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Embarrassed By A Nurse


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Today I had a lovely little ER visit. Last week, I saw a new Gynecologist, who not only traumatized me by telling me that my pain is all in my head, that I was lying when I said I couldn't take certain medicines, that my Internalist misdiagnosed my ulcer and it was "nothing", assumed my three miscarriages were abortions and I had to correct him 3 times, and looked at me in shock when I said my tubes were tied, but missed a very important thing that ANY gyno should notice... I have a UTI! After two hours of being unable to leave the bathroom because of excruciating pain and constant dripping, my boyfriend decides I should go to the ER instead of trying to find a new doctor and wait days. I've been having little leaks in my plumbing for a week, but only today was it super painful and constant. Painful is an understatement really... more like peeing fire mixed with glass shards. Those of you who have had a bad one understand completely I'm sure!

Anyway, so I switch my poise pad out for a goodnite so I can safely leave the house, and we get there, wait the usual hour to get in, and I explain to the intake workers and the nurse quietly in front of strangers about it hurting to pee, the constant urges and accidents, and I couldn't leave the house without protective garments. That was bad enough, but later, jammed in a single triage room with three other patients with one curtain amongst us all for privacy, I overhear a nurse use my name, and tell another person, presumably a coworker and to be fair probably another nurse, about feeling sorry for me, and "she can't even hold it, she keeps having accidents". Ok, I'm a DL, and its all fine and dandy when I'm wearing a diaper for pleasure and I use it. Not a big deal at all. But to be completely out of control of my urine, and have a stranger talk about it in a whole room of other strangers was totally mortifying. I almost started crying. I never saw a doctor, none of us did, even the woman with the broken nose, or the one with a broken elbow. The little boy with stitches in his head was the only one and that's because they had a pediatric surgeon come in. I don't think they had one on call, just a Nurse Practitioner. I just can't believe they talked about my personal problem out loud, in front of all these people, using my name, and it's not like they were talking to me about it. Discussing it here is one thing... but there it was very humiliating to me, and not in any kind of good way at all. Every patient in that whole place didn't need to know I can't stop peeing on myself, and I certainly didn't want pity, just relief.

The bright side is now I am being treated with antibiotics, although the only thing for pain was the prescription version of AZO that I already have a box of at home. I know the drill, gatorade and cranberry juice, take my medicine, etcetera... been there done that. If anybody has any more tips on dulling the pain I'd love to hear them, as I don't know any that help.

I have come to the conclusion that medical care in Southern California sucks.

Has anybody else ever been embarrassed by a nurse like that before?

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My sister-in-law went to ER last month with lower stomach pain; then again this month.This time they mentioned kidney stones.She is getting treated for those now. The Doctor was shocked they didnot tell her after the 1st visit; he pulled her x-ray from the 1st visit & seen them right off the bat. She had some of the same pains as you too.

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My internalist checked for stones when I saw him a couple weeks ago for my adrenal fatigue and found out about some vitamin deficiencies it was causing, and at that time I didn't have the infection yet, and no stones. I assume since my immune system is still under the weather, that normal activities caused the infection, as I haven't had any tub baths or used spermicides or anything else unusual. :( here's hoping for a speedy recovery, and finding a new gyno that won't traumatize and belittle me. I've had some bad gynecologists before, but this was one of those "how the hell did he get a medical license" kind of experiences. No woman should ever leave her gyno's office crying. Ever.

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Most doctors are just arrogant pricks ... and many nurses. You have to direct and demanding with them now, because they know they are getting paid and don't really have any reason to treat you well. If your insurance will allow it, shop around. If you have to go to the ER, scout out the best hospital in your area first that your insurance will allow and go there. If any doctor treats you like this, tell them you will sue if they make any mistake no matter how minor, at least it will make them nervous enough to hurry up and treat you as best they possibly can. I did it a few times, it's amazing how well it can work.

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Most doctors are just arrogant pricks ... and many nurses. You have to direct and demanding with them now, because they know they are getting paid and don't really have any reason to treat you well. If your insurance will allow it, shop around. If you have to go to the ER, scout out the best hospital in your area first that your insurance will allow and go there. If any doctor treats you like this, tell them you will sue if they make any mistake no matter how minor, at least it will make them nervous enough to hurry up and treat you as best they possibly can. I did it a few times, it's amazing how well it can work.

The problem I run into with that, Kitten, is that to be treated anywhere around here you have to sign malpractice waivers unless you're literally going to die right there if your aren't treated that minute. And I am still on Medi-Cal (California's Medicaid) until I get married next year, since employers don't count partners that aren't married. Therefore, I don't have many choices. With the new healthcare overhaul, many doctors stopped taking new patients in order to avoid taking on any new Medicaid patients, because the government pays them even less than they used to now. Often these doctors will ask what insurance first, before telling you if they will take you. I had a great Gyno when I lived in Missouri... kind, caring, listened, tried everything he could think of to help me, and never doubted what I experienced was real and distressing. I'm still in his files... when I move back there you bet I'm going back to him until he retires! Still no luck getting a GP who isn't a jerk though, here or there. Had one years ago in the Ozarks but moved too far away to see him under my insurance plan. Another listener who really cared about his patients, and would even stay after a bit if you truly needed to be seen that day and the schedule was full. Coincidentally, that one good GP was who referred me to the good gyno.

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The problem I run into with that, Kitten, is that to be treated anywhere around here you have to sign malpractice waivers unless you're literally going to die right there if your aren't treated that minute. And I am still on Medi-Cal (California's Medicaid) until I get married next year, since employers don't count partners that aren't married. Therefore, I don't have many choices. With the new healthcare overhaul, many doctors stopped taking new patients in order to avoid taking on any new Medicaid patients, because the government pays them even less than they used to now. Often these doctors will ask what insurance first, before telling you if they will take you. I had a great Gyno when I lived in Missouri... kind, caring, listened, tried everything he could think of to help me, and never doubted what I experienced was real and distressing. I'm still in his files... when I move back there you bet I'm going back to him until he retires! Still no luck getting a GP who isn't a jerk though, here or there. Had one years ago in the Ozarks but moved too far away to see him under my insurance plan. Another listener who really cared about his patients, and would even stay after a bit if you truly needed to be seen that day and the schedule was full. Coincidentally, that one good GP was who referred me to the good gyno.

Ouch, here all they have is a "I agree to let them help me" paper, all it does is say you agree to let the doctors do what they can to help but doesn't absolve them of malpractice if they screw up. So far Washington hasn't been hit as hard by this stupid take over of health care, nor have they made too many cut backs. But we will see that soon for our state Medicaid as well, our cities are going broke now as well. Here the best doctors use to be at a "sliding scale" clinic, but they are all quitting because the admin there is forcing them to take unaffordable pay cuts. The whole system in the US was a house of cards and instead of fixing anything they just blew on it, which sucks for people who need it.

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*is watching all the cards fall down* Your card analogy nails it on the head. That is exactly what they've done. I feel even worse for those people who will be stuck with the government insurance. I only have to suck it up another year, since I'm marrying someone with great insurance, and his company doesn't discern a difference whether you have pre-existing conditions or not! Unfortunately, not many people get that lucky. Some days, I weep for all that is happening to our once beautiful country.

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Well you can thank for the idiots in government for being incompetent with health care legislation, and the idiots suing the crap out of hospitals and doctors. Well maybe if people were just o keep an eye on this stuff we wouldn't have this problem now, ahh who knows.

Well I am just glad that I haven't needed to go to the hospital yet. With a 5k up front to get insurance to kick in then having to pay 60 percent of the cost Wally World's health care insurance is crap.

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Walmart's employee EVERYTHING is crap. I cannot imagine working there... I've had several family members do so and they left as soon as they found another job. Don't get me started on them lol... I can go on for hours. Hope you find something better in the future!

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sorry you had such a bad experience.

unfortunately doctors and nurses are human too and are subject to biases, doubts, and being dickheads just like anyone else... and unfortunately, doctors and nurses forget their patients are humans and can hear them when they are talking on the otherside of a paper thin curtain etc..

again i'm sorry all that happened to you, and do hope when you find a new treating doctor they are much better for you.

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I know what you mean about there being little to no privacy in So Cal ER triage rooms.

I spent a few hours waiting in an ER up in Lancaster, CA a few weeks ago after my father crashed his motorcycle on Angeles Crest Highway.

You could hear just about everything that was being said to each individual patient.

I could probably tell you what every single one was in there for.

There were plenty of Doctors at this one though (private hospital). Just none of them were too keen on treating patients.

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Thank you Sarah. Can you believe that while walking down the hallway asshat gyno had the nerve to ask how I got my insurance since "it's very hard for a healthy young woman to get" and when I said I have a mental disability, I was stopped and he demanded an explanation. What does the type of emotional disorder have to do with the health of my reproductive organs??? Afterward is when he treated me like I'm stupid and crazy and accused me of lying and not knowing anything about my physical conditions. I am a very self aware person. I know when something is wrong and I know what my body should and shouldn't be doing. Before I realized how bad at math I am I wanted to be a doctor and was fascinated with the human body and what it can do. I'm not giving up until I find a good one (two, in this case). If I hadn't been forced to sign a malpractice waiver to be seen you bet I'd have a lawyer on him. I hope other women do not have to endure that crap and somebody sues his pants off.

I did have to take one of my stronger painkillers last night that I have saved away for when severe pain strikes (I know, I know, they're not for that ailment, but when you have to get up early, you need to sleep, and it eased my symptoms long enough to do that) Thankfully, the medicine I started on yesterday is already working, I'm much less uncomfortable and the AZO is enough for pain. I can leave the house with just a pad and be OK for a few hours. I'm honestly glad that at least the ER nurses listened and I got treated. One woman was removed by security, when she obviously needed to be admitted to the psych ward. She was uninsured and told to go to the county hospital. Same with the broken nose woman, they said she had to go to the county hospital to have her nose set the next day. Gave her a tylenol, had a social worker talk to her about pressing charges on her ex, and sent her home. I didn't think a hospital could do that to an uninsured patient. Times are changing. Very, very glad to have insurance.

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*is watching all the cards fall down* Your card analogy nails it on the head. That is exactly what they've done. I feel even worse for those people who will be stuck with the government insurance. I only have to suck it up another year, since I'm marrying someone with great insurance, and his company doesn't discern a difference whether you have pre-existing conditions or not! Unfortunately, not many people get that lucky. Some days, I weep for all that is happening to our once beautiful country.

In three weeks you can, hopefully, vote to correct some of the mistakes made in Washington, DC. Hope you feel better soon. Doctors practice because they don't really know what they are doing.

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OH crap that's three weeks away?! I haven't found where to register here yet. And there are some really important ones here that need my help! I thought I had more time... I've been sick and time has flown.

go down to your DMV, and they'll have the paperwork.

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When I was 16 I started wetting the bed and my mom insisted we go to the doctor.

We went to the pediatrician I had been seeing since I was a baby. He was very nice a respectful as always and has always been a great doctor.. the embarrassment came when the nurse came in and it was my neighbor who knew our family very well... my older brother was even dating her daughter. The doctor had given her a detailed description of the problem so she knew exactly why I was there. I was petrified but she was very sweet and to this day has never even mentioned the visit to me.

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Working in medicine in some capacity, I can say that what you relate is RANCID with HIPPA violations. These docs and nurses didn't obey proper protocol and if you have two witnesses, you could have a huge payday on your hands. It's also not the doc's place to question your payment information. Being a public hospital (or if the hospital receives a dime of federal money, which almost all in the US do) he is not allowed to deny you triage treatment for concern of payment... or again, with witnesses you have the potential for a big payday. I'm not a lawyer, but the boys from legal hang this "Sword of Damocles" above our heads all the time. So there's something fishy at this hospital. At best they are running a "sloppy" operation administratively. At worst, they are blatantly breaking the law, in which case it SHOULD (nee must) be reported.

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I'm sorry that you had that happen to you. I sure hope that you are getting to feeling better soon. Those are never fun. I tell you, it's sad that physicians are getting sloppy with their work or are hardly ever available to reach. You always have to talk to their secretaries or their nurse practitioners.

As far as you being able to overhear the conversation of the people working in the hospital, could you look to see if there are any laws about patient privacy? We have hippa laws that prevent hospital workers from disclosing patient information without their consent. I'm sure you could file a complaint with the hospital regarding what happened. I have a relative who works in a hospital and most hospitals are pretty strict on patient confidentiality. There's information on how to file a complaint about a nurse at a hospital.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5677489_file-complaint-nurse-hospital.html

Personally, I would contact your insurance company and see who you could direct an anonymous complaint against this gyno dr. He has no right to ask you how you recieved your insurance. I contacted my insurance company and filled a complaint against a dr who I felt failed to give me a full assesment before prescribing me with meds. It was rough and made me sick. The complaint will go to the medical board they go in and be in a public file. There's a link to more information on how to file a complaint on a dr below. Each state has different proceedures.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4916614_file-complaint-against-doctor.html

I hope that helps you out and that you are feeling better. It's no fun feeling bad and having to deal with unpleasant health professionals on top of that. But I hope that you do at least look into filing the complaints. Not many people do when they should.

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No witnesses I can track, as everyone in there was a stranger. My boyfriend was taking care of my daughter for me so was not in there. No dinero for a lawyer even if I wanted to push it either. I still haven't finished my divorce for the same reason. Everything costs, and out here, it costs at least triple what I'm used to. Seriously... I had the same amount of space in my apartment in Missouri for $350, I pay $1200 here. Granted, I also have more money than I did there, but still. Nothing I can feasibly do. I won't be returning to that hospital. We went to one in Pasadena in hopes of better care. Apparently, we should have stayed local.

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One thing you can do Little Faire is to report the nurse/Hospital to the professional association for violating confidentiality under their professional code of ethics. The only way the disclosure of this info would have been acceptable is to improve and facilitate your care and only in a private meeting place. Thats my suggestion. It may not do anything but slap the nurse on the wrist, but maybe give her a wake-up call that they need to be more sensitive to confidentiality issues regarding the care and treatment of their patients

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210 to the 134, but you'd be passing through Pasadena anyways, so whats the point you know?

I moved to Southern California from New Mexico. We had 2 highways. an East/West, and North/South. Surface street speeds were 35mph MAX....

When I moved out here I got lost SO many times on the freeways. Until I realized that the 405, the 5, and the 15 all run North/South (all end in fives). The 10, 101, 91 and the 210 run East/West (all have ones).... all roads connect to one of those, eventually. So I could figure things out without GPS or Maps. Surface Streets still kick my butt.

I've gotten only a few surface cities figured out, and only the areas I regularly go to. GPS units, or even the GPS on my phone is a must have for me to get around.

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I can pretty much get around anywhere in Monrovia, and I can at least not get completely lost in Arcadia or Duarte, but that's about it. Anywhere else, and my boyfriend drives. Back home it wasn't so complicated. One city about every 20 miles or so. Memorizing all the cities you need to visit in a given year wasn't too hard. Here, it's such an urban clusterf*ck, I don't know if I'll ever memorize everything.

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