Work Is So Going To Get Awkward

[Diapered Jason]

we are talking about 2 completely different people here. The woman doing these bag checks is from another store acting under orders from the District Manager not the Store Manager. The Store Manager and I have

[wetman]

Sarina,

[Guest Baby Rina]

I spent 44 minutes on the phone today talking with Human Resources again concerning my issues with being seemingly targeted specifically in these bag checks. The gentleman on the phone assured me that my issue was legitimate and that it has been escalated, a higher up member of Team Relations will be contacting me soon.

[Dill_Pickle]

Emphasize on your next conversation that you just want to do your job and be left alone.....and be treated fairly.....

and that you hate to do what you just did....

That will give upper management the idea they need....

[Guest Baby Rina]

I'm not a huge fan of having my stuff searched, but I can comply with that if I must. My bigger issue is the fact that it appears that my pack is being singled out for attention over my coworker's purse AND above the plastic shopping bags when purchases are made. They have the right to search our bags and purchases but they don't have the right to discriminate based on sex or gender identity. I told the guy I talked to on Tuesday that "I really hate making calls like this, I'm not a fan of rocking the boat, but I'm not a fan of people treating other people unfairly." and he told me that my issues were legitimate and that he could sympathize with me to about 50%, and that more people like us need to take a stand.

[Diapered Jason]

So far, so good.

[ForbiddenFruit]

So are they going to get back to you on whether or not this should be, well, less frequent in the future or is it just a show of support for the time being?

[Bettypooh]

This is probably more of a 'correct response' from someone who knows what they are supposed to say than anything else What the future brings will show whether they are willing and able to do the right thing. There is obviously a problem here but that never means it will be addressed properly. Rina is doing the right thing in giving them a chance to see what is happening so that they can correct it. In all likelihood the discrimination will continue somewhere, but in a less visible and hopefully less harmful manner instead after this is all over. In a world such as ours where you are not allowed to be yourself and are judged mainly on how well you hide your real self, that is about the best result most of us will ever get from situations like this

[Jen's Baby]

In the UK it's a bit tricky around the issue of bag searches. Basically your bag is allowed to be searched but only with your permission. Employers would then put it in your work contract that bag searches are to be expected and refusal is grounds for termination. The grounds for when they can carry out searches are laid out in the contract.

An ex used to work for a national hardware store and every employee in the store (including the managers if I recall correctly) were subject to random searches when they left the premises. The method they used was coloured pegs in a opaque bag. I can't remember that exact numbers here so we will say there were 10 pegs, 7 white, 2 blue and 1 red. The pegs went into the bag and shaken then the person leaving would reach in, mix the pegs up and pull one out and show it to the person holding the bag (normally one of the managers). If it was white then there was no search, if it was blue then it was a bag search and if it was red then there was a car search (I always remember that bit as I always found it funny that she could pull out the car search peg and not get searched at all because she didn't drive to work and a car search meant a car search only). Once the colour had been agreed the peg went back into the bag and the process started again for the next person. This way it was a random as possible and everyone had the same chance as pulling out a coloured peg as the next person. Staff could check the pegs before they pulled one out if they were so inclined (to make sure the right number of pegs were in there for example) You had days where no one was searched or had days when almost everyone got searched, which meant I never knew how long I would be waiting for her outside.

I only bring this up because if (well when) you next talk to the higher ups about the bag searches and they say something like "well its policy to do random searches" you can ask them how the random person gets picked and should that random person be picked behind closed doors? And if you don't agree with his reply maybe suggest a similar method as I stated.

Personally I'm against bag searches but I also understand why certain companies have to implement them so personally I wouldn't have anything against being subject to random bag searches at a company I worked for as long and the cards were on the table on how these searches were picked and that everyone was subject to them.

Sorry about the shitty boss, we all get one at some point in life. Try not to let them grind you down.

[Bettypooh]

I worked on a 'site' job where a factory was being built. The parking area was in the fenced 'secure' perimeter, and to go in or out anywhere morning and evening required passing a security guard. On the way out each day, you had to have your lunch-box open as you passed to show them you weren't stealing anything. There was one small flaw in their plan which many (but not me) took advantage of. At lunch you could go to your vehicle and back without being searched- no guards were ever posted for that. Tens of thousands of dollars worth of equipment went out to lunch and never came back

[Guest Baby Rina]

The issue is that we /don't/ have random person searches, they are REQUIRED to search EVERY bag when doing a bag check. However the woman was uninterested in my PLASTIC SHOPPING bags, Ruth's bags all together and focused SOLELY on my black backpack. She demanded that she "NEED TO SEE IN" it not, she needs to check for purchases, not that she was following bag check protocol, but that she needs to see in that bag. And when I demanded that she follow proper protocol and check Ruth's bags, she

[Guest Baby Rina]

Without going into too much detail until I've had a chance to speak to our /NEW/ DM yea 3rd one in a year ... there's blood in the water again, and I'm not looking to back down this time. Things have happened that are not kosher at all.

[bwiannewick]

The issue you have is unpleasant but one that everyone faces in states of the united states where there are NO STATE LAWS protecting you.

Trust me, I have been there. I do not need nor want to relay to you my issues working in Ohio. You need desperately to move and get on with your life in a place that is affirming. North Carolina is not that place.

Put in for a store to store transfer to a more protective state. Sell the house for anything it is worth. Move. The stress and dread that you are constantly at is unappealing.

You have the numbers of the VP and the HR director. Each and every time you have an issue at work you should dial them and ask them to protect you. When they refuse, you have a corporate issue.

Have you written a letter to the CEO of the corporation??? If you have not, you should do so immediately.

In your letter you should be seeking protected status as a minority and you should also seek an immediate correction to your hostile workplace. You should copy all the posts that you have put on this public forum as well. Just the posts, not the location.

In your letter you should seek a solution to be an immediate transfer and promotion to assistant store manager.

The CEO of the company MAY have a better understanding of LGBTQ issues and or a better understanding of the zero tolerance policy of the company or a better understanding of the legal exposure they have because your posts are part of the public record.

Do your research and ask for a corporate transfer to a state that supports you. But you have to sell the house you are in.

Just as you were dreading your stay cation, you powered through it and made the best of if. The same with the letter to the CEO.

If I would have written a letter to the CEO of the firm I worked for at the time in 2008 heads would have rolled. His sister is a lesbian and he would have never allowed what happened to me to happen to me.

It is all water under the bridge for you in the future. Now, I own my own successful international firm based here in Canada where I am free to be married to a wonderful husband and we are building a wonderful new home.

You will get there. B

[Guest Baby Rina]

I um ... what are you talking about ? I don't live in North Carolina, I haven't lived in North Carolina in a decade...

[Eir]

^ You are braver than I and I wish you the best! I would like to hear about how you have validated yourself as an individual.

[Dill_Pickle]

I um ... what are you talking about ? I don't live in North Carolina, I haven't lived in North Carolina in a decade...

[BabyLuvs]

Babt Rina,

[Guest Baby Rina]

In a word ... Don't. I'm not exactly fond of meeting new people, especially ones who only want to be my 'friend' to 'help' me. Though I might identify as a woman I was brought up on the idea that a man should be able to stand for himself, and on his own terms. Just because my armor has been refitted to accommodate for new curves doesn't mean I don't still hold to that idea. I can fight my own battles, I do fight my own battles, and when I need help I prefer to turn to those who I know I can trust not those who tell me I can trust them.

[Dill_Pickle]

So how are those battles going?

[Guest Baby Rina]

Sword is dull and bloody, armor dented and straps have broke, but I still stand tall... so you know there's that