don't have a desire to have sex while in your regressed state, or just not at all?

If it's the latter, sounds like biromantic asexual

[PeculiarChangeling]

Just not at all, really.

Thanks, by the way. It felt a little awkward asking that, but I've been wondering a while and figured this was a fairly safe place to ask, so... thanks.

[cheapthrills]

The problem is always the labels. Not the individuals problem, of 'not fitting' to a label, more the problem that there arn't sufficient labels to successfully explain what is an aweful lot more fluid, dynamic situation than was, perhaps once thought to be the case... I spent the first sixteen or more years of my life being hetrosexual, then quite a few years after I realised I* wasn't quite that simple, being I guess broadly bisexual, although it quickly came apparent I went down more on the homosexual side of things, but by no means 100%. However, as it is just a 'label', I've found it easier, of late, to just 'label' myself 'gay', or 'homosexual', rather than 'biseuxal', as my forays out of the 'homosexual', are so rare as to be quite unimportant. But that doesn't mean I'm not still attracted to females, sometimes, but it'd be a rare situation now were I to consider having a relationship of a hetrosexual nature; basically it'd have to be heavily fetishistic, involve diapers, or BD/SM, power exchange, etc. But I'd certianly never rule out such a thing... However you feel now, (or me for that matter), its not fixed, and can, and likely will change over time... Which is why labels of one sort or another are only really of so much use...

Mind, It can be an aweful lot of fun, trying to figure out which label 'fits' best, at any given time...

[WakkoWannaBe]

Not to steal your thunder or anything, Livings, but I've been wondering the same thing.

I don't really have a sex drive, and it's gotten to the point where I thought about identifying as asexual. However, I masturbate about once a day so I think that would disqualify me. The fact that I have that little night time habit also kind of goes against my absence of sex drive, I obviously have fantasies and desires.

My fantasies are always on men. I think I'm still kind of in denial about my gay side, but its definitely there and definitely strong. I don't rule out women, I have a concept of what "good looking" is and, in fact, I have a little crush on one right now. It's just that they don't fit into my sexual fantasies. So in bed I see myself with a man while everywhere else I kind of see myself in a nonsexual heterosexual relationship.

I'm not too worried about putting a label on that paragraph above...it's just accepting, I suppose.

[Bettypooh]

In my last relationship I was in the female gender role with a lesbian partner who loved TG's (surgery or not) My partner was not really a FTM TS, but heavily identified as male and dressed like one. Our sex drives didn't match too well but we got by (me almost none but it worked when called on, and her nearly every night) Ive been in hetero relationships but they weren't at all fulfilling to me. I was expected to fill a role that I am not, which is part of those relationships not working out. And in my 2 years as a woman other than at work, I went gaga over a couple guys but it wasn't reciprocal. Just for kicks I did drive one guy almost mad for me, more to see if I liked that (and I did) but I ducked out before anything happened. I became scared that he would be, ahem, overenthusiastic, and I wasn't ready for that at that time. Of course he knew what kind of person I was- I don't deceive people about that. So why am I still alone? Beats me. I keep an open mind and have made up my mind that I will not turn down true love wherever I find it. I just haven't found it yet, that's all.

So keep looking and keep your mind open to the possibilities. Know yourself and what you want as best you can, and with a little luck you might find that special someone who fits your needs exactly. And if anyone asks, perhaps the best reply is "I am me, and that's how we're all supposed to be"

Bettypooh

[Baby Brian]

Same here guys. I'm happily married (to a woman), but have always considered myself bisexual. Before I got married 10 years ago I had dated a few other guys and one other girl but eventually decided to settle down. I used to have a great sex drive but as I got older my drive went down. I saw a doctor about it and he confirmed my testosterone levels had been dropping. It turns out this is quite normal and I was only 32 when it really started getting worse for me. I'm 37 now and have almost no sex drive left. If you see your doctor again have him test your testosterone levels, you'd be a bit early for this but it's quite plausible.

(fyi, if your doctor offers you a testosterone supplement don't accept the gel. It's messy and a pain in the abdomen to use, plus it doesn't work very good any ways).

[thong5]

For me i have always been atracted to both sexes, even did the mariage thing, kids etc. When that ended years ago dated both men and women and as time went on i found myself only being interested in men. While i find some women as being attactive i have no interest in them in any way. I have come to realise that i am gay and am very comforable in that. I think i always knew that i was but it just took time to figure it all out. I hope for you in time you will figure it out and be comfortable in whatever you decide. Oh just note when i said i don't have any interest in women in any way i meant sexually. I have great women friends and we get along great but thats all it would ever be, i just wanted to clear that up.

[cheapthrills]

Also, there isn't ever one label, for any of us at all times, being gay, straight, bi, poly, pan, trans, etc., etc., is only one part of someones life, and not always the most important... People associate, identify, and label themselves as according to their favorite team 'I'm a.... supporter', by their work 'I'm a scientist/doctor/accountant', etc., by if they're a musical person 'I'm a guitarist', and yes, sometimes when its relavant by their sexuality, or some aspect of it, 'I'm gay', I'm a DL', 'I'm a sissy', etc., etc... any or all can and often do change with time, and to some extent circumstance, situation, etc... I never 'told' anyone my sexuality in my last job, as it never came up, it just wasn't relavent, I wasn't 'hiding' it, it just didn't make any differnce to the kinds of things I was doing in the job, or the interactions with my work mates... If I'd gotten more 'friendly' with any of them, and become 'mates', then yeh, it probably would have done... err... if that kinda makes sense...

[AbriForm]

People who are ABDLs can have heightened levels of homo-eroticism, much more so in men than in women. There's no clear definition as to why, though I've yet to find someone that actively disputes that this does happen in a strong number of ABDL men.

Like most prevailing wisdom on ageplay, I suspect the breakdown of men vs women on this subject is due to ABDL being a more sexual object for men, than emotional. The emotional component of ageplay is much stronger in women, as with all sexual elements, men favor the physical aspects before the emotional, and women vice-versa.

I will say the two most salient hypothesizes that I have as to why so many men tend to find men in diapers more attractive.

First, the diapers themselves tend to create a sense of sexual flare. You're attracted to the thought of yourself wearing a diaper, so seeing others in the same sexually-charged state becomes pleasing. Attraction to your own state then transfers to others. You think you're hot in a diaper, you see other men in diapers, the niche becomes transferrable. You find compatibility in the fetish, basically.

The other is that all things ABDL center around emasculation. Anything that defines a man is stripped from a man through ageplay. The genitals are covered in the diaper. The clothing is more feminine. The movements, norms, and interactions are about as un-man as you can get.

An ABDL male is, in many ways, filling a non-male role, babies tend to act genderless until they mature past the point of being a baby. It's a lot easier for an ABDL male to envision being a partner with a male, since they're no longer filling the male role. This could explain the subconscious path to an ABDL male finding non-ABDL men attractive.

Further, in a diaper, aside from a bulge or two, women and men are more similar with the diaper. It's one big fluffy space. Fluffy butts, fluffy front-ends. We're already attracted to this in women, seeing a man removed from everything that is male, and regressed into an emasculated state is, well, less intimidating. Add in the fact that an ABDL male is trying to achieve this themselves, and they connect more with another ABDL male as a result.

Awhile back I said one of the things I disliked about ageplay was that it warped my sexual orientation. I have to admit, this is something I'm far from alone in, and I beat myself up far too much on. I think if there was more research done into ageplay, the connection towards increases in homosexuality (and especially bisexuality) would be profound in ABDL men post-fetish than before they gravitated to the fetish.

The question of course remains a chicken and the egg subject. Does ageplay attract men who repress gay urges, or does ageplay warp the orientation of men who otherwise would be (more) straight? Hard to answer, but I think it's more of the latter than the former.