I'M So Busted

[It'sJustMe]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Hi all!

So, as the topic states I was completely busted by my girlfriend yesterday. I've been freaking out all day trying to decide what to do when she gets home today, then I remembered all the good advice I've read on here. I wish I would have thought of this earlier as I may not have time to read much advice before she gets home. Anyway, here's the story...

Prior to yesterday my live in girlfriend had no idea about my diaper desires. I have been trying to build up the courage to tell her, but just hadn't thought of a good way to do it yet. A few hours before she usually comes home from work I was all alone and diapered. I was on our bed in nothing but a Bambino Classico. And, well... (embarrassing) I was on my stomach with my butt in the air pleasuring myself. As I was just getting ready to "finish up" I heard the worst scream I think I have ever heard and of course my GF was standing right there.

GF: What the Hell are you doing??

Me: Uhhhh

GF: What the hell are you wearing??

Me: Uhhhh

I was just speechless. I jumped up and she just glared at me, then the diaper and then me again.

GF: We need to talk, NOW!

Me: Ok

GF: I'll wait in the living room <she walked out>

I quickly pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. I figured I'd try to claim that I have some incontinence problems and the only thing wrong was she had just caught me pleasuring myself.

I don't remember the whole conversation, it all seems a blur now. But basically I told her that I was having problems wetting myself I was wearing diapers to protect my clothes and the bed at night. I totally forgot about that fact that I was wearing a Bambino when she caught me.... she didn't.

She didn't believe for a second that I was incontinent. She made it clear that she saw the baby pattern on the diaper and that an incontinent person probably wouldn't pleasure them self in a diaper... or be saying "yes mommy, yes mommy" while doing it. OOOPS! I don't think it's possible to be any more busted than I am.

So I figured that it couldn't get any worse and I just told her the whole story. I guess the only good news was that she couldn't get any madder than she already was. She listened to my story and then just said that she couldn't even look at me and that I better sleep downstairs. Her last word were that she didn't know what she was going to do. I kind of assume that she is going to kick me out so I have been boxing up some stuff that I want to make sure to take with me.

I don't really know if there is anything that could help the situation, but I am open to any and all suggestions. What would you do? I really don't want to loose her.

[beachxbunni123]

I am so sorry that, that happened to you. She is probably in shock right now and is reacting to that. I suggest that you guys live separately for a couple weeks or months so that she can get over being in the shock stage. I think that you should write her a letter explaining everything you feel and everything you want to also let her know (its easier to write it in a letter than say it in person and a letter is more intimate than a mere email). You can explain what DL is and that there are many other fetishes out there that are harmful unlike being a DL. If she is still weirded out by it and angry then I guess you should have to leave it at that. YOU need to make the first move about moving out before she kicks you out to save yourself some pride. Don't make a big deal about what happened because it will only seem more embarressing to her. Act like it was not a big deal and make sure that you're not begging to stay with her or else she will only be more turned off; she needs to make that decision. If she really LOVES you, she will come around again after she gets over being shocked by what happened.

[BriGuy]

OH MAN! No good, talking about getting caught with your hand in the proverbial cookie jar! YIKES! Best to be completely up front and absolutely honest about all of it now. You try lying any more and your only gonna make things worse on yourself!

~Brian

[adriansurley]

Wow, that has to be one of the worst ways to get caught in my opinion. Ouch - sorry

[willow]

That sucks, but you brought it upon yourself. I'm guessing next time you'll be up-front about it, and not have to come out the hard way.

Do yourself a favor and just move out. You don't deserve to be treated like a baby, even if you want to be. Both of you are going to need some space.

[BriGuy]

That sucks, but you brought it upon yourself. I'm guessing next time you'll be up-front about it, and not have to come out the hard way.

Do yourself a favor and just move out. You don't deserve to be treated like a baby, even if you want to be. Both of you are going to need some space.

wow HARSH!!!

[AutieAB]

Ouch ouch ouch! I'm sorry you it happened in such a bad way for you BUT this is why you should always be open and honest with serious partners, folks!!!

[HuggieBaby]

Long time lurker, first time poster. Hi all!

FIRST TIME.....LONG TIME!!!

haha, i had to

HuggieBaby

[Huggie]

DAMN!!! WOW, I feel for you Its Just Me. Give her space sounds good, I wouldn't move out just yet. Give her time to absorb it. Is she your age as well? Hopefully she won't out you. Just stay around answer her questions and hopefully it will be ok. I'd suggest that you show her the site, offer at least - there is a section for significant others learning of this.

Chill for now..."good luck" :|

Huggie

[Loveable_guy]

Getting the popcorn and cold beer ready, this is going to be a long one.

No advice offered other that come clean and if she loves you she'll hang in with you.

Oh as others have said give her space.

[squashNstretch]

Wow... I don''t think there is any advice that anyone here can give in this case. The ball is in her court. Be prepared for a worse case scenario here. You may go down as the most interesting boyfriend she has ever had.

[sarah_ab]

What kind of beer and can i have some?

honestly, i think SHE overreacted... sometimes, i think girls just LOVE drama in a relationship.. i've walked in on partners doing some pretty outrageous things, that i never knew existed, but i would never expect them to sleep on the couch...

i do hope she will calm down and be able to be an adult about this..

its not like she walked in on you sleeping with the maintanence man...

[momma.bear]

i think where you messed up, honestly, is not that you got caught, but that you tried to lie about it.

you should probably apologize for lying, & remain honest from here on out.

[It'sJustMe]

Ok, my GF just went to sleep so I can post a quick update. Thanks to all that posted advice, unfortunately I was only able to read the very first reply before she came home. But it was good advice.

So, she was actually calm when she came home and going to give me another chance... until I screwed it all up. She came home and walked right past me and went to the kitchen. She grabbed a big trash bag and came to me...

GF: I don't want to talk about it. You have a decision to make. It's me or the diapers, one has to go. <she then handed me the trash bag>

I wasn't expecting that one at all. I assumed it would be much worse so I didn't plan how I would react to that. I had made a decision to take charge of the situation like the first reply suggested I do. Generally she is not a very aggressive person and I can usually take command of a situation where she is trying to be in charge. So that was my plan and I was sticking to it. I had some boxes and clothes packed up and set out by the door to show her I was moving out. I thought the sight of me actually moving out would break her down a little bit and she would try to keep me around. I don't think she even saw the boxes, or if she did she didn't let on that she did.

Me: Well of course I would choose you over...

GF: Don't talk, throw them away or we're done.

Ok, so my well layed out plan has gone to crap. My next plan is to get rid of my stash and lay low for awhile. I figured that I could either bring it up again later, go back to hiding them, or <gasp> stop wearing.

So, I went to my stash to throw them all away. And to my surprise, she followed me. They were all in a couple of boxes I already had packed up (I sure wasn't leaving without them if it came to that)

As I started pulling it all out (disposables, cloth pull-ons, plastic pants) she watched and shook her head with a pissed off look on her face. Even though this was a horrible situation I still was kinda excited to have her see it all. Strange I guess.

So, everything was going according to plan (her plan) up to now. I took the trash bag to the garage to throw it all away. She wasn't following me anymore once I went into the garage. I opened the big stinky trash can with all intentions of throwing it all away... then I paused. Could I really do this? Those cloth diapers were damn expensive and I had only worn two of the Bambinos I had wanted for so long. I knew that I wouldn't really stop wearing, so why should I have to buy all of this stuff again. I could just keep some of the stuff and throw away all the regular diapers! So I quickly pulled two boxes off a shelf and started quickly grabbing the few things out of the bag that I really really wanted to save. I was almost done when... you guessed it, she opened the door really fast in what I assume was an attempt to catch me doing something wrong. Well it worked. She just looked at the boxes and then at me and said "that's it, we're done". She then turned around a walked away.

I've now got my truck full of boxes and clothes and plan to hopefully find an apartment tomorrow. I'm really sad that we're done, but I keep also thinking about how I can now truly be free to be me. Maybe I can get that adult sized crib I've always wanted but could only afford recently. And, oh boy am I going to buy every kind of diaper that is out there! It's going to be an exciting new start, but will also be very lonely... she was my best friend.

[DiaperBigBoy]

you gotta tell people up front about this, it only makes it worse. But then again it depends on the person, and how long youve been togather, but lying is not a good way to start a relationship

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well I think she made it abundantly clear she is not into the scene.

[Missy Q]

I do not wish to be offensive in anyway, but she seems like a total and utter Bee with an itch. It's your private part of your life and if she is going to force you to part with that then that's just being a selfish and arrogant arsehole.

I do not blame him for the problem, as diapers are a very touchy subject and it's not easy to be forward about it directly.

And the whole forcing you to remove something that means something to you is NOT O.K on her part.

I do not care if It'sJustMe was not directly forward about it, her reaction was totally uncalled for, childish, immature, and very unprofessional in a relationship.

[tris]

Awwww, buddy, that sucks!! A is totally deserved here.

You sound like a nice guy after all, so, I'm just gonna send some good will your way. My personal life is probably something you'd like, but I bet your worklife is something I'd envy. Apparently the universe doesn't let anyone have it both ways, which sucks, because, as humans, we need both to be truly happy. My relationship kicks ass right now, and I'm in a position in my social life where people expect something like this from me, and with a little help, we've been leaking my status slowly within our clique. It's always gonna be thin ice, but it's the only way to walk on water.

I'm gonna tell you though: You mighta just found the wrong kinda chick for this. ALOT of girls are open to this kinda thing after awhile, and you'll never know it 'til they sneak up on ya. My gf right now is getting into this a little more each week, and it's been nothing but bliss! The thing is, you gotta find the cool-headed, open-minded people that have a sense of nurturing. Most women that men really wanna settle down with (though some ignore the signs) are the cool chicks that have a mother's natural instinct, but would rather be 'one of the boys'. They're not all attractive; some are even lesbians, or LUGS (L Until Graduation). But they have that inner beauty - the sense of self, the intelligence, and the ever-elusive Common Sense.

What kind of woman do you prefer, It'sJustMe? What kinda guy are you? What 'look' do you go for? What kind of woman do you attract? Do you have GAME?

First impressions are EVERYTHING in the dating and relationships game. How you appear to women determines what type of woman will be attracted to you. If you're considered 'above average' in the aesthetics dept (this includes the physical traits and clothing), your spectrum will be much broader. If your pockets are bulging, 10x. Maybe you're a wallflower and you tend to 'blend in' with the crowd -- you're gonna attract less women than the good-looking douchebag, but your women are going to have a better chance of being kinkier. Granted, much of this is dependent on your forum and locale, but the idea is generally similar across the board.

What I'm getting at is -- if you're a bigger guy, like, 'built', or just fat, and your chick is significantly smaller than you, she's got a clear expectation of the physical aspect of the relationship. You're the man, and she's the one you take care of -- not the other way around. This especially applies to 'chicky babes'. A WARNING TO ALL ABDLs: Don't Date Chicky Babes! But if your lady is your best friend, and you're on 'equal levels' -- Like Kevin Garnett, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!! Find the ones that are TRULY your friends -- sounds like this chick wasn't such a good friend for you after all-- And you will start to blaze the path to ABlightenment. (Oh Snap -- is that a copyright infringement on the newest ABLounger?)

[beachxbunni123]

I think that if you are in LOVE with her, (it seems like it since you guys are best friends too) then maybe you should choose her over the diapers. I don't think that you should lose out on love due to a fetish... in the end, love is what will stay, a fetish does not. When people get older throughout love, they become each others companion and friend instead of having sex all the time like they used too. It sounds like you are truly in love with her and you WILL feel more lonely without her in your life. You have to decide what is more important to you: Friendship & Love(with her)? Or Diapers & Fetishes?.... She is just shocked right now. When I first realized that I had a diaper fetish, I was shocked also. I didn't want to accept it for YEARS. It took me a long time to realize that diapers were nothing but a fun fetish for me. She probably has never even heard of a diaper fetish ever! That is why she is in a complete shock because she really does LOVE you. Seeing you in diapers to her was a COMPLETE shock from the regular you that she sees every day! You have to understand that. DO NOT let this fetish control how you live your life and your love & friendship with her. A lot of people would disagree and say find someone who accepts you for the diapers but it is NOT worth it compared to what you are losing (friendship, love, a companion). TRUST me, you will regret it. Diapers CANNOT give you love and keep you from being lonely, but SHE can. Only you know the answer, good luck. Everyone needs to keep in mind that his girlfriend has NEVER heard of a diaper fetish or honestly knows much about it or she would realize that it is not so bad. Of course it is going to seem TERRIBLE, ODD, and EXTREME to people that aren't used to seeing their partners or themselves in diapers! She did not act immature, she acted out of shockk and it was reasonable because she isn't used to seeing someone in diapers like that. You guys have to understand that.

[toddmdl]

Ok, my GF just went to sleep so I can post a quick update. Thanks to all that posted advice, unfortunately I was only able to read the very first reply before she came home. But it was good advice.

So, she was actually calm when she came home and going to give me another chance... until I screwed it all up. She came home and walked right past me and went to the kitchen. She grabbed a big trash bag and came to me...

GF: I don't want to talk about it. You have a decision to make. It's me or the diapers, one has to go. <she then handed me the trash bag>

I wasn't expecting that one at all. I assumed it would be much worse so I didn't plan how I would react to that. I had made a decision to take charge of the situation like the first reply suggested I do. Generally she is not a very aggressive person and I can usually take command of a situation where she is trying to be in charge. So that was my plan and I was sticking to it. I had some boxes and clothes packed up and set out by the door to show her I was moving out. I thought the sight of me actually moving out would break her down a little bit and she would try to keep me around. I don't think she even saw the boxes, or if she did she didn't let on that she did.

Me: Well of course I would choose you over...

GF: Don't talk, throw them away or we're done.

Ok, so my well layed out plan has gone to crap. My next plan is to get rid of my stash and lay low for awhile. I figured that I could either bring it up again later, go back to hiding them, or <gasp> stop wearing.

So, I went to my stash to throw them all away. And to my surprise, she followed me. They were all in a couple of boxes I already had packed up (I sure wasn't leaving without them if it came to that)

As I started pulling it all out (disposables, cloth pull-ons, plastic pants) she watched and shook her head with a pissed off look on her face. Even though this was a horrible situation I still was kinda excited to have her see it all. Strange I guess.

So, everything was going according to plan (her plan) up to now. I took the trash bag to the garage to throw it all away. She wasn't following me anymore once I went into the garage. I opened the big stinky trash can with all intentions of throwing it all away... then I paused. Could I really do this? Those cloth diapers were damn expensive and I had only worn two of the Bambinos I had wanted for so long. I knew that I wouldn't really stop wearing, so why should I have to buy all of this stuff again. I could just keep some of the stuff and throw away all the regular diapers! So I quickly pulled two boxes off a shelf and started quickly grabbing the few things out of the bag that I really really wanted to save. I was almost done when... you guessed it, she opened the door really fast in what I assume was an attempt to catch me doing something wrong. Well it worked. She just looked at the boxes and then at me and said "that's it, we're done". She then turned around a walked away.

I've now got my truck full of boxes and clothes and plan to hopefully find an apartment tomorrow. I'm really sad that we're done, but I keep also thinking about how I can now truly be free to be me. Maybe I can get that adult sized crib I've always wanted but could only afford recently. And, oh boy am I going to buy every kind of diaper that is out there! It's going to be an exciting new start, but will also be very lonely... she was my best friend.

What a bitch.

[sarah_ab]

She is clearly not the one for you.

any person who gives their partner an ultimatum like she gave you, without even having an actual conversation with you after both parties have calmed down is not someone you want to be with.

i'm sure you are hurting, and i am so very sorry it worked out this way, but i sincerely believe this is for the better.

she clearly had no intentions of attempting to understand you or your desires, and that is not someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.

[dudewheresmyname321]

What a bitch.

Agreed,

Just throw them away, and wait till she calms down. I bet she's so freaked out cuz she's one of those people who equates you wearing diapers to you liking children. It's something she's never seen before and has no idea of the complexities. I mean, if I saw my girlfriend covered in slime and tied to the bed with a strap on, i'd be pretty shocked, and we'd have to work it out, but it wouldn't end on either of us like, freakin moving out.

You're girlfriend sounds like a controlling, selfish bitch who is easily angered. I don't know how serious you are with her or how deep the love is with each other, but its looking more and more like it's unhealthy, especially cuz you called her "mommy" right? I worry that you are caught in a very unhealthy relationship that you should seriously do some thinking on.

[timmyc]

I don't thinkit will work any way you slice it. To be caught like that, he never talked to her about his interests despite "loving" her. Caught red handed and the first responce was an unbelivable lie. She won't talk to him, even after the initial shock. I don't think the ultimatim was right, but when given the choice, he still chose the diapers (not saying I wouldn't try to save them too) For being best friends, their seems to be a real communication problem on both sides. The situation sucks and I feel for the original poster, but I don't see anything about the situation working out. Based on my definition of the word love, neither of you are in it (Maybe my definition is differant than yours). Best of luck and sorry about your situation.

[tris]

He didn't call her mommy, he called his hand mommy, which, probably surprised her more than anything else, hahah.

[willow]

Now who's being harsh...

She's just panicking, perfectly understandable after you catch your significant other half in Pampers sucking his thumb and sitting in his own mess. But seriously, if this relationship gets turned around I'll be extremely surprised, I'd put money on it.

You could at least have told her after a few months that you were a bit kinky/deviant and that one day you're going to have to sit down and have a chat, but just hiding stuff for ages is akin to lying your ass off.

You're done. You can't quit diapers, ask anyone here who's tried that. Anyone make 6 months?, pft....

I suggest you calmly sit down, explain the situation to her, and she takes you as you are or you walk out the door. Don't let it hit you on the way out.....