Work Is So Going To Get Awkward

[Valisia]

That is awsome. I plan to start my Hormones at the end of the month and go from there. I was having trouble with discrimination due to me trying to transition so I quit my last job and currently looking for a new one. All in all things should get better with time ^.^

Anyway grats on your new name. Wear it well and don't let life get you down

Valarie

[LilFozzyJ5]

Hiya Sarina,

its been interesting to read your passage, and to see the struggle you are having with acceptance, mainly with one biggoted women. It is so nice to hear that so many others have been supportive of you and your choices.

heres to a bring happy future lil lady!

Fozzy

[Guest Baby Rina]

Yea, most of my customers have been pretty cool with it and have had no problems or at most slight problems with changing over to my new name (i have worked there and dealt with some of them for almost 5 years habits are what they are) but they correct themselves when they use the old name. I've shown off some pics of myself from my time off and i get asked why i don't show up to work looking like that, and that i'm a very pretty girl and the answer is my boss. Even if she can't truly say that i can't, laws being what they are... she can still and does make my life very uncomfortable when i show up at the store looking like that on the clock or off... In the end though she is just one person, one person who seems to be on exceedingly thin ice with the company. The District Manager was in the other day to speak with her privately and then with me privately about some of these issues and when she left the store for the day after that she was almost in tears.

[Bettypooh]

When I let my true self emerge only my family had a problem with names and gender-specific pronouns, but then again I've been someone else all my life to them so I expected that. That they still loved and cared was more than enough. I never emerged at work though- it would have been impossible to keep the job I had at the time had I tried. There was really only one person who made the switch seamlessly, were it not for other things I'd have offered to marry her. It does take time but you seem to be doing well!

I know what you have said and feel about your boss, but I wish that instead of her leaving that she would learn and come around to reality- that would benefit everyone from now on, but if she gets fired she will not change or will change for the worse. However it happens I do hope that you don't have to deal with here current attitudes much longer. Either way it does seem that she has now been instructed so it will be up to her to follow the instructions given regardless. Time will show how that goes. You do need to tread carefully at work anyway, for it is very hard for anyone known to be TG to get any job anywhere. I know of no other category of people that have a tougher time gaining employment and keeping it, and all because some people cannot understand that not everyone's gender closely matches the body it lives in (and that sex has nothing to do with it either!).

Best of luck to you and keep letting us know of your progress!

Bettypooh

[Guest Baby Rina]

i think it's great that i live in a very rural community, with a small town attitude and the like. And i'm only having issues with a single person who regretfully is my boss. My one born again customer told me that one sin ans no better or worse than any other and no one on earth has right to condemn you just accept jesus in your heart and ... i dunno i tuned out at that point, but i got the end where she hoped i go to heaven because i'm too funny for hell

Just like on here i've had lots of customers come up and say good for me, and they're proud of me for having the courage to do this, and ya know, i just gotta keep going to be me. Otherwise what's the point in living? and that's why i tried to stop living a couple times before, this is a way better plan.

[babycory]

sweet

[Guest Baby Rina]

So today i showed up to work, working with the boss wearing eye shadow, and eye liner and she talked to me like usual, we spent most of the day on separate tasks but when i needed her i didn't have to go running around the store to find her. i'm not sure if like she's starting to warm up to the whole thing, or if i just got a pass because it's Halloween, but what i do know is that has emboldened me to wear more makeup to work.

[Bettypooh]

People adapt to change best when it's done slowly, or when the change is done wholesale but isn't so large as to be hard to swallow all at once. The worst thing someone can do is shock someone so much that they close the doors of communication. And less can often equal more, especially when it comes to make-up. If you haven't tried it yet, look up a specialist like a Mary Kay or MAC retailer (or a few!) and let them give you a "look". Of course they are going to want you to buy their products and you can do that but you don't have to. Just so they haven't wasted their time on me I usually buy something there, but get everything else on the cheap at drugstores or department stores. MAC is great quality and costs accordingly but most of us do just fine with the cheaper stuff. And for that, the cheap stuff is pretty much all the same no matter what brand it is.

In my own experience I started with 'passable; friends helping me out, and while they did well I still didn't pass as well as I wanted to. Then I found a Mary Kay dealer who showed me a look that changed me so little that I could see right through it-scary! But she also said she would buy it all back if I didn't 'pass' better, so I gave it a try. That one thing alone took me from 'passing' maybe 50% to at least 80% when it came to looks alone, but there's a lot more to 'passing' than looks when you're in the real world moving and speaking and living. Still you must have a 'passable' look to go any further. And 'passing' isn't what you see, but what others see in you, which is why having someone else work with you is so effective. Plus it's fun to have someone giving you such personal and caring attention.

I put 'passing' in quotes because it means different things to different people and means nothing to some others too. 'Passing' is not a prerequisite to being yourself or anything else, but if you intend to live the life of a a specific gender you'll find 'passing' in that gender makes life so very much easier.

Glad to hear it is going well with you!

Bettypooh

[Guest Baby Rina]

No i'm quite aware of that, and my friend Kaytee has been SO helpful in improving my makeup work and my hair, and just in general give me so much more confidence. My mannerisms have always been rather feminine, they just assumed i was gay and the like. My biggest issues are my dark hair requires heavy makeup to hide the beard shaddow until i can save up the money to laser it all away, the other is my voice. it's not deep masculine, but it's not feminine either, sorta like in the middle between the two but more people seem to flag it as masculine than feminine so i need to keep working on it.

[Elfy]

I'm happy things seem to be working out for you, and applaud your bravery!

I'm dealing with my own inner struggle and to be honest I'm not sure where I stand ith regards to my gender identity, all I know is there is a part of me that loves pink and girly things.

At the moment I'm content with having what almost seems like two alter ego's inside me but if I ever decide for something more drastic I can look back at what you are doing for inspiration

[Guest Baby Rina]

if you ever need inspiration you can always send me private messages and stuff to offer advice. I wouldn't really call me brave, because its not like i'm risking my life to be who i know i am. Things are getting better at work slowly, i'm wearing make up and my hair down at work, the boss lady still isn't using my new name but she's not using my old name either she's dodging it all together, other cowoker is slowly starting to get up to speed when i pointed out that "Joe" never brought in cookies or brownies... but Rina did... and when i made a comment about being more child than adult she was like "well i think all ... mmm can't really say that anymore either"

[Amyuser]

Wetman you are never to old, my Brother is in transition to become my Sister and he is 48 years old and will probably be my Sister when she is 56 or 57.

Nappy

[rickibrat2]

more power to you

i remeber the night we were eatting dinner with my best friend mother and his grand parents and they ask what he was going to do for summer school and he looked at me and said he was going to go as a girl.

they started to say something to him and i told him we would find a way so the story was she was living with his mother during the summer and her twin went to live with the father

first day of summer school no one missed him they talked about the couple dress in skirts for the next 4 years

my wife was one of the rare people born with both parts but nothing worked so the doctor made him a boy as he had what the docotr called a penis even new borns are bigger

we married at the age of 13 on paper and we hand many years with each other thought school and many plans till her death at age 19

she was killed in viet nam we still had the draft

[wetman]

more power to you

i remeber the night we were eatting dinner with my best friend mother and his grand parents and they ask what he was going to do for summer school and he looked at me and said he was going to go as a girl.

they started to say something to him and i told him we would find a way so the story was she was living with his mother during the summer and her twin went to live with the father

first day of summer school no one missed him they talked about the couple dress in skirts for the next 4 years

my wife was one of the rare people born with both parts but nothing worked so the doctor made him a boy as he had what the docotr called a penis even new borns are bigger

we married at the age of 13 on paper and we hand many years with each other thought school and many plans till her death at age 19

she was killed in viet nam we still had the draft

Rickybrat2, don't get me wrong now.

I am really interested in your story; more so because it seems to be rather unusual.

But I can't make sense of some sentences. You might have difficulties spelling or writing in general, which would explain your style; could you probably go over it again and run it though a spellchecker to make it clearer? Like this I feel that I'm missing some crucial bits.

[rickibrat2]

sorry after 6 months in a coma i have major issues with writing and i should now better

[Sissy_Tammy]

Hun, good for you standing up for yourself, I really hope it all works out for u, one option is to contact the ACLU, they have so much info for issues like this

[Guest Baby Rina]

A little update here... sorry if it counts as necroing on the post... the holidays and then my vacation sapped a lot of my time...

Boss lady hired a new girl, and is showing a lot of favoritism to her. Meaning that this current week she got more hours than I did. We're back to never being in the store at the same time, and she STILL will not use my proper name, now 4 months later. I just sent /another/ email to the District Manager on Friday and we'll see how that goes. It seems more and more when they talk she winds up near tears so I am hoping that's a sign she's on the way out.

Personally though I really am starting to care less because in other more AWESOME news I am looking at moving back out to Phoenix Arizona to be closer with a group of friends from my college days. I need to start ebaying stuff that I have and really don't care for like old baseball cards and some comic books, and then in like March or so I am going to list the house and when it sells be on my way out west again.

[LilFozzyJ5]

Hey its your thread, you necro away dear.

Good for you, a change might be just what you are looking for (Scuse the pun). and there is nothing like the support of life long friends to help get you through a difficult time. I wish you well in your move lass, fingers crossed you get a lot of dosh for your boys toys...

Fozzy

xxx

[Guest Baby Rina]

they're not /my/ boys toys, they're my DAD's boys toys so they're vintagey good

[musicaddict]

Glad to here you're going to be able to get away from her and spend time with good friends.

What comic books, out of curiousity?

[Guest Baby Rina]

Hell if i even know, theyre in the library with almost no control over them, i need to sort them out and see i know there's a rather large collection of Wolverine and Jonah Hex, an eclectic collection of trade paperbacks, it's 2 big book cases full of long boxes, i have no idea what i have and what i don't want anymore...

[musicaddict]

When you figure out what you don't want, can you drop me a pm? I might be interested in purchasing some of them.

[Guest Baby Rina]

Well anything i don't want was going to wind up listed on ebay

[musicaddict]

Then could you post the links here or pm me with them when you get to that point?

[KittenAB]

Arizona, I do miss that state. I'd say it's a pretty good move, in spite of the negative press it gets. Arizona is a real "live and let live" state, especially Tucson, but from my experience in Phoenix it's not any different. I'm actually regretting my having to return to Seattle more each day. If only my state had updated their records system sooner I'd still be in Arizona. A supportive family, supportive being the key word there, can be helpful. Prejudice is hard to deal with, and actually it's better when they are open about being hateful, let's you know you can't trust them. So my advice, move like you want/are and forget them. They are losing a more stable employee, as someone once said, it takes balls to be a TG.