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Asexuality


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I generally find fairly easy to ignore the ads. :)

Oh, I'm mostly apathetic about the ads. It's more the slew of people telling me that I just haven't had sex with the right person etc. etc. etc. and they'd tell me how to enjoy sex that's the annoyance for me. It's happened on every broad fetish forum that I've participated in the moment I've shared any sort of picture, so I'm not anxious for a repeat show.

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I think that I'd call myself an autosexual, meaning that I prefer to get off by myself. In high school, I once concluded that I was gay because the girls did not turn me on. It's never been a problem attracting girls, my problem has always been keeping them away because they always end up getting frustrated with my lack of sexual interest in them. I am told that I'm quite boyishly attractive, and am in extremely good physical shape. It's not girls fault that I have no sexual interest in them, I've been with some women whom I consider as attractive and intelligent as they get, and as much as I enjoy their company, I just don't have the desire to go further. After I thought I was gay, I started dating guys only to find the same problem. So, thereafter, I concluded that I must be bisexual, since neither gender attracted me more than the other. Then, after a decade of thinking I was bi, but not really dating many people, I ran across asexuality.org where I realized that I was closer to asexual than bisexual. But, it doesn't entirely encapsulate me because I actually have quite a decent libido, just not towards other people. I like diapers and bondage, and am quite skilled at causing world-shattering orgasms on my own. It sounds strange to say, but I have far more pleasure going solo than with other people.

To be honest, I guess that technically I'm still a virgin. I've tried getting blow jobs before, but found them all to be quite awful and wasn't able to get off. Perhaps it's all the germs and dangerous teeth that turns me off. I tried intercourse with both genders, and without going into detail, let me just say that it never worked out. It's just gross and awkward in my opinion. I am currently seeing another guy a few times a week. We mostly are just friends who sleep in the same bed, like drinking and wearing diapers together, and sometimes have bondage sessions. We've never shared sex, but I will get off in front of him and it turns him on to watch. He's gay, sexual, and sleeps with other men on occasion, and it doesn't bother me at all.

I don't think narcissism adequately defines me, because I'm not really infatuated with myself. I appreciate beauty in others, and can recognize what others find sexually attractive. I don't really dwell on myself, and am reasonably socially engaged, and have lots of friends. But I have been called it before, because I think that I'm pretty good looking, and have been single most of my life. Maybe I am a little, but I think that we all are to a degree. I like to think of it as healthy self-love, as opposed to obsessive self-indulgence. Also, I have to admit that I am afraid of having a long term relationship with a woman. Not sex, but the actual relationship. Women are unpredictable and dangerous. My mother, my best friend's ex, my stepmother, my grandmother, and many many others have proven themselves to be incapable of being stable rational beings. I can appreciate them from a distance, but I try to keep crazy at arms length. Add to this fact that the law can royally screw you over if/when a crazy woman tries to use it against you, and it just seems like something I'd rather not have any part of. Currently my best friend is considering fleeing the country because his ex has screwed his life over so entirely and completely. I really feel bad for him, and I'm fairly certain that he'd have committed suicide by now if I wasn't his only friend, and tried to help carry him through his travails with crazy psycho girl. I've just seem so many men have their lives ruined or messed up by women, that honestly I am afraid of them, and would only consider getting involved if I first consulted a lawyer and drew up a binding contract that would protect me from all forms of crazy if/when we broke up. I've actually told one woman this, who was getting kind of close, and I think that she must have had crazy on the mind, because it scared her off.

From Urban Dictionary, here's some interesting (and true, for me) descriptions of autosexual.

sexual orientation toward oneself; that is, preferring self-gratification over other forms of sexual activity. Often occurs as a result of numerous failed attempts at interpersonal relationships, leading the individual to make a conscious choice to become autosexual rather than face disappointment and frustration yet again.

Numerous advantages to autosexuality include:

- no risk of pregnancy

- no risk of STD's being transmitted

- able to 'get lucky' every time at the bar or club

- the sex is always good

- no relationship issues like jealousy or cheating partner

... need I say more?

I mean, are there ANY bad things about it?

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Due to circumstances beyond my control I have been celibate for about 7 years. I love, miss and need sex with another.

It's been a little over 2 years for me.

I can honestly say, I don't miss it.

Guess I would miss diapers more.

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Oh, I'm mostly apathetic about the ads. It's more the slew of people telling me that I just haven't had sex with the right person etc. etc. etc. and they'd tell me how to enjoy sex that's the annoyance for me. It's happened on every broad fetish forum that I've participated in the moment I've shared any sort of picture, so I'm not anxious for a repeat show.

They don't do that in the asexual discussion. :P

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I think that I'd call myself an autosexual, meaning that I prefer to get off by myself.

There are a number of asexuals who would apply the term 'autosexual' to themselves. There are also others who, though they may not 'scratch their itch' that often, can generally only do so by themselves. Frankly, only my trusty handmaiden, Lefty, is the only one who get me off reliably. :whistling:

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unfortunately im way to normalized or un normalized !lol with what i do nothing seems to work for me .I could only wish that i gould get off or sexually excited about something it is sad to go through life this way .But im seeing a councillor about all this .Will it help .I do not know but at the moment i accept it

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I think that's the big thing for me too. I really hate that I can't seem to experience something that the entire human race is genetically configured to be able to enjoy.

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Eh, it's not all that it's cracked up to be. You're not missing much.

I'd rather have experienced that pleasure, and know its degree, great or not, than spend my entire life wondering. You can say "you're not missing much," but having experienced it, you really can't know what it's like to be unable to experience it.

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I'd rather have experienced that pleasure, and know its degree, great or not, than spend my entire life wondering. You can say "you're not missing much," but having experienced it, you really can't know what it's like to be unable to experience it.

Okay, fair enough; my apologies for presuming. I hope you're able to one day satiate that curiosity.

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Okay, fair enough; my apologies for presuming. I hope you're able to one day satiate that curiosity.

Ditto, and no apology necessary. Sorry if I was a bit short with my response. :)

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Naw, you weren't short at all. I simply realized that I was being somewhat unthinking, even if albeit unintentionally.

My doctor is actually working on it. She is determined, by her own words, to make my mate "hug [her] in thanks." We'll see if maybe someday I'm not asexual. :)

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My doctor is actually working on it. She is determined, by her own words, to make my mate "hug [her] in thanks." We'll see if maybe someday I'm not asexual. :)

Hmmm... So are you actually wanting to have sex, but just don't enjoy it? My impression of asexuality is that it's more like an orientation; case in point, I'm fully operational and engage in a bit of ummm... 'self-lovin' every few days, but I've no interest in pursuing sex with anyone else. Doing it just to please my partners has become a f*cking chore, literally. It took me a while to figure out that it wasn't about me having the misfortune of continually forming relationships with women who possessed the sex drive of a jack rabbit, it was me who had the <I>reduced</I> interest in sex.

I recall watching a video on youtube by another ace who explained it something like this: asexuality is just an endpoint on an axis of sexual interest, with sexual addiction at the other end. Just as you can have people who are a lot MORE interested in sex than average, you can also have people who are a lot LESS interested. I rather like that explanation.

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I am, as of yet, unable to experience pleasure in that sense to the extent of orgasm, so one would say I'm asexual in the more literal sense. I am capable of arousal but I have yet to experience anything beyond that. Hence the doctor's involvement.

I have no sexual interest in either sex by that extension. So I have the orientation, but perhaps also because whatever this disorder or damage is.

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I am, as of yet, unable to experience pleasure in that sense to the extent of orgasm, so one would say I'm asexual in the more literal sense. I am capable of arousal but I have yet to experience anything beyond that. Hence the doctor's involvement.

I have no sexual interest in either sex by that extension. So I have the orientation, but perhaps also because whatever this disorder or damage is.

Well, it could be a matter of physiology, though if you were capable of arousal, it would seem to me that you would be capable of feeling sexual attraction (i.e. desiring sex with another person). Of course, that's just my opinion; please feel free to take that with a grain of salt. ;)

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Well, it could be a matter of physiology, though if you were capable of arousal, it would seem to me that you would be capable of feeling sexual attraction (i.e. desiring sex with another person). Of course, that's just my opinion; please feel free to take that with a grain of salt. ;)

There are some major hormonal issues as well as some neurological damage, so it's likely a factor of those two things. :P

The arousal, interestingly, is almost purely physiological. Even with damage severing the nervous responses down there as they relate to the brain, the body tends to do its job and become aroused in other cases.

Either way, I just hope it gets fixed. ;p

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